I wasn’t anticipating what came out of his mouth next.
“I lie awake at night praying she chooses me. And the other half of the time, I’m praying she doesn’t…because I’ll never be able to give her everything she deserves.”
It genuinely did hurt me to think about what happened to Rory. I couldn’t imagine having to deal with that on top of everything else. But I knew Amber. And if she believed Rory was the one for her, his not being able to have children wouldn’t deter her from wanting to be with him. Amber was naturally loving. I could easily see her adopting and treating that child like it was her own. Just look at the way she was with Milo.
“Don’t do that to yourself, man,” I simply said.
His hardened expression seemed to soften. “Where do we go from here?”
“We shake hands and agree not to make this more difficult than it already is.”
Rory held out his hand to me, and I took it. I didn’t know what came over me when I suddenly yanked him toward me into a hug. Then, we patted each other on the back.
“I’m sorry to hear about your mother,” he said.
“Thank you.”
“She was always so nice to me.”
“Yeah. She always liked you.” I grinned and joked, “She never was a good judge of character.”
He smiled. “Jackass.”
As we walked back into the hospital, Rory turned to me and said, “I wasn’t thinking I’d be heading back in here unscathed. You disappoint me, Lord. I was expecting at least a bloody lip.”
“You hurt Amber again, and I’ll be happy to deliver that and more. No matter how this story ends, I will always have Amber’s back, which means you’ll have to watch yours.”
He smacked me hard on the back. “Same goes for you.”
The nurse who’d scolded us earlier was watching us like a hawk when we returned to the floor. Assuming our position in front of the narrow window on Amber’s door, we could see through the glass that she was no longer sleeping.
“Looks like she’s awake,” Rory said. “I was gonna go down to the cafeteria and get some coffee. You want anything?”
I knew he was intentionally giving me time alone with her, and I appreciated that.
“Nah. I think I’m just gonna go on in and let her know I’m here.”
He nodded once. “Alright.”
I watched as he walked toward the elevators. I’d come to Boston hoping to make things right with Amber. I never expected to make peace with Rory.
I guess holiday miracles do happen.CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX* * *AMBERBlinking my eyes open, I had no idea how long I’d been sleeping nor what day it was. The grid-like squares of fluorescent light on the ceiling were giving me a headache as was the smell of the hospital itself, a mix of antiseptic and flesh.
That feeling of dread whenever I thought about my current reality started to seep in as I became more coherent.
The meds they were giving me were working but not fast enough. Grabbing for the remote, I turned on the television and blankly stared at the news program that was on. The bed adjacent to mine was empty, and for that, I was grateful.
There was a slight knock. Assuming it was the nurse coming to take my vitals, I didn’t even look in the direction of the door.
When he appeared at my bedside, the recognition of his scent made me realize it wasn’t a nurse after all.
As I looked up at Channing, I could hardly believe he was here. As my heart pumped faster, I shut off the television. My eyes closed as his hand slowly reached my cheek. He smelled like the outside mixed with sandalwood, literally a breath of fresh air in this stagnant place.
“How are you feeling?”
“I’ve been better.” I smiled. “But I’m going to be okay.”
He exhaled and took my hand. “Thank God. I was worried sick.”
A feeling so powerful came over me. I finally understood what people like Boris and Annabelle had been telling me all along—that there would come a time when what I was truly feeling would reveal itself organically. Inexplicably, I would know where my heart was. It was a feeling that couldn’t be quantified nor was it premeditated. It just happened upon me naturally and unexpectedly.
This sickness had knocked the wind out of me. But it had also given me more time to reflect on my life. It wasn’t until he was right in front of me at this very moment that I became certain of my truest feelings—that I couldn’t live without this man. I’d been miserable from the moment he left to go back to Chicago.
“Where’s Rory?” I asked.
The expression on his face darkened. He was probably assuming that my question meant I needed Rory more than him. The truth was, I needed to make sure that Rory wasn’t going to walk in at this particular moment. I knew Rory had been at the hospital almost the entire time I was here.