I look at her more closely, trying to picture her on a campus, books in her arms, a pencil behind her ear.
“What?” she asks.
“I’m just picturing you in a library, memorizing complicated definitions, your hair in a bun.”
She punches me playfully. “You are such a guy.”
I shrug. “This is true, but I like to think of myself as a man.”
“Okay then, fancy-man, now that you know I am not all talk, tell me about you. I’m not the only one who deserves the fifth degree.”
“Not much to tell.”
“No way. You’re giving me more than that.”
“Okay, I went to college too, in Juneau. Never left the state in my whole damn life.”
Her eyes widen. “Never?”
“Nope. Never needed to. This is my home, the land I love.”
“You sound like a politicians’ slogan.”
“I mean it. I love Alaska. And after my mom died, I moved out to the woods. Didn’t need the city anymore.”
“You and your mom were close then?”
I nod. “My dad died when I was eight. And it was always her and me against the world. And she had saying it like it was.”
“She was a fighter?”
I smile sadly, remembering the woman who raised me, who taught me right from wrong. “You would have loved her.”
“Oh, yeah?”
I nod. “She founded HAHA.”
“Wait, what?”
I pull the coffee cup to my mouth. “Yeah, my mom is Helen Ottenbagh.”
Her eyes narrow. “Your mother is Helen Ottenbagh?”
“Yeah, and she married Luther Morris. The man who tried to buy you.”
“What are you talking about?” She sets her coffee mug on the gravel drive and stands, putting her hands on her hips. “This whole time you’ve been keeping that from me?”
“I didn’t mean to keep anything from you. When exactly should I have brought up my mom? While we were in my bed this morning?”
“But it changes everything,” she says shaking her head as if confused.
“How?”
“It just feels like a major omission.” She sets down her coffee, biting her bottom lip. “It makes me feel like…”
“Like what?”
“Like I don’t know you.”
I cock a brow, feeling like she’s overreacting, but knowing that if I tell her as much she’ll flip out. “I think you know enough, Justine.”
“This was a mistake.”
My eyes go wide and I reach for her, but she pulls away. “What do you mean? We’ve had an amazing time. And I feel things for you, Justine, that I’ve never felt for anyone.”
She shakes her head. “I should never have slept with you.”
I can’t help but get annoyed at those words. “That’s bullshit. This was not a mistake. This was meant to be.”
“No, Ryder, you kidnapped me, telling me the whole time that you were protecting me, that Luther Morris was a monster but your mom was married to him. You’re telling me that a wise woman like her would fall for an asshole?”
“That is exactly what I’m saying. Luther’s a manipulator.” I clench my jaw, not wanting to talk about that fucker. “And I didn’t want you to be played by him.”
“So, you just took my virginity so he couldn’t have it?”
“I never took anything. You are the one who wanted to sleep with me if I remember correctly.” I run my hands through my hair, getting pissed now. “And for the record, Justine, you may have idolized my mother, but she wasn’t perfect. She was a person like everyone else.”
“I need to go home, Ryder.” She wipes a tear from her eye “My parents are probably worried sick.”
“I get that. We can call them, but you don’t need to leave in a hurry.” I keep thinking about last night, how with Justine in my arms, it felt like the world was ours for the taking. Being around her gives my life meaning in a way it hasn’t before.
“I meant it when I said I wanted to protect you, Justine, and I still do. I can’t have you leaving so damn soon.”
“It’s my choice to make, Ryder. Not yours. And I don’t think I know who you are anymore. In fact, I don’t think I ever knew you at all.”
“That’s not true,” I insist. But she isn’t listening. She’s fixated on the one thing I didn’t tell her last night.
Instead of hearing the reason I kidnapped her, she’s assuming the worst in me.Chapter 15JustineRyder may have set my skin on fire and his hands may have opened me up and made me whole, but I totally forgot the reason I ended up at his cabin.
I ended up here because he kidnapped me.
It’s like I needed this heated conversation with him so I could be pulled back from the fog that is Ryder. It’s like he brought me to the woods and put me under a spell. I forgot myself when I was in his arms, and now, I’m waking up and remembering.
“I need a moment alone.”
“Out here?” He looks around. “You can’t wander off, Justine. This is still the wilderness.”