I blink, not sure how to respond to that. “Oh, well, he’s changed.”
“I’m sure he has.”
“Does he know you’re here?”
Kara smiles. “Yes. I came into town unexpectedly and surprised him. He had to go to work but let me stay here.”
Nothing about this seems right. Why would Dean let his ex-wife stay here? Did they hook up or something? No, I doubt it. Dean isn’t that kind of person to go back to someone who hurt him like that.
And we’re together.
“I’m going to call him.” I take a step back toward the door, thinking I’d rather be in my car than in the house with this crazy lady.
“No need.” Kara points to the door. “I think I hear the garage.”
“Oh, yeah. I do too.” I put my phone back in my purse and move to the side so Dean won’t whack me with the door when he comes inside.
“Rory,” he says, eyes flitting from me to Kara.
“Hi, Dean.” Kara puts on a pretty smile.
“What are you still doing here?” he asks her. “I told you to leave.”
“We need to talk,” Kara insists. “And finish our conversation from this morning.”
I tip my head up to Dean, chest tightening. “What is going on?”
“Nothing,” he says. “Nothing you need to worry about.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” He looks at Kara. “Can you give us some space?”
“Of course.” Kara walks away and Dean steps out of the mud room, looking into the kitchen to make sure Kara isn’t lurking behind the corner.
“She just showed up this morning,” Dean tells me. “It threw me off guard and I thought she would have left and gone to her sister’s by now.”
“It’s not your fault she showed up.” I force a smile. “She wants you back, doesn’t she? I mean, you are quite the catch.”
“Yeah.” Dean’s brows pinch together, and he looks conflicted. Didn’t he tell me he didn’t have feelings for her anymore? I think his exact words were it was over before it ended or something very similar at least.
Is seeing her again bringing up those old feelings?
“Do you want her back?” I ask slowly, feeling like I’m sinking underwater in slow motion.
“No,” he rushes out. “I don’t. Seeing her again is reminding me why I’ve sworn off relationships. They’re all damned.”
My brows furrow. “What?”
He closes his eyes, wincing at his words. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“How did you mean it?”
“I…I don’t know.”
“What?” And now I’m slipping under water. How did things go from cloud nine to a shallow grave so fast? Dean casts his eyes down, slowly shaking his head. “Dean,” I repeat. “How did you mean it?”Chapter 35DeanThis is a defining moment for us, and I know it. The scales could tip either way, and I’m fucking terrified of them coming apart at the hinges and falling into a rusty heap at my feet. I told Rory I want more, that I like waking up with her by my side. I didn’t promise marriage, but I let her know I want her in my future.
And I do.
Yet standing here, with the woman I used to love behind me, and Rory in front of me fucks with my head. Nothing can fall apart if I don’t put it together. I’m attracted to Rory. She’s attracted to me. We get along great and the sex is a-fucking-mazing.
“I don’t know.” The words feel like a lie the moment they leave my lips. Because I do know what I want, and it terrifies me more than anything.
I don’t want to get hurt again.
And I don’t want to hurt her.
What if I’m not good enough? What if it was my fault things fell apart the first time and history is damned to repeat itself.
That I’m the issue.
I can’t bring myself to say it. Because everything came rushing back. The disappointment. The betrayal. The feeling of sand rushing out from under my feet no matter how hard I fought to keep my footing.
And in that moment, I don’t want to damn Rory to a future of pain.
“I thought you liked being with me.”
“I do.”
“I’m confused.” She brings her hand to her face, pressing her fingers to her forehead. “So you like being with me but feel like all relationships are damned to fail?” Her lips part and she shakes her head.
“No…I don’t know.”
She looks up, lips parting, and tears fill her eyes. “I…I guess…I’ll…I’ll…” Her eyes flutter shut, and a single tear rolls down her cheek. Her lips press together in a smile as she tries to hold it all together. “I guess I should go.”
And then she turns and leaves.
The second Rory walks out the door I know I made a huge mistake. My heart sinks to the bottom of my chest, going to a place so low I didn’t know it existed.
She’s everything I’ve ever wanted, and everything I need. I don’t want to lose her.