When she was gone, I looked at Derek differently, like saying goodbye was so damn hard even though I would see him in the morning.
He wore the same look. “I had a nice weekend.”
“Yeah, we did too.”
He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly, fingers digging into the material of my sweater. He squeezed me before he pulled back and kissed me goodbye. “Love you.”
“Love you too.”The holiday weekend was over, and we went back to our old routine.
It was such a magical weekend that I didn’t want it to end, the three of us spending time together every single day. It made me want to live together, to have us all together as a family. But Christmas was coming up, and we’d probably have more time together then.
Lizzie lay on the couch in front of the TV, but instead of watching it, she was reading the second book in Derek’s series. Her ankles were crossed and propped on a pillow, her long hair across another pillow behind her.
I sat in the armchair and watched her—my whole world. “It’s good, huh?”
She turned to me, slightly surprised, as if she’d been so deep in the story until I interrupted her. “Yeah. Now I get why he’s sold so many books and why his books are in the store windows. Sometimes I see people at school reading them.”
“That’s really cool.”
“Yeah.” She went back to her book. After a few minutes, she turned to me. “So when you and Derek get married, are we going to live in his penthouse?”
“I don’t know. Why?”
“Because how sick would it be to live in a penthouse?” she said incredulously. “I’ve only seen the living room and dining room, but that space is bigger than our apartment.”
“Yeah, it’s nice.”
“That means we’d be rich, right?”
“Lizzie.”
“What?” she asked. “I’m just asking…”
“Don’t say things like that to Derek, alright?”
“I don’t, but why?”
“It’s just inappropriate. I’m not with Derek because he’s rich. I’m with him because…he’s perfect.”
“Yeah, he’s pretty cool.” She turned back to her book.
“And he’s not cool because he’s rich, right?”
“No,” she said quickly. “He’s cool because he’s a good guy.” She started reading again.
This time, I just stared at her in silence, savored this moment, enjoying this time in my life…because it was pretty perfect.A week later, Derek had an abrupt change of attitude. It came out of nowhere.
It had nothing to do with that old friend he didn’t want to see, as far as I knew. He hadn’t done anything with Ryan or participated in wedding stuff, so I had no idea what provoked him to become so distant.
He didn’t do anything too egregious, but he just seemed…distracted.
Even when he was working, he seemed disconnected. He’d sit at his workbench, and instead of working on his model or his laptop, his eyes just stared blankly into the distance…at nothing.
It wasn’t like him at all.
I came to his desk and stood across from him.
His eyes continued their lifeless stare, like he didn’t even notice me.
“Derek?”
He snapped back into reality, and his eyes focused on my face.
“You’ve been preoccupied all day. Everything okay?”
His coldness remained, the distant look still in his eyes. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He turned back to his laptop and went back to work like nothing happened.
“Is it the rocket?” It was supposed to launch in just ten days, so he was probably stressed about the success of the test mission.
“No,” he snapped. “I said I’m fine.”
“Well, you clearly aren’t fine—”
“Just stop.” His anger sliced through the air and brought me to silence. He dropped his gaze, his jaw clenched tightly. He took a few breaths before he spoke again, doing his best not to scream at me. “I’m just not having a good day, alright?”
It hurt to see him react this way when we were so happy just yesterday…and the day before that. “I thought we didn’t do this anymore.”
“So, I can’t have a bad day once in a while?” he snapped. “I’m a human being who has shitty days sometimes, alright? Just leave it alone.”
Instead of escalating the situation by snapping back, I let it go. I turned around and walked off, even though that was so hard to do. I didn’t care if he wasn’t his usual self; I just hated how his immediate response was to shut me out rather than talk to me.
But I walked away anyway and headed to the corporate office because now I needed space myself.It was toward the end of the day when I got a text from a number I hadn’t seen before.
Emerson, it’s Deacon. I texted Derek this morning and got no response—and he always texts me back. So, I wanted to let you know that he’s probably having a hard day because today is the anniversary of his mother’s death. Some years he’s better, and some years he’s worse. So, I have a feeling what kind of year this one is. Just a heads-up.