“I can hook you up with more.”
She beamed.
I went into the kitchen, maneuvered behind my mom, and grabbed a couple without her knowing, then came back to the living room. I opened my palm so Lizzie could take them.
“Sick. The moose is my favorite.” She dropped them into her drink and watched them start to melt. “Thanks, Derek.”
“Sure thing, Liz.” I held the mug between my hands and watched my family mingle with one another and Emerson.
“Why do you always get weird when people ask you about your job?”
I turned back to her. “Weird?”
“Yeah. It’s like you don’t want to talk about it.”
I shrugged. “I feel like I’m always the center of attention. There’re a lot of other people who deserve praise besides me. I know my parents are proud of my siblings too, but because my job is so unique, I get more praise than I deserve.”
“I thought people would love all that attention.”
“I’m sure most people do. But I’ve noticed that people who brag are usually insecure. People who constantly have to tell you how rich or awesome they are tend to be not what they seem. So, if you’re ever stuck around someone who brags a lot, stay away. And don’t be a braggart.”
She nodded. “I guess that makes sense.”
“And at the end of the day, your success shouldn’t be your entire identity. You’re a person like everyone else. You shit—I mean you poop like everyone else.”
Lizzie chuckled at my slipup.
“So, I guess that’s why I’m weird about it. When I’m out and about, sometimes it’s hard to tell if people actually like me for me, or if they just know I’m Derek Hamilton. A real friend will ride in the back of a taxi with you if your limo breaks down, but if people see you in a limo everywhere you go, they’re just going to want to jump in your limo.”
“Mom seems to like you for you.”
“Yeah, she does.” A slight smile moved on to my lips, and I was grateful I was out of that black hole and looking at the sun. “Have you had a good time? I know my family kinda smothered you in the beginning. They were just excited to meet you.”
“Your family is super nice…like, really nice. No one is ever that excited to see me, not even Mom.”
“I doubt that, Liz.”
“I mean people I don’t know. Obviously, Grandma and Grandpa are always thrilled, but that’s about it. And I never get presents unless it’s my birthday or Christmas, and they just gave me stuff. It’s nice.”
“Yeah, they’re cool.”
“You’re lucky to have parents like that.”
“You’re lucky too, Liz. Your mom is the best.” She juggled every role as a single person, and she still managed to spend enough time with her daughter.
“Yeah, she is pretty cool. But now that I see what it’s like to have two parents, it makes me realize how nice that is.”
I stared at her, unsure what she meant. Did she mean seeing my parents together? Or was she referring to me? I never acted like her father, so I wasn’t entirely sure. “Do you think about your dad around the holidays?”
She scrunched up her nose. “No. Mom told me he and his family didn’t want to deal with the responsibility of a kid when they were still in high school. I get it, but that didn’t stop my mom from raising me on her own and being awesome at it. What kind of excuse do they really have? Look at your parents. They’re so loving and nice toward me, and they don’t even know me. I just mean… I don’t know it’s…it’s stupid.” She looked down into her mug and stared at the marshmallows floating over the surface.
I could just leave it alone, let the subject fade and disappear. But I didn’t. “You can tell me, Liz.”
She lifted her chin and looked at me again, hesitation in her eyes. “I guess I just…like having you around. It feels like I have a dad. And I never felt like I needed a dad, but having you makes me realize how nice it is. You know, someone to help me with my homework, someone who teaches me stuff, makes me feel good about myself, someone who takes care of my mom when no one ever takes care of her…”
Stunned, all I could do was stare at her. I told her we could be friends, but the relationship had deepened for her into something more. She let me in, trusted me, saw me as a part of her family. I didn’t even try to make that happen…and it just did.
She continued to look at me like she hoped I would say something so she wouldn’t feel stupid.
I did one of those long obnoxious pauses that I wished I wouldn’t do, but they were necessary to think of the right thing to say. “You know, when Emerson told me she had a daughter, I was scared. I don’t have experience with kids. I don’t know anything about them. But then we started working together, and I came to develop a deep fondness for you, pride whenever you excel, protectiveness when someone treats you less than the way you deserve. I’ve come to care deeply for you, Liz. And not because I love your mother, but…because I love you.”