None of the girls I’d hooked up with in high school or college meant anything to me. Amber was really the only girl I’d ever developed feelings for at the time. They never escalated to the point of love, but I cared about her, wanted to protect her.
Before Lainey died, Amber was merely my sister’s friend. After Lainey passed away, Amber and I got closer. She was the only person keeping me sane during one of the most difficult periods of my life—those months after my sister’s death.
But actually dating Amber back then was never something I considered a realistic option. I was too young and unpredictable. Not to mention, I was the spawn of an asshole, womanizing father. What if the apple didn’t fall far from the tree? I was certain I’d end up hurting her. She was like a sister to me—a sister I secretly wanted to fuck but knew I never would. And I guess my attitude was that Rory should have felt the same way since the three of us were supposed to be friends. He and I should’ve wanted to protect her, not take advantage of her. But yet, what we should’ve felt didn’t matter. We both wanted her.
So, when Rory came to me and confessed his feelings for Amber one night, I felt like I needed to tell him how I really felt about her, too. My jealousy was through the roof, even though I didn’t think he was any kind of competition for me. That had been the one consolation—or so I thought. We agreed that since we couldn’t both have her, that neither of us would tell her how we felt. We’d come to the understanding that it was better to keep our friendship intact—both with each other and with Amber.
I therefore didn’t feel like I needed to watch my back when I went away to the University of Florida, leaving my friends behind. I trusted that he wouldn’t move in on her and even more so, I figured that if he did, she wouldn’t return his feelings. It was like double security in my mind.
Homesick, I decided to transfer back to a state school after my first year in Gainesville was up. When I came home that summer and found out that they were together, it felt like the ultimate betrayal. I alienated myself from both of them for a while. During that time, my manwhore ways were worse than ever once the school year started up again. It was a bad combination of acting out due to anger along with being the new, hot guy on campus at the local college I’d transferred to.
Over time, though, I began to accept things as they were. After all, even if Amber had been available, I knew I wasn’t the right guy for her anyway. She deserved someone who wouldn’t screw her over, someone like…Rory. He was safe. I grew to accept them together, and she and I were able to renew our friendship, although things were never exactly the same again between the three of us—especially between Rory and me. And he knew why.
Had seeing them together still hurt like a motherfucker? Yes. But I’d accepted that he was the better man for her. Sucking up my jealousy and pride, I ended up moving on.
So, finding out that he’d broken her heart all these years later was a tough pill to swallow. If he were in front of me right now, there was no guarantee I wouldn’t injure him.
I flipped my pillow around and fluffed it while Kitty purred and curled up into the crook of my neck. A sneeze from behind the bedroom door was the first indication that Amber, too, wasn’t getting any sleep.
I got up. She was leaning against the kitchen counter blowing her nose.
“Are you okay?”
She jumped a little. I’d startled her.
Amber sneezed again then said, “I think I might be allergic to your pussy.”
“Well, that’s a new one. Can’t say I’ve ever heard that before,” I joked. Then, it really hit me that she was serious. “Fuck. You’re allergic to the cat…”
“I’m not sure, but it’s a good possibility, seeing as though I’m suddenly sneezing incessantly.”
Shit.
As much as it pained me to follow through with my original plan to take Kitty to the shelter, I knew that was going to be even more necessary now. I’d secretly hoped to be able to keep her around.
“I’ll find a place for Kitty tomorrow, make some calls during my lunch break.”
“Kitty?” She laughed. “Is that her name?”
“Yeah. I know…not very original, but that’s what I started calling her and it stuck.”
“I’m gonna start calling you Stud.” She stuck her hand out in jest. “Nice to meet you. I’m Bitch.”
I took her hand, which was so small it felt breakable. “My friends call me Dick.” My smile faded into a frown when I said, “Kitty will be gone by tomorrow.”