Now that the threat was gone, and the adrenaline had worn off, it bared mentioning that not one of us was joking or cracking a smile. Far from it. Not that I’d done either of those things once, but even the rest of my family were stony faced and somber as we loaded her into the ambulance and I climbed in beside her. They didn’t even crack a joke or try to lighten the mood while we waited for news on her condition at the hospital.
The only purpose that the bantering had served was to keep Kari, Eric, and Raquel off guard. Now we had our full focus on Charlotte.Chapter EighteenCharlotte“You’re a disgust,” I scolded Rambo, refusing to fall for the sad puppy eyes. “Do you hear me? A dis-gust.”
What was his crime? Well, the morning after Eric had taken me almost four weeks ago, Lily and the girls had come up to the house to tidy up and let the guy in to fix the broken window.
They’d seen their box of treats open on the floor in our bathroom still and had rightly figured that I’d move to Peru if anyone else saw them. So they’d boxed it all back up again and had hidden it under the bed – something which they failed to tell us until I accidentally kicked it as I was making the bed a couple of days ago. It would also be pertinent to mention that my bed making abilities consisted of throwing the pillows near the top and pulling up the duvet just now.
I’d pulled it out using my toes, and when I’d recognized the box, I’d put it on the floor in the walk-in closet.
Well, apparently Rambo had found it and we’d walked in to find him using the largest of the training butt plugs as a teething toy. In the middle of the rug. In the middle of the living room. And when I say we, I don’t mean Levi and myself, either. The we had included Elijah, Webb, Tate, Noah, and Archer, along with Ariana and Bonnie, and not one of them missed what was happening.
And – because that couldn’t possibly be bad enough, could it? – just to make it worse, when I’d tried to get it away from him, he’d dragged it behind the couch and had proceeded to play tug-of-war with his brother with it.
“Hey, it’s natural to dogs,” Webb yawned, totally unphased by it. “They like sniffing butts, so they probably thought it was a bonding thing with you.”
Oh my god, kill me now. I’m begging you, just kill me.
Coming to my defense, Levi shot his cousin the bird. “She hasn’t used it, asshole.”
Grinning at him, Webb drawled, “I’d actually assumed seeing as how it was so easily accessible and the beautiful Charlotte is still all banged up, that it was your personal plug,” making everyone burst out laughing.
Shaking his head, he looked over at Noah. “Help me move this thing,” he pointed at the couch, “so I can throw that shit away.”
Not willing to let it go, Webb got up and helped him instead. “I agree, cousin. Dogs mouths are full of bacteria and with it all chewed up, it would be awkward having to explain how your ass was such a mess if you got an infection because of it.”
Giving him a glare, they pulled the couch away from the wall it had been in front of. Sensing that his new toy was about to be stolen, Rambo let out a growl that was probably meant to scare them, but it just sounded like a high pitched trill with the toy between his teeth.
Incidentally, on that couch were two throw cushions that Ariana had given her brother for Christmas with a Daschund on it, and the words He has a little wiener written above it. He also had a t-shirt, hoodie, and mug with it on, too. It was hilarious. After I’d left that night, someone had taken a red Sharpie and replaced the a with the number two, and added an s at the end of wieners. Now it read, He has 2 little wieners.
“Jesus, look at him go on that thing,” Levi chuckled, all of the irritation from seconds away gone as he watched the puppy chewing on it like it was an actual teething toy.
“Maybe they should add that to the packaging? Dog owners could save a fortune in furniture if they got them one of these to chomp on,” Webb suggested seriously. “I remember when you got Bogey, Archer, and he ate the leg off the dining table. I thought Aunt Erica was going to shit her pants.”
Archer’s eyebrows shot up as he looked over the back of the couch. “Hard to believe he can get his tiny mouth around something so big…”