We’ve enjoyed each other the last few days. There’s no mistaking Dean’s attraction to me, and it’s obvious how my body reacts to his.
Yet…I have no idea what we’re doing. He said he wanted to prove that I’m more than a piece of ass to him, but then what? I hate confrontation of any kind, and it would be easy to keep doing this—whatever it is—than to ask about it and make things weird.
But I have to know.
Because the more time I spend with Dean, the more I like him. The more I feel, and the more I want…which puts me at an even bigger risk of getting hurt. So tonight at dinner, I have to lay it out there.
He might tell me he doesn’t see this going anywhere, but at least I’d know.
“Rory!” someone calls as soon as we step to the side after giving our name to the hostess.
“That’s my roommate,” I whisper to Dean. “We can pretend we don’t hear them.”
“She looks like Drew Carey’s mother.”
I laugh. “I know. She’s really nice though.”
“I think they want us to join them. We can.”
“You sure?”
He shrugs. “Why not? It’s at least a thirty minute wait until we get a table anyway.”
Dammit. How am I going to talk to him now?
“Hi,” I say, stopping by their table.
“Join on, dear! We have the room.”
“You don’t mind?” I ask, though it’s not like she’s going to say no now.”
“Of course not! This must be your friend.” JoAnn’s eyebrows, which are drawn on higher than yesterday, hike up past her poofy bangs. “The one keeping you busy all night.”
“This is Dean,” introduce, sitting in the chair Dean pulled out for me. “And Dean, this is JoAnn and Brenda. They’re both nurses as well.”
JoAnn leans over. “Now that’s what I call a man.” She bats her lashes and flashes Dean a smile.
“What do you do for a living, son?”
“I’m a contractor,” Dean tells her, taking a seat next to me. “I’m a partner at our family’s company.”
“And you two knew each other previously?” JoAnn slathers butter on a slice of bread.
“Yeah. We’ve, uh, hung out before,” I say, taking the cloth napkin and spreading it out in my lap.
“So you traveled together?” Brenda asks, looking at Dean like she wants to take the butter from JoAnn, slather it all over Dean and eat him like a snack.
“I didn’t know she was going to be here,” Dean says and puts his hand on mine. I’m still unsure what’s going on between us, but he sure is acting like we’re a couple.
A couple who keeps things annoyingly PG.
“But I’m glad we ran into each other.”
“Me too,” I say, heart flutter once again. “I really don’t want to go back to Indiana. It’s so cold.”
“I’m from Santa Fe,” Brenda says. “I’ll happily trade you for some of our heat.”
“I’d take you up on that offer if I could,” I laugh. A waitress comes over and takes our order. Both Brenda and JoAnn are fascinated with the snow, having never seen it before, and ask us questions about a midwest winter until our food comes. The night isn’t going as I planned, but I can’t say it’s unenjoyable.
Dinner is wrapping up, and JoAnn is trying to get us to go to karaoke with her once we’re done. That’s the last thing I want to do—being in front of a group of people is my idea of torture, and I can’t carry a tune in a bucket—yet part of me wants to say yes.
I have a history of getting to a point in a relationship where I think everything is going along perfectly and then shit falls apart at my feet. If Dean and I never get to the point of having a relationship, then—fuck—I don’t know. We do this song and dance long enough for it to become our routine?
No, that’s awful.
My chest starts to tighten and I’m regretting eating my entire side salad along with the penne pasta. I moved from the only home I’d ever known to get a fresh start.
To keep things simple.
To really give myself a chance to establish me and to finally become one hundred percent comfortable in my own skin. Am I screwing everything up by looking for something that’s not really there? This could very well be some vacation fling…though if Dean wanted a fling he could have women lined up outside his door.
My insecurities come rushing back and I sink my teeth into my bottom lip, tapping my foot against the floor. I’ve worked hard not to let them get to me anymore, but I’m human, and right now I’m feeling like there’s no way Dean would want to be with me.
He was married, betrayed, and divorced. I get why he doesn’t want to settle down again. Why would little old me be the one to change his mind?