But he’d become stuck on what she’d said before that. We could have shared something in bed that didn’t mean commitment or hurt feelings later. We’d both have a memory.
Cole would give almost anything for that memory. When he was alone, he could take it out and hold it, his one treasured possession.
She seemed to shake herself. “Forget what I said. You’re a man. You’ve probably found women. I’ll bet that was the first thing you thought about when you walked out of prison, wasn’t it?”
“No.”
Her eyes widened. That voice hadn’t sounded like him.
“You didn’t…” she began tentatively.
“What I thought about was not being watched all the time. Being free to make my own decisions. To go for a walk in the middle of the night if I felt like it, dive into a lake, not see anyone wearing a uniform. I was hopeful and scared.” He leaned forward, his voice raw from his intensity. “Do you know what it’s like to have no place to go, nobody willing to take you in? To have no goddamn idea where you’re going to lay your head, or whether you’ll screw up without even knowing what you did and find yourself back inside so fast your head spins?”
“I… No.”
Muscles rigid, he said, “All those years, did I think about how it felt, having a soft woman beneath me? Yeah. But during the stretch before I met you, I was too pissing scared to put that on my to-do list.”
They stared at each other, her eyes dilated, his… He didn’t know.
At last she whispered, “What about since you’ve been here?”
He shook his head. All he’d been able to see was her. She must have guessed that.
“Then—” Her gaze broke away from his. She appeared to focus on the kitchen window.
Then? Cole’s body tensed. Had she been about to ask why they couldn’t have that memory? Suddenly, he couldn’t think of a single reason making love with this woman would be a bad idea. Down the line, he’d hurt, but at least he’d know she wanted him.
“I was being stupid. When you want something too much…” He had to clear his throat.
Her vivid eyes met his again. “You mean…?”
“Yeah.” Did she understand what he was saying? He should make a move…but pride wouldn’t let him.
She kept staring at him. He was getting dizzy and realized he’d been holding his breath by the time she finally spoke. “I don’t know. The other day…you made me feel really awful.”
“I know. I’m sorry,” he said huskily. “I… Please.”
After one more, breathless moment, Erin got to her feet, circled the table and laid a hand on his cheek. He saw fear and doubt on her face, but also something that had his heart pounding.
He pulled her onto his lap and captured her mouth with his.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
ERIN COULDN’T BELIEVE she was doing this. She’d intended to accept his apology with dignity and politely ask for the house key back. Instead, here she was sitting sideways on his hard thighs, her body feeling boneless as she melted against him. Vulnerable, in a way she’d never been during any past relationship.
His kiss was gentle instead of all-in passionate. His lips brushed hers; he nibbled. He rubbed his nose against hers and nuzzled the crook of her neck.
“What are you doing?” she whispered.
“Breathing,” he murmured. He lifted his head, disbelief the primary emotion in his blue eyes. Or maybe that wasn’t right. Maybe it was wonder. “I can’t believe…” His throat worked.
Wonder. No man had ever looked at her as if she was his dream. The way she started to choke up freaked her out and she had to push back. Wait. This was a man who hadn’t so much as kissed a woman in ten very long years. Of course she was his dream! She could be any woman—
Except she didn’t believe that. With his looks and muscles, his pride and instinctive kindness, he could’ve had sexual partners since he came to West Fork if he chose.
When you want something too much… Me.
He tugged out the elastic that had confined her hair and sifted his fingers through the strands, appearing fascinated.
What if this was a con?