“Agreed,” the four of us reply.
We compose ourselves, go back to the living room, and talk like one of our best friends didn’t just tell us that her time here on earth is limited. We act as though everything is normal as it should be. We don’t talk about cancer or tests or treatments. We pretend for our old friend that everything is how it should be.
Chapter Twelve
Mara 12
* * *
On Seth’s couch, I grip my phone in my hand as I wait for Amelia to call and tell me that she needs me. We all offered to go with her to tell her parents, but she insisted that she do it alone. Reluctantly, we all agreed with the understanding that if she needed us, she would call. That was two hours ago. Not a word from her since.
“Hello,” Seth says, and I turn to look at him, wondering if it’s Amelia or news about her. “Hey, Dad,” he says, and I sigh.
His parents taking Finley today was a blessing. They’ve sent us a few pictures and videos of their day, and my girl looks like she’s being spoiled rotten. I love that for her, and I’m so grateful they are wanting and willing to spend time with her. They’re giving her something I never had, something I haven’t been able to give her. Not until Seth came into our lives.
Seth chuckles, once again drawing my attention. “Sounds like you’ve had a good day, Finny. Thanks, Dad. Sure, we’ll be here.” He ends the call and looks over at me. “They had me on speakerphone. Finny was going on and on about the fishes.” He smiles. “They’re taking her to get ice cream, then they’ll bring her home.”
“Okay.”
“How are you?” he asks.
“I’m hanging in there. I just hate this for her, you know? She’s never going to experience falling in love with a man who deserves her. She’s never going to be a mom, to experience her child growing inside her.” My voice cracks. “She was there for me when I found out I was pregnant. She was in the delivery room when Finley was born. I don’t— I don’t know how to be okay with this.”
“Come here.” He takes a seat next to me on the couch and pulls me into his arms. “I know, babe. It’s hard for me, hell, for all of us to wrap our heads around it. All we can do is be there for her. If she wants to get drunk, we get her drunk. If she wants to jump out of a fucking airplane, we make that shit happen. That’s all we can do. Respect her decision and make these final days the best for her. For all of us.”
“I hate this,” I say, tears forming. “I hate that I’m losing my best friend. I hate that I can’t make her fight to stay with us. Miracles happen every day. What if they come up with a cure, and—” I break off on a sob.
“Baby, if they were close to any kind of breakthrough, the doctors would know about it. I hate it too, but it’s not our decision. We can try and convince her, but in the end, we have to respect her choice.”
“I do, but I don’t,” I say, wiping at my tears. “I know I’m being selfish, but she was my rock. Life after foster care was scary, and I met Amelia, my new roommate, and suddenly it wasn’t. I know it’s hard to explain, but she guided me through life, through pregnancy, delivery, and I was going to do the same for her.”
“We’ll get through this. We’ll get her through this. All of us will.” He holds me close to his chest, and I let myself relax into his warm embrace. “You’re not alone, Mara. Not now, not ever. As long as I have breath in my lungs, you and Finley will never be alone.”
I lift my head to look at him and my heart bursts with love for this man. Sliding my hand behind his neck, I pull his lips to mine and kiss him. He kisses me back, slowly, softly, but I want more. Suddenly, I need all of him. I can’t get close enough. Moving, I straddle his hips and kiss him again. This time he takes control. He tenderly holds my face in his hands and slides his tongue past my lips. I rock my hips and he moans, a sound ripping from deep in his chest. Dropping his hands to my hips, he guides me over his erection.
“More,” I say, kissing across his stubbled cheek and down his neck. My tongue traces the column to his collarbone. He grips my ass.
“Mara,” he warns.
“Make love to me, Seth.”
“Finley.”
“She’s with your parents.”
“They’ll be back soon.”
“Then you better get with it.”
“I need to take my time with you.” He brushes my hair out of my eyes.
“Next time. I need you. I need to feel you. I just need… to be connected to you.”
“You are connected to me.” He places my hand on his chest over his heart.
Something happens. My insides feel like mush as his words and their meaning wash over me. “Make love to me,” I say again. I can see the indecision in his eyes, so I take matters into my own hands.
Literally.
Sliding my hands under the waistband of his sweatpants, I grip his hard length. “You’re ready. I’m ready.”
“Jesus,” he pants, letting his head fall back against the couch.
Pulling his pants back a little further, I stroke him. “Make love to me.”
“Not here.” I yelp when he stands from the couch with me in his arms. “Hold on, Mara.” With long strides and a firm grip on my ass, he carries me down the hall to his room. He kicks the door shut with his foot. “Lock it.” He steps close so I can reach out and turn the lock on the door. “This is going to be fast. I didn’t want it to be this way. Not the first time I feel you.”
“If all we have is now, I want this. I want you.” I can see it in his eyes he’s thinking about Amelia, and that none of us really know how much time we have left. “Even more reason,” I say, I’m sure reading his mind. “I don’t want to wait another minute not sharing this connection with you. The intimacy. I need it. I need you, Seth.”
“Fuck,” he murmurs before standing me on my feet. “Strip.” Not needing to be told twice, I peel off my clothes. Seth kicks off his sweats and boxer briefs. I watch as he reaches behind his neck and pulls off his T-shirt. “Mara,” he growls, and I smile then jump back into action by removing my bra and panties. He reaches into the nightstand and grabs an unopened box of condoms. He tears into it, and condoms fly everywhere, but he manages to snap one. Bringing the small foil packet to his mouth, he tears it open and makes quick work of sliding it along his hard length. He surprises me when he sits on the bed, moving back. “Take what you need from me.”
Stepping between his legs, I run my hands through his hair. One leg then the other, I climb onto the bed, straddling him. Reaching between us, I fist his cock and lower myself onto him. “Ooh,” I say. It’s been too long and he feels so good.
“Fuck,” he whispers harshly.
Opening my eyes, I see him biting down on his bottom lip. His eyes are glued to where our bodies are connected in the most intimate of ways. I lift off him slowly, then slam back down. “There,” I say, repeating the process over and over again.
“Mara,” he grits out.
“I need more. I’m so close, I just… mmm.” I can’t even finish a sentence from the electric current rolling through my veins.
His grip on me tightens, and the next thing I know, I’m flipped over with Seth pistoning in and out of me. Never missing a beat. Over and over he’s relentless, and it’s perfect. My hands grip his biceps as I hold on, enjoying every thrust, every inch he’s willing to give.
“D-Don’t stop. P-Please don’t stop.” I clench down on him just as my orgasm steamrolls through me. Wave after wave of pure ecstasy courses through my veins.
Seth stills suddenly and throws his head back as his own orgasm washes over him. He leans down and presses his sweaty forehead against mine. “That’s not how I imagined it would happen, but fuck if I would change it.”
“Seth?”
“Yeah, babe?”
“I love you.” Life is too short to not tell the ones you love just how much every single day.
Pulling back, he stares into my eyes. “I’m madly in love with you, Mara Reyes. You and your daughter.”
I hear a noise that sounds like a car door and freak. “Shit! We have to clean up.” I push at his chest, making him laugh.
“Way to ruin the moment.”
I stop and pull him back to me, kissing his lips. “I heard every word you said, but this is not how I want your parents or my daughter to find us.”
“Hey, this was your idea.” He kisses the end of my nose then pulls out, taking care of the condom.
Quickly, we clean up in between kisses and get dressed. Seth grabs us both a bottle of water and is just sitting on the couch when there’s a knock at the door. “Come in!” he calls out. “They’re only knocking because they probably assume we were up to something.” He winks.
“That was close,” I whisper. He leans over and kisses me.
“Mommy, Sef!” Finley races into the house. “I saw fishes and yummy ice cweam.”
“You did?” I ask, catching her when she jumps on my lap.
She nods.
“Tell them about the stingray you got to pet.”
“Papaw pet stinwray,” she repeats.
I pause at her calling him papaw. I look over at Seth, who just grins.
“Did Mamaw pet one too?” he asks. It doesn’t even faze him.
“Sorry about that,” Shannon says. “Papaw and Mamaw are easier for her to say than Steve and Shannon. Not to mention, we adore this little angel.”
“Did you tell S—” I trip over my words. “Did you say thank you?” These amazing people have accepted us into their lives, into their son’s life, and it trips me up. The love and support they offer, it’s unlike anything I’ve ever known.
“Anks,” she says, climbing off my lap and rushing to Steve. He lifts her in his arms and gives her a hug.
“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” He kisses her cheek and she returns the favor—only a lot more sloppy.
“We’ll have to go again soon,” Shannon tells her.
I watch as my daughter reaches out for her and effortlessly moves from Steve’s arms into Shannon’s. “Anks,” she says again, wrapping her arms around Shannon’s neck and giving her a big hug before wiggling to be let down. She reaches into a bag that I didn’t notice before and pulls out a stuffed shark. “Sef.” Her little legs carry her back to the couch, and she crawls up on Seth’s lap. “Sark,” she says, holding up the stuffed animal.