“I don’t want to hear the same bullshit that you guys keep spouting. I don’t want to hear about you as a group. Stop apologizing for them. If they want to make things right, they can come and make the effort themselves. I want to hear about your part in all of this.”
He nods and presses his lips into a tight line as he pulls up at a red light. “I’m sorry, Ocean. You’re my best friend, my little fucking sister and I let you down. It was a matter of either coming clean or going against the boys. We all sat down and agreed that we wouldn’t say anything and then it got to the point where it had gone too far to come clean. You’ve got to know that we never intended on hurting you. That’s the last thing I ever wanted.”
“And what about the cameras. You had a million opportunities to tell me about that.”
His eyes drop and he studies his steering wheel way too closely. “I kept telling myself that it was to protect you, a way that we could watch out for you. I wasn’t on board at first and then that fucker put his hands on you and I climbed on board pretty fucking fast after that.”
“So, not one of you gave a shit about violating my privacy?”
“Of course we did, O. It felt so fucking wrong and when I realized that the threat from the Jude kid was gone, I wanted it out. I was planning on coming down here and stripping the place myself and then things got serious between you and Colton and that’s when everything took a turn. I didn’t realize what Nic had done at first but when I figured it out … fuck, babe. I’m so fucking sorry.”
I glance over at him, watching as he navigates through the streets with his heart on his sleeve. Tears begin welling in my eyes and I instantly hate myself for it. “You were a brother to me, Sebastian. You and Nic. We’ve always been the closet and all I see is a list of betrayals that just keeps getting longer and longer. Do you have any idea how bad that hurts?”
“I know.”
“Imagine if I did that to you.”
I watch as the guy that I’ve always seen as larger than life gets smaller and smaller, completely deflated until he finally pulls over on the side of the road. I stare at him, wondering what the hell he’s doing when his hand flies across the car and he unclips my seatbelt. I'm pulled up onto his lap before I even know what’s going on and then his arms curl tightly around me and my head is crushed into his strong chest. “I’m so fucking sorry, Ocean. If I knew it would end with you hating me like this, I never would have done it. I would have gone against Nic and done what was right. If I could take it all back … fuck. I love you so goddamn much. Please don’t end this. I need you in my life.”
Fuck, that’s some big words he’s saying there. Big words with big fucking consequences. Saying that he’d go against Nic’s wishes just to make things right means he’d turn his back on them for me, and that’s a shitload of weight right there.
My tears fall heavier. Sebastian has always been the softie of our group but he’s always been so strong. I’ve never seen him break down like this, never seen him so damn vulnerable and it shatters every last piece of me. “I don’t hate you, Sebastian,” I murmur over the lump in my throat. “I'm just hurt. What you guys did … it hurt. It really fucking hurt.”
“Tell me what you need, O. Tell me how to make it right.”
I shake my head. “I don’t know,” I whisper. “I just want my friend back. I want to be able to trust you again. I miss you so much.”
His arms tighten around me and he holds me so damn tight that it hurts. “I’m right here, baby. I swear, anything you need, it’s yours.”
I suck in a deep breath before slowly letting it out and trying to calm my wild emotions. We sit on the side of the road for twenty minutes, just sitting in each other's arms until the pieces of my soul finally start gluing themselves back together.
I wipe my eyes on his shirt and pull back, meeting his soft, careful stare. “Do you want to stay for dinner? We can make tacos.”
A wide beaming smile spreads across his face and I watch as the weight visibly lifts off his shoulders. He presses a rough kiss to my forehead and all but shakes me with joy. “Fuck yeah,” he exclaims, practically tossing me back over to my side and hitting the gas before I have a chance to right myself in my seat. “Let’s get you home.”