I needed time away, so I came home to Jackson, Tennessee, to spend some time with my parents. It was there I met and fell in love with your mother—all in the span of two weeks’ time. As I sit here writing this letter almost twenty-five years later, my heart still aches for her. She was and will forever be the love of my life.
I’m sure you’re wondering what happened to her? I’ll get to that, but first I need to tell you that I loved her. She was my heart and soul, and she loved you. She was so happy to be a mother. She talked about not being able to wait to hold you in her arms. You were her greatest accomplishment in life.
We had two incredible weeks together before I had to go back to my real life. Only what was once my real life was now fake. Nothing felt right, and my heart, it missed her. Two months went by, and your mother called to tell me about you. I immediately told Tillie that I wanted a divorce. I told her about your mother, Amber, and about you. She went crazy. She threatened to kill herself, and even tried to do so. I didn’t know what to do. I was stuck, and your mother, she told me to get her through it. That we had a lifetime to be together. I wasn’t sure it was the right choice, but that’s what I did. I stayed. I took Tillie to see her therapist and went to counseling with her. All the while, admitting openly to her and her physicians that I didn’t love her, that I would never forgive her, and that I wanted a divorce.
Fast forward a few months, and I get the call that your mother was in labor. I was going to be a father. I was three hours away and told her I would be there as soon as I could. Stubborn as she was, she thought she could drive herself to the hospital. Her best friend was out of town, and she had no one. My parents, your grandparents were in Florida for the winter, and her parents, well, she never had a good relationship with them. So she said she’s fine. She’d call me when she got there.
Two hours later, I was on the road, driving way past the speed limit to get to her. To get to you when my phone rang. Her best friend, Georgia, was on the other end crying hysterically. She was her emergency contact. There’d been an accident. She didn’t have to tell me for me to know that it was bad. I could hear it in the tone of her voice, and I could feel it in my gut.
By the time I made it to the hospital, I was too late. Her injuries were too bad. She didn’t make it, but they were able to save my daughter. You, Delaney. They were able to save you.She’s crying so hard that she hands me the letter. “Please, keep reading.”
“Are you sure? Maybe we should take a break?”
“No, please, Kent. I need to hear it, but I can’t see the pages.” Her face is drenched with tears, and her eyes rimmed red and swollen.
I hate seeing her like this, but I’d do anything for her. Standing, I move from the edge of the bed, to fully sit next to her and pull her into my arms as I continue to read.The love of my life was gone, and I was left with a piece of her, but I was lost. So damn lost. Tillie, she was there for me. She told me how sorry she was. She was sincere, and when I brought you home to the house that I shared with her, she helped me. She taught me to change a diaper and how to burp you. She went from ready to end her life to living. Living for you. You were a constant reminder that I stepped out on our marriage, yet she never held that against you. Not back then. She fell in love with you and presented me with a proposition. She raises you as her own. She cried for hours, telling me how sorry she was. How she always wanted to be a mother. I didn’t forgive her, I couldn’t, but if she hadn’t done what she did, I never would have met your mother, and in turn, never would have had you. I know it sounds twisted but, in a way, she gave me you.
I didn’t forgive her, but in time, I learned to live with the choices we had made. Neither of us was without our mistakes. I cheated on her. Regardless of what she did to me, that wasn’t okay. We agreed to our new situation and lived our lives as best as we could.