“I don’t know.” There’s an ache in my chest. An actual physical ache at just the thought of being away from him for a night.
“Come on,” Mom says. “We raised you and your brother. He’ll be just fine.”
“But what if he needs me?”
“Colton,” my mom whispers. “I’m so proud of you. You’re such a good daddy, but even daddies need a break. You’ve been working on the house, working long hours at the gym. Chase said you’ve been working on planning your classes at home at night. We don’t want you to burn out.”
“He’s my son. I could never,” I say, my voice louder and obviously defensive. I know they mean well, but after the way his mother just left him, it’s important to me that he knows I’ll always be there.
“Son, I know what you’re thinking,” Dad says. “He knows you love him. It’s okay for you to take time for yourself. When you and Chase were little, Grandma and Grandpa did that for us too. We’re going to do it for you and for Chase and Gabby. Let us have this time with him.”
“That means I don’t see him until tomorrow sometime.” That’s seems like forever away from my son.
“And you’ll both live,” Mom says before leaning down to kiss Milo on the back of his hand.
Before I can answer, I hear her soft voice. “Oh, sorry to interrupt. Colton, just let me know when you’re ready,” Hollis says from behind me.
“Hollis, it’s nice to see you,” Mom tells her. “You’re not interrupting a thing. In fact, maybe you can help me. We’re trying to convince Colt to let us take Milo for the night so he can have a break.”
“I don’t need a break from my son,” I tell anyone who will listen.
“I’ve been trying to get you to let us keep him so you can go out and have some fun. That’s not working, so at least give us this. If your class runs over, you don’t have to worry about rushing home so we can get home. I promise if we need you, we’ll call you.”
“We won’t need you,” Dad chimes in.
“Help me out here, Hollis.” I turn to look at her.
She shrugs. “He’s their grandson, and it’s good for all parents to take a step back now and then. Ask anyone who has kids. Your time is important.”
“How do you know that?” I ask her.
“Women’s intuition,” Mom speaks up, answering for her.
Hollis steps up and places her hand on my forearm. “He’ll be okay, Colton. They love him as much as you do.” Her words are softly spoken, and they calm me instantly.
“You’re right.” I nod. “Let me go pack him a bag.”
“No need. We have everything he needs. Diapers, formula, bottles, clothes, all that stuff. We will take the diaper bag just in case we need something between here and home,” Mom says.
“He needs his blue blanket. He likes to snuggle with it when he takes his nighttime bottle. He keeps it up close to his face and falls right to sleep.”
Dad nods. “We’re going to need that then.” He chuckles. “Aren’t we, buddy? You excited to stay with Grandma and Grandpa?” he asks my son. Not that Milo can answer him.
“I’ll be right back.” I rush to Milo’s room and grab his favorite blanket. I stop on my way out the door and turn and look at his empty bed. I don’t know why I’m having such a hard time with this. He’s in good hands, and I know that. I just want those hands to be mine. Always.
In the living room, I find my parents, Hollis, and Milo, all laughing. Hollis leans into Milo, who is still in my dad’s arms and says, “Boo,” and the little bugger gives her a toothy grin. “He likes you,” I say, startling her—if the way she whirls around to look at me is any indication.
“He’s a cutie, Colton. You should be proud.”
“I am. Aren’t I, little man? You get your good looks from Daddy, right?” I ask playfully. Not that his mother wasn’t pretty, she was, but I’m not much on talking about the woman who threw her son away. I still have mixed feelings about her. I’m grateful she got him to my family, but still can’t understand how she could just give him up. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
“We should get going so you can be on your way.” Dad hands Milo to me, and I kiss him, all over his tiny little face.
“I’m going to miss you. Don’t be giving Grandma and Grandpa a hard time.” I put him up to my shoulder and give him a gentle squeeze. His baby scent wraps around me, and I feel as though I could cry. In fact, if Hollis were not standing right here with us, I just might have. “Why is this so hard?” I ask, my voice gravelly with emotion.