He was acting totally normal, so I breathed a little sigh of relief as we dug into our food.
This was fine.
Maybe he didn’t notice.
Maybe I had closed out of it.
Just eat and forget about it.
Yeah, right.
I looked down at the meal in front of me. “This is…interesting.”
“It’s something I’ve wanted to make for a while. It’s melted chocolate cheese pizza.”
“Kill two birds with one stone. Dinner and dessert,” I said as I tried to remain calm.
It actually turned out to be really good. The tangy cheese and sweet chocolate atop the crispy crust made for an unexpectedly tasty contrast. Leave it to Channing to figure out the culinary potential in that unusual combination.
He was looking at me intently when he asked, “How did you like it?”
“It was delicious. Thank you.”
He leaned in and crossed his arms. His voice was low. “I was referring to my dick.”
The food caught in my throat. “Excuse me?”
“You were looking at a picture of my dick earlier, weren’t you? It was open on my phone.”
The pizza felt like it was coming up on me. “Uh…I can explain…”
His brow lifted. “Yeah?”
“I wasn’t looking for those pictures...I swear. I was looking at Steven Tyler then hit a button and the next thing I knew, it was 2015 and cockapalooza.”
He started to crack up as he rubbed his eyes. “Cockapalooza…”
“I’m mortified.”
When his laughter died down, he said, “I’m the one who should be embarrassed, not you.”
“Trust me, you have nothing to be embarrassed about.”
Those words exited my mouth before I could think better of saying them.
Great. I’d basically just complimented him on his cock.
“Well, thank you.” He slid his phone toward me. “And if you think I have nothing but dick pics on my phone, feel free to scroll through everything. I’m pretty sure you found the one hidden gem in the lot.”
I hit the cock lottery, apparently.
I slid his phone back toward him. “Lucky me. Anyway, do you think it’s possible to never mention this again?”
“But you’re so cute when you’re embarrassed. Seeing as though I’m not very cute, however, when I’m embarrassed…we can agree to forget this ever happened.”
The fact that he actually seemed uncomfortable about this took me by surprise.
“Thanks.”
“No problem.” Channing surprised me with his next question as he changed the subject. “So, what do you think I should do about Emily?”
We’re on this subject again? I would probably rather talk about the dick pic than her.
“You’re asking me?”
“Why not? I trust your opinion probably more than anyone’s.”
He’d totally stumped me. I wanted to tell him that she didn’t deserve him, that she’d had her chance. But then I had to wonder if that answer was influenced by my selfish need to not have to witness him with her over the next several weeks. People make mistakes. They misjudge. Everyone deserves a second chance. Right? Still, the right answer was unclear to me.
“I’m not sure what to tell you. I think you should honestly do what’s in your heart. I do believe everyone deserves at least one second chance, though.”
He kept staring into my eyes then said, “Like the one you plan to give Rory.”
“Rory isn’t asking for one.”
“Yet.”
“I don’t know what I would do if he did, to be honest. I mean, how can you ever trust someone who left you once?”
He crossed his arms. “I know what my advice to you would be if he ever came back.”
“You’d tell me not to take him back.”
“You deserve better than someone who’s stupid enough to throw you away once.”
“Why wouldn’t the same apply to you, then?”
“I guess I don’t see my situation with Emily in the same way. We’d barely gotten started. I’d also given her no real indication that I was ready for a relationship, even though I might have been leaning in that direction. And looking back, I don’t think things had completely ended with her boyfriend. So, all things considered…I do think the situation is a lot different than yours.”
“Makes sense. You didn’t have a long history like I did with Rory. He was my first…everything. And I thought he’d be my last. It’s hard to break away from the future I’d envisioned. I’m doing everything I can to try. But overall, I feel very lost.”
Way to change the subject over to Rory, Amber.
He took a while to respond then leaned in. “You’re placing value on the distorted idea that the decision he made somehow reflects on you. It doesn’t. You’re still you, and you have your whole life ahead of you. Fuck him.”
His words were momentarily empowering. He always had a way of making me feel better even if it was only fleeting. I placed my hand on his arm. “Thank you. I needed that.”
He was staring at me for a bit before he said, “You said that Rory was your first…everything.” Channing squinted his eyes like he was challenging me. “You sure about that?”