“Don’t slow down,” he orders. “I want you to cum while my cock is in your mouth.”
I speed up and almost immediately a monster of an orgasm rips through me. I lose control of my muscles. My mouth opens in a strangled scream and my hands instinctively go around his thighs. As I come back down I gently suck on his cock as if it is a pacifier. It is my pacifier. I could go to sleep with his cock in my mouth.
He looks down on me. A possessive, cruel, expression on his face.
Then he starts fucking my mouth. Hard and rough. His cock choking me. I don’t protest. No, to the contrary. I enjoy watching him lose control.
He is like a beast, a bull that is let out of its pen. He thrusts deep into my throat, and with a roar starts to climax. Not the way he usually does, but with a kind of pent-up fury. In a frenzy. I swallow the hot spurts eagerly. Finally, my orgasm is over. He stops bucking his hips. His chest rises and falls as he takes deep breaths. I look up at him and he is looking down at me. There is an odd expression on his face.
“Go take a shower,” he tells me. His voice is hard and cold again.
I pull my mouth away from his cock, stand, and get dressed. Without looking back at him I go upstairs to my room and into my bathroom.
I switch on the shower and stand under the waterfall. Drops of water rush around me. I feel the first sob come so quietly. It is lost in the roar of the water. The second sob shakes my shoulder. I don’t know why I’m crying, but it feels as if my heart is breaking.
I feel trapped. I’m married to Nigel and in an unexplainable sexual bind with Nikolai. I made a promise to Nigel. All said and done Nigel loves me. Nikolai, on the other hand, almost hates me. To him I am a thing.
In a month’s time he will change me for someone else.
I cry because I am hurt. I cry because I don’t understand what is happening to me. Why I am so addicted to Nikolai’s body. This wild lust swirling around inside me confuses me and frightens me. It feels foreign. The shower door behind me opens suddenly.
I whirl around.
Nikolai is standing there. He comes in wearing all his clothes, even his shoes. He holds me against his chest and I sob. I really sob. When my sobs subside. He gets on his knees. Into the exact same position he had put me in. He parts my thighs.
Raking my fingers into his hair I pull him towards my crotch. Exactly as he had done to me. I grind my clit against his tongue and face until I climax. When it’s over I collapse backwards against the warm tiles.
The air is filled with steam but his eyes glitter like sad stars.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Nikolai
I stare at the director in shock. I know about men like him. Mama warned me about them when I was Pavel’s age.
He smiles at me before gently taking his penis out. It is small, fat and white. He strokes it lovingly and it grows. A sigh escapes his thin lips. I stay frozen in my chair. He spreads the white handkerchief on his lap and carefully, tenderly, as if it is the most precious thing in the world, lays his penis on top.
“Just put your hand on me,” he coaxes in a thick voice. “You can make your phone call after that.”
I stare at the white worm and consider my options. He makes my skin crawl. I don’t want to touch him but I need to make that phone call.
“Don’t you want to call your uncle to come and take you and your brother away?” he asks.
I nod.
“So come on over and kneel down in front of me.”
I stand and take the two steps that put me right in front of him.
“Go on. Get on your knees. The sooner you do this the quicker you can call your uncle.”
I kneel in front of him.
He licks his lips “Do you think I have a nice cock?”
I look at it. It is smaller than mine, and definitely much smaller than my father’s. As a matter of fact, it’s hardly bigger than Pavel’s. I nod slowly.
“Would you like to touch it?” he encourages softly.
I reach out my hand and touch it. The skin is smooth and warm.
“There. That wasn’t so hard, was it? Why don’t you put it in your mouth?”
I look up at him. “Why?”
“You can suck it. Just like a lollipop. It tastes very good.”
He is the director. I am just one boy. An orphan. Mama and Papa don’t even know where we are. Nobody cares about me. Nobody will believe my story. I will not get my phone call if I do not do as he asks. I will get punished. The strap will be used on me. Far easier to do what he asks. Then I will get my phone call and Pavel and I can leave this horrible place.
I look at the director’s penis. It doesn’t look like a lollipop, but it looks clean. Maybe it won’t taste too bad.
I once heard my mother tell my father, “I worry about Nikolai. He will either be a great man or a convict. He is too hard-headed, too inflexible. He doesn’t know how to live and let live. To compromise.”
How right you were Mama.
I’m doing this for all the other boys. I bend my head to take his soft white penis in my mouth. I’ll hurt him so bad he’ll never be able to do this to anyone else ever again. As I open my mouth in preparation to bite down as hard as I can, the blow to my head is sudden, completely unexpected, and so extremely hard that my head jerks as if it is about to come off my neck. My teeth feel like they are vibrating.
I fall to the ground.
My eyes cannot focus properly. Everything is a blur. The director stands up. The handkerchief floats to the floor near my head. It is so white. So beautifully ironed. Then it all goes black.
I’m blasted awake by pain. Blows, kicks and punches are raining down on me. My head, my face, my body, my legs. They arrive so quickly from so many places. It is impossible to defend myself against them. All I can do is curl up tightly and pray that it will end soon.
“Stop,” a voice orders. Even battered, and in agony, I recognize the voice.
The blows stop.
I don’t move. My whole body is on fire with pain.
A pair of shoes come into my vision. “Now get up, and get out of my office.”
Excruciating pain everywhere. I sit up slowly. Tears are running down my face. Every inch of me screams in pain as I try to stand. I end up groveling on the floor.
“Not such a brave man, are you?” he taunts.
I lift my head and look out of eyes that are blurred with the blood running into them and look around me. There are five boys. I recognize them instantly. The bullies. There is blood-lust in their eyes. They are strung up. They want to finish the job.
I stand up slowly, gritting my teeth with the pain, and limp out of that office. I know I have to find Pavel. I have to protect him. There are monsters in this place. The other kids are already in bed and I walk through the deserted building.
I find Pavel in his bed. He is shivering with terror. When he sees me he starts sobbing uncontrollably.
“Niko, Niko, what have they done to you?”
“It’s nothing. I’ll be all right. It looks worse than it is,” I say through swollen lips. I can hardly see or talk. I need to lie down. I feel weak. I slowly lower myself on my bed. I reach for my blanket and tear a long strip out of it. I tie one end to his wrist and the other to mine.
“What are you doing?” Pavel asks.
“Don’t take this string off no matter what happens. If anybody tries to take you, you wake me up, all right?” I say sternly.
He nods.
I lie down.
“I’m scared,” Pavel says.
“Nothing will happen to you while I am here,” I say.
Nobody comes for Pavel that night, but Sergei comes for me.
“I can’t go,” I whisper.
He shakes his head. “What did you do?”
“I tried to bite him.”
He looks unimpressed. “That was a stupid thing to do. You’re fucking lucky they did not shoot you up with chemicals and send you to the mental asylum or the lying down rooms. The k
ids there never leave their beds. They are tied up and spend all day staring at the ceilings.”