I stand to follow her and Reagan holds her hand up. “Ridge, stop. She loves him; this is a hard situation for her. Let her have a minute.
I take a step toward the hall and Tyler stands too. “She needs a minute, Ridge. Think about it. She’s been with you since he was, what, a week or so old? She’s here all the time.”
“She leaves him with you at night, but no one else. She wears her heart on her sleeve, that one,” Reagan adds.
I wait as long as I can stand it before I hand Knox to Reagan and go in search of her. I knock lightly on the bathroom door and she opens it slowly, silent tears rolling down her cheeks.
“I’m sorry. I know I have no right, and I’m trying to control it, I just . . . I’m sorry. I’m excited about going away, I am. I want time with you.”
I step into the small half bath and close the door behind me. Hands on her hips, I lift her to sit on the counter. I pull a tissue out of the box on the back of the toilet and wipe her cheeks.
“You love him, Kendall. I get that. Hell, it causes all kinds of emotions to swirl inside me. He’s a part of me.”
“I do and he is, but he’s such a sweet baby, and I miss him when I’m not with you. I miss you when I’m not with you,” she says, looking down at her lap.
“Baby, look at me.” I wait for her sad blue eyes to meet mine. “We miss you too. Both of us. We love you.” Shit. This is not how I wanted to tell her. I had it all planned out for tonight—to tell her I’ve fallen in love with her, make love to her, candles, a bottle of wine, all that. I had it all planned and I blurt it out in my bathroom.
Real smooth, jackass.
I need to fix this. I cup her face in my hands so she can’t look away. She hasn’t said a word, and that scares the hell out of me. “I’m in love with you. All of me, every second, every hour, every day that I spend with you, that love grows, and I ache until I can see you again.” Her silent tears continue to fall, but she remains silent. “It gets me here,” I say, holding our combined hands over my heart. “Seeing you with my son. The way you love him.”
“I do,” she says, her voice soft. “I love both of you so much, and it’s been fast and perfect, and I wouldn’t change it for anything. I’m just scared that it’s going to go away. That the universe will fight against me, against us being this happy.”
Not gonna lie, I’m choke up. “You love me?” I ask her.
She laughs. “You caught that, did you?”
“I did.” I kiss her tear-covered lips then rest my forehead against hers. “This is real, Kendall. This is me and you and that little boy in there, living life. Who cares if it was fast or what others might think, even the universe? It’s ours, and that’s all that matters.”
Chapter 36
Kendall
I am such a baby. I know he’s not mine, but God does it feel like he is. I love that little boy with everything inside me. If I lose Ridge, I lose Knox, and I think that’s what threw me over the edge. It hit me that those two have become my world in such a small amount of time.
I wouldn’t come back from losing them.
“I’m sure they think I’ve lost my marbles,” I say into Ridge’s chest. He’s holding me close as I sit on the small counter in his bathroom.
He chuckles. “No, they don’t. They get it. They told me to give you time, but I couldn’t stand the thought of you hurting and me not being there to hold you through it.”
I slip my hands under his shirt and feel the defined planes of his back as he holds me. I told him I loved them, both of them, but it’s more than that. It’s as if I’m no longer me without them. Nothing makes sense in my life without seeing the two of them as a part of it. Part of me is fearful Ridge would think I am trying to take Melissa’s place. Don’t get me wrong, it would be an honor to have that little man call me Mom, but that choice will be up to Ridge. Maybe one day in the future.
I would never want to take her place. I like to think that she’s looking down on us, and she’s happy that Ridge found someone who loves them the way I do. I think about my parents’ and my childhood. If it were me looking down on those I loved, I know it would bring me peace.
“You love me?” I ask him, needing to hear it again.
He chuckles. “I more than love you, Kendall. I just don’t have the words to explain it. It’s all-consuming, fierce, and I promise you it’s forever.”
Pulling back, I look up at him, a slow smile spreading across my face. “Let’s go say good-bye to little man and head to the cabin.”
His lips touch mine. “Love you, sweet girl.” He steps back and lifts me from the counter.
I follow him downstairs, dreading seeing Tyler and Reagan after the way I acted, but I should’ve known better. Reagan has Knox, and as soon as she sees us she walks right past Ridge and stops in front of me.
“You okay?” she asks, her voice low. I nod and offer her a teary smile. She surprises me when she pulls me into a one-armed hug. “He loves you. They both do. Embrace it, Kendall.”
I want to tell her that he told me. That I just shared one of the best moments of my life in that little half bath, but I don’t have time before she’s pulling away and handing Knox to me.
“Hey, buddy,” I say, my voice cracking. He grins up at me, and I can literally feel that grin tugging on my heartstrings.
“We’re going to take a minute.” Ridge places his hand on the small of my back. I don’t question him, allowing him to guide us upstairs.
Chapter 37
Ridge
It only took us another twenty minutes before we were loading up and on the road. Kendall and I took Knox up to my room and just cuddled with him. The way she loves my son makes my heart feel as though it’s going to beat right out of my chest. I want to tell her that she has nothing to worry about, that she’s it for me and she’ll never be apart from us, but I don’t want to scare her away.
She’s in my soul, and nothing is going to change that. I want her now and always, and she fucking loves me. I didn’t want to tell her like I did, but in reality it was perfect. She knows it was unplanned, that my love for her bubbled over and I had no choice but to tell her. The fact that she said it back is the cause of the permanent grin on my face.
The two-hour drive to the cabin is quiet. I reached out for her hand as soon as we were in the truck and she latched on, her grip tight the entire trip. I know my girl, and she’s processing tonight and earlier. The fact that we said “I love you” just hours ago.
“Is this it?” she asks.
“Yep, this is it. Have you ever been here?”
“No, although I’ve heard good things. Dad actually brought Mom here for their anniversary one year.”
“Smart man,” I say with a wink. That brings out her blinding smile.
“I think so. My parents’ are amazing.”
“Of course they are. They raised you, didn’t they?”
“Charmer.” She grins.
“Only for you, sweet girl. Only for you.” I grab our bags with complaint from Kendall that she can carry hers. Yeah, not gonna happen. Instead, I hand her the key to the cabin, and she unlocks the door for us.
“Ridge . . .” She stands in the center of the room and turns in a circle. “This place is great. It’s not at all what I expected.”
I laugh at that. “What exactly did you expect?”
“Something more . . . rustic.”
“I didn’t really want to rough it this trip. I have plans that all the amenities will be needed for.”
“Oh, yeah? And what might that be? Painting each other’s toenails?” she sasses.
I drop our bags and stalk toward her, throwing her over my shoulder. “Not even close,” I say, smacking her ass and carrying her off to the bedroom. I toss her on the bed and she’s laughing so hard she can hardly catch her breath.
“Caveman.” She giggles.
“My cabin. My woman,” she says, attempting a manly voice.
“Not my cabin,” I lean down to kiss her neck. She tilts her head, giving me full access. “My woman.” I trace the length of her neck with my tongue, until my lips reach her ear. “My everything,” I whisper, and she shudders. I’m not sure it’s from my words, my touch—hell maybe both. Not that it matters, of course. I have her right where I want her. Two months. Two fucking long-ass months without knowing what it feels like to be inside her. That changes tonight.
I pull back from the kiss and search out those baby blues. What I see surely matches the reflection in my own—passion, want, lust, and love. Tonight has been a long time coming.
Standing to my full height, I lace my fingers through hers and guide her off the bed. She doesn’t hesitate. Once I have her standing before me, I kiss her again.
Slow and steady wins the race. As much as I want to rush through this, to push inside her now, I won’t. I’m going to savor her, cherish the gift of this amazing, beautiful woman.
“Lift your arms,” I whisper against her lips. Again, she doesn’t hesitate, her arms slowly rising into the air. My fingers slide under her shirt, and she shivers when my fingers trace up her bare stomach. I run my hand underneath her bra, tracing a line across her chest against the lacy material. Her eyes are closed, her teeth clamped onto her bottom lip. I’m not only driving her crazy, but me as well. I drag my hands down her soft skin and grip the hem of her shirt. Quickly, I pull it up and over her head. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen her, but this is the first time I know she’s mine, know she loves me, and I’ll get to feel her heat wrapped around me. Reaching down, I adjust my hard cock.
Tilting my head, I latch onto one of her perfectly pert nipples through her bra.
“Ridge,” she moans, and I have to remind myself to go slow.
“Yeah, babe?” Her eyes pop open and glare at me. I wink at her before crossing over and pulling the other tight bud into my mouth. Her hands grip my shoulders, and I welcome the pain of her nails as they dig into my skin. This is real. She’s real, and this is happening. I will gladly bear the markings of our night together.