He laughs good-naturedly, but when he leans down to hug me, he holds me so tightly in his embrace that I wince a little.
“I’ll miss you,” he says. “I will miss you so so much. Call me?”
“Of course, I will,” I tell him. “Whenever I have a connection, I’ll call you.”
“Pinky swear?”
“Pinky swear.”
Letting me go, he wraps his larger pinky around my own and shakes. I swallow hard and pull him to me again, burying my face on his chest. He wears a faded Black Sabbath tee that’s too tight around the arms and almost too short, but it’s his favorite, the memory of my dad’s obsession with classic rock fading as much as the tee.
I can’t bear to take it away from him. It’s hard enough leaving him in the care of someone else, but with his seizure condition I have no choice. And they take good care of him here. His residency is set up like a well-furnished home, with large dining tables in the dining room, comfortable furniture in the living room, each bedroom private with its own bathroom, only there are nurses here around the clock, transportation, plus doctors and therapists who pay frequent visits. Daniel is one of the more high-functioning people here, others in wheelchairs and still others more seriously mentally disabled. But for all his innocence and abilities, leaving him makes me ache inside.
I sigh and hold him tighter. Daniel is the only one I have left after the accident, and knowing I’m leaving him almost makes it impossible to go.
But how can I champion self-care and women’s rights if I don’t take my own advice? Adrianna and Mal are right. I haven’t had a vacation since I took over guardianship of Daniel. Still, it doesn’t make it easy.
I sigh for the umpteenth time.
This vacation is free. It seems almost irresponsible not to take this opportunity.
It’s time.
“You’ll be fine,” I whisper, because I’m afraid if I speak out loud, I’ll cry.
I feel strong hands behind me. Adrianna, pulling me away from Daniel. She’s short but feisty, and she has a no-nonsense, maternal look about her.
“Go, now,” she says. “You have a ride waiting, don’t you?”
I do. It’s so weird. Surreal even. There’s a limo outside Daniel’s residence, ready to take me to the airport. We’ll fly from Boston to Miami, where I’ll board my ship this evening.
“Eat your dessert, and when I come back in, we’ll play a game,” Adrianna says.
Daniel shoots me a grin. I give him a half-smile back.
“Go, Harper,” Adrianna says. “I promise. While you’re gone, I’ll be here every single day to look out for him. And remember, this is our goal, right? That he not become too dependent on you and learn some self-advocacy?”
“It is,” I tell her. “I just—”
“I know, honey.” She puts her arm around my shoulders as she leads me firmly to the exit, and when we reach the door, she spins me around to look at her. “You deserve this. Okay? Remember that. You deserve this.”
I look outside the door to where the limo is waiting.
“It’s so crazy weird,” I tell her. “I mean, who the hell wins a cruise?”
She smiles at me. “It’s so crazy weird,” she says on a laugh. “And honey, you did.”
I give her a quick hug, then leave before I lose my resolve. I have to get some space, or I’ll change my mind and stay. I hold my head high and walk to the waiting limo. The driver, an older, clean-shaven man wearing a uniform and matching hat, stands beside the door, and he tips his hat to me when I draw close.
“Miss Lane,” he says. “Ready to go?”
I draw in a shaky breath. “I am.”
He opens the door and ushers me in. I manage to save my tears for when the door closes, and I’m alone in the interior of the luxurious car, then I cover my face with my hands and weep. I miss him already.
I know the driver can hear me, but thankfully, he doesn’t let on. I see him lift his cell phone and watch as he presses a button. “I have her,” he says. It seems a little odd, as if I’m specially acquired goods in a heist, and he’s just managed to find me. I dismiss the weird thought as soon as I have it, because with a job like mine, you learn to suspect literally everyone and everything. It gets wearying after a while.
So, I lean back in my seat and close my eyes. I hope and pray the hardest part of this is over.
Vacation time.ThreeCyI wake before the sun, the aches and pains in every muscle of my body screaming for attention before I open my eyes. I roll over and groan, then stifle the sound. It takes me a minute to realize that I’m still in hiding. I have to remain noiseless, so they don’t find me.