Five sets of eyes—four large one small—stare back at me. I give my friends the look, the one that says ‘do that shit now.’ Once they’ve left the living room, I walk over to Kendall, sitting on the end of the couch.
“How you two doing?” I ask her. “You want me to take him?”
“No. I mean, not unless you have to. I love holding him. I don’t usually get to snuggle them at work, and this little guy is great at snuggling.” She lifts him so her lips meet his little cheek.
I should be thinking about germs, about how this girl who I’ve seen less than a handful of times since high school is loving on my son. Instead, I’m thinking about how lucky my little man is to get to feel her soft lips against his skin.
I’m truly fucked. I need sleep or a night out or something. This is not me. I’ve lost my damn mind.
“No, you’re good. I just don’t want to take advantage. You’re my guest, after all.” I reach out and tuck a loose curl behind her ear. Her hair feels like silk.
“No, you’re not, I like holding him, if that’s okay.”
“Yeah, sweet girl. That’s more than okay.”
“So, what are we watching?” Tyler asks.
He’s leading the pack into the living room. Fuck, I forgot that I need to warn them all away from Kendall.
I toss the remote to Tyler and settle in next to Kendall. I can use the excuse that she has Knox. At least that’s what I’m telling myself—and them—if they ask.
“I think the ladies should pick,” Reagan chimes in.
“I agree,” Dawn adds.
Tyler smirks. “What about you, Kendall?”
She looks up at him then down to Knox. “I’m good with whatever.”
“You’re hogging my nephew’s cuddles.” Reagan mock-glares at her.
“Hey, you left me here, that’s your own fault. I’m not giving him up until Daddy says it’s bedtime.”
“He’s hard to resist,” Reagan says. “Come on, ladies first and all that,” she says to Tyler.
He takes the seat next to her on the loveseat and pats her head, handing her the remote.
Seth and Kent sit on the floor, kicked back against the chair they both insisted Dawn sit in. That leaves Mark to take the seat beside me. I visibly relax knowing they won’t be next to Kendall. Irrational, I know, but fuck if I can make it stop.
Chapter 16
Kendall
Baby Knox is sleeping soundly in my arms. Every once in a while, his little lip sticks out, and it’s the most adorable thing ever. I try to keep my attention on him and the movie, but I’m not really sure what’s going on. I may be looking at the screen, but really I’m just thinking about Ridge. About how close he’s sitting to me. How his thigh rubs against mine. How incredible he smells. How, for the first time in months, my body is reacting to a man. I thought Cal had ruined me, broke my desire to ever want to go down the path of dating ever again.
“You’re good with him,” Ridge says, just low enough so only I can hear.
I’m lusting after him, and I’m hit with a feeling of guilt. He just lost his . . . girlfriend? Wife? Fiancée? And here I am thinking inappropriate thoughts about how it feels to sit close to him. He’s feeling out how to live without her, how to raise his son without her.
There is something seriously wrong with me.
“He’s such a good baby.”
“That’s what they tell me, but I have nothing to gauge it on.” He chuckles. “To me, he is. He hardly ever cries. He was fussy today, but it was like he just wasn’t feeling it, you know?”
I nod. We all have those days, even babies.
“I’m proud of you, brother,” Reagan says.
Apparently, we weren’t talking as softly as we thought.
“You know him so well already. You’re a good dad, Ridge,” she says, a sad smile on her lips.
“You going to hog him all night? Can I take a turn?” Mark asks me. I look to Ridge for permission. Not that he would care that his friends are holding his kid, but it’s not my place. Besides, I did vow to not give him up until bedtime. I was just messing with Reagan, but I wouldn’t complain.
He nods. “Don’t corrupt my son, Marcus.” He grins.
Slowly, I slide to the edge of the couch and stand. I feel Ridge’s hand on the small of my back, helping steady me. I don’t look at him, afraid he’ll see that as each second ticks by, I grow more attracted to him. Instead, I stop in front of Mark, lean down, and transfer Knox into his arms. I return to my seat next to Ridge, my body even more aware of him now that I don’t have a baby to cuddle, to distract me.
I focus on the movie and try like hell to block out the feeling of his thigh against mine.
The night carries on, and we eat, watch movies, and even play Battle of the Sexes. The guys all take their turns holding Knox, and let me tell you, it’s a sight. There is nothing like the image of a man loving on a tiny baby. It makes you have all kinds of thoughts. From all the warm tingling to ‘I want to have your babies, let’s start practicing.’ From what I could tell, Dawn and Reagan were just as affected as I was. Although, Reagan seems to keep her attention on Tyler most of the time. I need to ask her about that later.
Ridge yawns, and I immediately feel guilty. He’s been through so much in the last couple of weeks, and here we are invading his space. He should be resting while Knox is.
“We should get going,” Reagan says. She must have noticed as well.
I stand. “Thank you for having us,” I say to Ridge.
He stands, as well as the others, everyone stretching from sitting through the movie. “It was nice to hang out and have adult conversation.”
That causes all of us to laugh.
“I’ll walk you guys out.” I watch as he lowers Knox into his Pack ‘n Play and follows us to the front door. “Drive safe,” he yells out to the guys, who are already loading up in what appears to be Kent’s Jeep. All of them except Tyler.
“Kendall, a pleasure,” Tyler says with a wink.
“Always.” I chuckle.
“Ladies, sorry about the change of plans. Call me this week and we can set up something,” Reagan says.
“Definitely, not that this change was a bad thing.” Dawn fans herself with her hands. She has a flare for the dramatic at times.
“Brother, see you later.” Reagan stands on her tiptoes and kisses his cheek before she and Dawn head to the car.
I step off the porch to follow them when Ridge grabs my hand. I stop and look over my shoulder at him.
“Thank you, Kendall, for tonight . . . I mean, for your help with Knox,” he rambles.
I smile. “I didn’t do anything but snuggle the little guy. It wasn’t a hardship, trust me. Thanks for letting us invade your space.”
He nods, but doesn’t let go of my hand. I turn my body to face sideways and look down where his large fingers are wrapped around my wrist. My pulse is pounding from his touch. I wonder if he can feel it racing. With a gentle squeeze, he releases me, and I don’t stick around. As soon as he lets go, I race down the steps and climb into the backseat of the car. Luckily for me, Tyler has been talking to the girls by his truck, and they didn’t even notice that I wasn’t behind them.
As I try to slow my thundering heart, I realize how wrong these feelings are. He’s mourning. I’m going to Hell for the thoughts in my head about Ridge Beckett.
The blare of my alarm clock wakes me up way too early. I haven’t slept well the last two nights, thoughts of Ridge keeping me up. One minute, I’m feeling guilty for lusting after him, considering his situation and
the next, I’m imagining what those big hands would feel like running over my body.
I have to stop by my grandparents’ place before heading to work, hence the reason I’m up at the ass crack of dawn. They left yesterday for Florida, and the remodel of their house starts today. What my dad thinks I can do about anything the construction company may need is beyond me, but he thinks it’s necessary, so I’ll be there.
Yesterday, Dawn and I spent the majority of the day at my parents.’ We grilled out and just caught up. Dawn isn’t close to her family, so anytime mine invite us over, she’s always willing. I’m glad they all get along so well.
Just as I’m getting ready to walk out the door, she emerges from her room. My best friend is not a morning person.
“Have a good day, dear,” I say over my shoulder. I don’t stick around long enough for her to throw anything at my head.
It’s a warm morning for May, so I open my sunroof, put on my shades, and crank up the radio. I arrive about twenty minutes earlier than Dad said I needed to and make myself at home, diving into my muffin I brought from the house. It’s so calm and peaceful here. I hate that they’re selling it, but I understand; they need something low maintenance like a condo that will allow them to travel back and forth with limited worry.
At seven thirty on the dot, I hear the sound of a diesel engine. Right on time.
I step out onto the front porch to greet them and stop in my tracks. In the driveway sits two trucks adorned with the Beckett Construction logo on each side.
Ridge.
The man of my dreams—literally—climbs out of the driver’s seat, clipboard in hand. Tyler, following behind him, glances up and notices me.
“Kendall!” he yells out my name.
This causes Ridge to stop walking and look up. Tyler steps around him and continues toward me. “You live here?” Tyler asks, leaning down to kiss my cheek.
“Uh . . . no. My . . . my grandparents live here.”