I nod like I’m supposed to, hiding the pain that slices through me. It’s been almost five years, and no one has even come close to Delaney in my eyes. I’ve accepted my fate as always being the cool uncle and never the daddy. I glance down at Ryder, who’s staring up at me. My heart squeezes in my chest as I think about what I lost. What I fucked up. Maybe one day my heart will heal, but I’m not holding my breath.
“That’s my baby brover,” Finley says, pointing at Ryder.
“I know. You know what else I know?” I lower my voice. She shakes her head and I crook my finger, telling her silently to come closer. She glances at Mara and then leans into me. “I know that you’re the best big sister in the world.”
Her eyes light up and she grins. “That’s whats my daddy tells me too.” Her eyes are wide as she jumps off her mom’s lap and rushes to Seth. He sees her coming and bends down to catch her. He hugs her, places a kiss on her cheek, and then goes back to whatever conversation he and Mark are in.
I envy my brothers. I’m not going to say I’m jealous, because I couldn’t be happier for all four of them. They have wives who are their perfect counterpart and their kids… they’re little versions of them.
The rest of the kids wander away, and I’m left sitting on the floor with Mara. “What’s going on?”
I turn to look at her. “Nothing. Why?” Lies.
“You just seem like there’s something bothering you.”
That’s something else. The guys and I have been best friends since we were kids—brothers by bond and lifelong friendship. Their wives, aside from Reagan, are new additions to our brood, but they are all intuitive as fuck. There is no hiding anything from any of them. “Nope.”
“Right.” She chuckles. “When you’re ready to talk about it, you have a room full of people who are willing to listen.”
I know she’s right. The sad part about that is that I had that same core group, minus the wives all those years ago. I should have fessed up to what I had with Delaney. I should have never blown her off to have drinks with the guys. They would have understood. I was young, dumb, and too big of an idiot to realize what I was throwing away. I can tell you this. If by some chance one day I’m lucky enough to find that again… If I’m lucky enough to find that one person who captures my body, my heart, and my mind, I’m going to show her, tell her, and love the fuck out of her for as long as I live. I won’t make the same mistake twice.* * *I’ve been dreading this day since Ridge announced that we would be working on the Nottingham Estate. Luckily with the holidays, I had a few days to get my head in order. Well, that was the plan, but pulling up to the house, my body stiffens. I’m immediately taken back to the day I drove up the winding driveway, climbed out of my truck, and knocked on the door. Tillie Nottingham answered and turned her nose up at me.
“Yes, can I help you?”
“Yes, ma’am. I was wondering if you could give me Delaney’s address.”
“Why on heaven’s earth would I do that?” She scoffs and glances down at my dirty boots. I’ve just left the jobsite after a long day and came straight here.
“She’s not answering her phone. I need to speak to her.” It’s been weeks since I’ve talked to her.
“Oh, dear, you didn’t think she was serious about you, did you?” She pauses, and the expression on my face must say it all. “Oh.” She slaps her hand over her mouth. “You did. That’s so… sweet. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, Delaney got back together with an old flame. They’re moving in together, so you see, you showing up on her doorstep isn’t a good idea.”
“If you could just tell me where I can find her.” I’m kicking myself in the ass for never going to visit her at school.
“Delaney has moved on, and there’s hope of a grandchild in my future. She doesn’t want to see you, Kenton. Please leave.” It’s with those parting words she shuts the door in my face.
“Kent.” Mark waves his hand in front of my face. “You planning on working today, or you just want to sit in the truck and freeze your ass off?”
“Fuck off,” I murmur, and he laughs as we climb out of the truck. Looking up at that front door, the same door that was slammed in my face, I know I gave up too easily. I should have turned over every stone, knocked on every damn door at that college until I found her. What’s that saying, I wish I would have known then what I know now? Yeah, that one hits the nail on the head.