“I’m not going to forgive him just because you beat him.”
“I suppose we’ll see, won’t we?” That’s all the warning I get before she brings the cane across the bottom of my foot. There’s a beat almost like shock and then pain bows my back and I groan. Even though I trust Ursa not to do true damage to me, caning the bottom of the feet is agonizing. She stripes down my left foot before moving to the right.
I stop worrying about not deserving Zuri’s forgiveness. I stop worrying about what the future will bring for me and Ursa. The pain washes everything away, leaving me to float in a curious numbness that always comes once a pain-based scene reaches a certain point. This is what I crave. I sink into it gratefully, wholeheartedly.
Awareness of the room comes back in waves. Ursa standing at my feet, idly rubbing her thumbs over the cane stripes, her expression hot enough to make my body respond on instinct. I start to sit up, but she presses her nail to the arch of my foot. A tiny pain, but enough to make me remember myself.
Zuri?
She’s sitting exactly where Ursa left her, tears running down her face. Tears…for me?
Maybe she does still care, after all.Chapter 20ZurielleForgiveness isn’t a simple thing. It’s fluid and imprecise and often beyond me. But then, I’ve never been in a position where my forgiveness was required for something more serious than a petty fight with one of my sisters. Growing up as the youngest of five meant that I was constantly being railroaded by my older sisters. If I had something they wanted, it ceased to be mine and became theirs instead. Sometimes one of the many nannies we went through during my childhood would step in. Giving forgiveness in those cases was easy. No matter how we fight, I love my sisters.
Maybe it really is that easy this time, too.
I thought my feelings were simple once I learned the truth. Now I’m not so sure.
I stare down at Alaric laid out naked on the table. A fine sheen of sweat covers his skin and he’s panting as if he just ran a long distance. What Ursa did hurt him, but there’s no denying he liked it. I’ve never seen his expression so relaxed as it is now.
Not to mention his cock. It’s hard and curved against his stomach, and has been since the first strike.
“What are you thinking, darling?”
I drag my gaze away from Alaric and look at Ursa. She’s fastened her locs at the top of her head, keeping them out of her way, and the hairstyle leaves her gorgeous face on full display. I could spend hours kneeling at her feet, just looking at her. She’s worn clothes most of the time we’ve been together, and it feels like this is the first time I’m really getting to appreciate her fully.
She’s extremely curvy. Breasts and hips and ass and thighs, her stomach soft in a way that makes me fist my hands to keep from reaching for her. Her medium-brown skin glistens with sweat, but I get the impression that she could spend all night beating Alaric without pause. That’s how strong she is. Something deep inside me quivers at the thought of having all the formidable dominance directed at me while she holds a method of delivering pain in her hand.
Ursa chuckles a little. “I asked you a question, Zurielle.”
I clear my throat, my gaze dropping to her breasts before I force myself to meet her eyes. “I’m sorry, Mistress. I can’t remember the question.”
She laughs again. “I suppose I can’t be too mad since it’s the sight of me that gave you temporary amnesia.”
“You’re beautiful.” I’m not supposed to speak out of turn, but I find I can’t go another minute without telling her exactly how much I want her. “I would like to make you come again.”
Her lips curve. “I know. And you will.” She snaps her fingers. “Now. What were you thinking while you watched me beat Alaric?”
I don’t want to answer. I really don’t. But the glint in her dark eyes tells me that she won’t allow me to change the subject or dodge the question. I pull the blanket more firmly around my shoulders and stare at the floor. “I was thinking that there are a multitude of sins I will forgive a person if I love them.” It feels like she’s ripped open a deep wound, and I can’t help finishing bitterly. “It seems to be a character flaw of mine.”
“Is it?”
I can hear Ursa moving, but I only get a glimpse of her out of the corner of my eye. I swallow hard. “Yes, Mistress. It’s impossible to see it as anything but that.”
“Darling, you’re hurt and looking at this through a bitter shade of glass.” She stops next to me and sifts her fingers through my hair. I close my eyes, my body relaxing into her touch even as I wonder when it became such an instant response for me. Ursa keeps stroking me. “You’re soft. Others might see that as a sin, but it’s not. It’s an asset. Cling to that as long as you possibly can, because you’ll lose part of yourself when you let the world make you hard.”