I felt sick. “At this point, I’m already going to be crushed when you leave. I’ve been falling for you for a very long time, even back when you were with Veronica.”
“Yeah?” He smiled, seeming a bit surprised.
“Yes.”
“I never considered staying for her. But for you, I want to stay forever. Before my mother told me about my father’s relapse, I went to the school to see if there was a way I could extend my stay. But they told me it wasn’t possible, that the program is only meant to be for one year. They confirmed that I have to go back.”
“I didn’t know you did that.”
“Well, even if they had told me I could stay, I’d likely have to go back now. I can’t leave my mother to deal with that alone.” He blew out a long breath. “It just sucks.”
Laying my head on his shoulder again, I said, “It does.”
“I want to stay here. Please understand that.”
“I know,” I whispered.
“I don’t want to stay away from you anymore. But we can’t sleep together. Alright? I have to draw a line somewhere. But I’m done avoiding you. I want to spend all the free time I have left with you. And I want to kiss the hell out of you every chance I get.”
I looked up at him and smiled. “It’s a deal.”
We fell into another kiss on that park bench and stayed there for at least an hour. We eventually called an Uber to take us home.
I didn’t fully understand what difference it would make if we had sex at this point. My heart was already in so deep it was breaking. It didn’t matter if Caleb was physically inside of me. He was already inside my heart and soul.CHAPTER TWENTY* * *CALEBEvery day I felt more attached to Teagan, and even though we were spending every moment we could find kissing and touching, I hadn’t dared to venture below the waist. There was only so much we could do down in her room anyway with her family right upstairs. Consequently, my dick was so hard most of the time I was certain it was going to combust. I was the holdout, and I kept convincing myself I was doing the right thing, but with every moment we spent together, stopping felt less and less natural.
I’d taken on more hours at the restaurant, but today I had a rare Friday night off. And I really wanted to spend it with Teagan.
She normally got back from her internship about five-thirty on Friday nights. It was five forty-five, so I went downstairs to her room. It was empty, so I lay down on her bed and rang her.
“Hey,” she answered,
“Where are you?”
“I have to stay late tonight—until seven. I get to help clean out some of the tanks, though.”
“Only you would be excited about cleaning fish shit.”
“I never said it excited me, but you know me so well.”
“Indeed I do.” I sighed, imagining the way she was probably smiling right now. “So you’ll be back around seven-thirty? I miss your face.”
“Yeah, another couple of hours or so.”
“Shit. Alright. I guess I can wait here for you in your bed.”
“You’re in my room?”
“Yes. It’s how I knew you weren’t here.”
“Don’t go searching in my drawers or anything.”
“Well, now that you’ve said that, you’ve got me curious. Please tell me you have a vibrator or porn in here somewhere.”
“How else do you think I deal with my constant pent-up sexual frustration? It has to be released somehow.”
Christ. I hadn’t been serious, but now I might walk around hard all night.
“I have to go,” she said.
“You can’t just say something like that and hang up on me.” I laughed.
“Goodbye, Caleb.”***Restless and thinking about nothing but Teagan masturbating, I didn’t feel like waiting for her to come home. So I took the train to the aquarium to surprise her. I figured maybe we could grab a bite to eat downtown after her shift.
When I entered the building, I was surprised to see her standing at the counter of the gift shop. A guy I assumed was that Jacob bloke who’d taken her out once leaned toward her, getting way too close for my comfort.
A rush of adrenaline coursed through my veins, though she was merely talking to him. In a flash I saw the future where I wouldn’t be around for Teagan, a future where she’d go on to date other guys, fall in love, and have lots of sex—not with me. I couldn’t control any of that from an ocean away.
She hadn’t seen me yet. Maybe I should just turn around and go home. But that didn’t feel right. What did feel right was interrupting.
“Are you off the clock?” I asked as I approached.
Teagan turned at the sound of my voice. “Caleb.”
The smile on her face took away much of my uneasiness. She seemed happy to see me.