This thing with Brody feels incredibly different, but that just means it will hurt hard if I’m wrong, doesn’t it?
My pulse is firing when we turn the corner down his block—and it skyrockets when I see who is standing in the driveway of Brody’s house.
It’s my mother.
She’s leaning against the bumper of her Jetta, studying her nails. Tan, but visibly exhausted in a teal Cancun sweatshirt and pajama pants. I’ve arrived home to this scene more times than I can count and there used to be a spark of joy and hope when she came back. This time, though, there is nothing.
At first.
Dread starts to creep in slowly—and I realize in that moment how attached I’ve gotten to Brody in only a single day. Stupid. That was a stupid thing to do. My mother is home now—his wife! He’ll have no choice but to set me aside. Abandon me. It’s even the right thing to do, isn’t it? I’m the interloper here. I’m the betrayer.
“Goddammit,” Brody mutters through his teeth. “I don’t believe this.”
“It’s fine. I understand.”
His sharp gaze zips to mine. “You understand what?”
“That you have to…that this c-can’t happen again.” My throat feels like it’s closing up. I don’t believe it, but I think I fell in love with this man. I was right, this hurts worse than any other time. He can’t keep me. No one ever keeps me and this time is the worst it’s ever felt. A hundred times worse. I yearn for the safety of juvenile hall where they could lock me in and I could lock out the hurt and the people who did it to me.
“London, I’m going to explain everything,” Brody says firmly, pulling the Range Rover up to the curb and putting it into park. I look out the passenger window toward my mother, whose expression is blank, her face obscured by the raindrops that are beginning to land on the windows of the vehicle. “Stay right here, okay? Do not move until I come back.”
I nod, even though I have no intention of listening.
My whole life has been about outrunning the hurt, trying to get as far as I can away from it before it sticks to me. This time, it’s already stuck, but I’ll keep going and hope my feelings for this man go away.
As soon as Brody gets out of the car and approaches my mother, I throw myself out of the passenger door and book it across the street, holding my ripped T-shirt together and cutting through the darkness. Brody shouts my name, alarmed, but I continue to sprint, cursing my choice of flip flops from this morning. The sky opens up overhead and the rain gets worse, dampening the asphalt, thunder rolling in the distance. Tears are blurring my vision, making the streetlights look like little balls of fire. I ignore the burning in my lungs and keep running, needing to get away from the vision of Brody walking away from me, just like everyone else.
There’s a park at the end of the street. Blindly, I run toward it, hoping to find somewhere to take cover long enough to think of a plan. But I’ve only gotten halfway through the park when I’m dragged to a stop by an immovable object. An arm bands around my middle and I’m elevated off the ground, legs still moving in mid-air, my back meeting a hard chest.
“I told you not to move until I came back,” Brody bellows above my head. “Don’t you ever run from me again. You could have gotten hurt, London.”
“Put me down,” I scream, fighting his hold, panicking. “Please don’t make me come back. Please just let me go!”
“What part of forever don’t you understand?” He stomps us toward an overhang of trees, putting us out of sight from the houses on the other side of the street. “I am never letting you go. Don’t even say those words out loud.”
“You have to. She’s back and now you have t-to leave me. Or move on.” A hiccup wracks me. “It happens every single time and you’re not going to be any different.”
“Oh, I’m not?” He sets me down on the dampening earth and spins me around, taking my shoulders in his big hands. “I know you’ve been hurt, baby, and that you’re scared. But you need to trust me.”
I’m already shaking my head. “No. No—”
“Dammit, we were supposed to have time.” He squeezes his eyes closed. “I thought the money I gave your mother would keep her gone, but I underestimated how irresponsible she is.”
“Money?” I sniff hard, wiping tears and rain off my cheeks. “I don’t understand. What are you talking about?”
Brody sighs unevenly, his hands dropping away from my shoulders. He paces away, hands on hips and comes back. And I gasp when the moonlight catches his face, because…he’s more intense than I’ve ever seen him. His eyes are so penetrating that my pulse tumbles end over end. “I paid her to leave so I’d have you alone when you came home. All to myself. I met your mother in a bar. She was going on and on to the bartender about needing some medical procedure, a cist removed, but she didn’t have the insurance coverage. It wasn’t any of my business. I wasn’t interested in the conversation. But then…she unlocked her phone and I saw you on the screen.” He takes a step closer. “God help me, I was done. I knew you. I looked into your eyes and you were mine.”