Pulling her into my front, I turned her head so that she was looking up at me. “What’s the real reason you won’t eat a deviled egg, Lottie? And no more lies.”
I don’t think I’d ever seen someone blush as hard as she was at that moment. “I don’t think we’re at the stage in our relationship where we can discuss this sort of thing, Levi.”
I’d been determined to find out the real reason before, but now it was a matter of life and death. “Lottie.”
Shoving her head into my chest, she grabbed two handfuls of my top and tried to wrap them around her head. “Lottie, tell me.”
Because she didn’t lift her head out of where it was, her answer was muffled and I had to strain to hear it. But I heard it, oh sweet Jesus did I hear it. “Some egg dishes react violently with my stomach, ok?”
Bursting out laughing, I pulled my shirt off her head. “React violently? What the hell is that?”
Elijah and Archer walking up saved her from answering. “What are y’all talking about? Merry Christmas by the way, Charlotte,” Elijah told her, giving her a wink and then looking up at me when he saw how red she was. “Holy shit, what did you say to her?”
Grabbing me by the beard, she pulled my head down until my face was about an inch away from hers. “You tell them, and I swear they’ll never find your penis.”
“Jesus,” Archer muttered, taking a step back.
“And I’ll put hair removal cream in your beard.”
Closing that inch until my nose was touching hers, I growled, “You wouldn’t dare.”
My penis was one thing, but a man’s beard was sacred.
“Shit, she went for his beard. That’s Levi-sacrilege,” Elijah whispered to Archer.
“True story, he was born with that thing,” he agreed, looking between the two of us.
“She might have issues finding that penis, though.”
Raising my head back up to glare at them, I snapped, “Will the two of you shut up? Don’t you have other people to piss off?”
Rocking back on his heels, Elijah scratched his belly absentmindedly as he looked around the room. “Nope, we’re waiting for the brothers to get here. Apparently there was an accident so they’re held up in traffic.”
Spinning around, Lottie clapped excitedly. “Wait, they’re on their way? Why didn’t you say? I need to make sure my phone’s got a good amount of battery.”
Frowning at her, Elijah asked, “Why do you need that?”
Seeing as how she was already moving to where her coat was on the couch, the question was asked to the back of her head. Still, she answered it, making me and Archer burst out laughing.
“Because if they’re anything like you, the videos are going to make me rich.”
Fucking right!
CharlotteEvery single bone in my body hurt. I’d never been part of a Christmas celebration like it, and I was going to have to start going to the gym now to survive next year.
It had started normally, with everyone exchanging presents like normal people do. Then they’d started passing around the food – little things to nibble on to start with, some chips and dip, normal things like that.
For dinner, we’d all sat down at the table and Erica had brought out four of the biggest turkeys I’d ever seen in my life with platters of vegetables and sides.
During it, Elijah had started the nurse questions, the ones every nurse loves to be asked.
“What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen stuck in someone’s body?” I’d seen a lot, but the answer had to be a bullet, followed by a butt plug made out of Lego.
“Have you ever had a patient with a hamster up their ass?” No.
“Have you ever seen a patient with glass up their ass?” Yes, a beer bottle.
“How does someone get a vibrator stuck inside them?” Bad luck and poor planning.
“What’s the biggest thing you’ve ever seen stuck up an ass?” A large shampoo bottle, and one of those huge jars of peanut butter.
“What do you do with the stuff you pull out?” It’s up to the patient.
It had been endless, and by the time they were distracted by dessert, I was relieved that Elijah’s brothers hadn’t arrived yet because I had a feeling it would have gone on for longer.
And the dessert, oh those poor pies. Unfortunately, those had been made by Luna and Dahlia who had both decided that it would be less of a pain in the ass if they had some wine before they did it. Wine ended up as sex on the beach which was technically just vodka because they didn’t have the other ingredients, apparently. So, doing shots of vodka – in normal water glasses because they didn’t have shot ones – they made some pies.
Thanks to a lot of the vodka and a little of the tequila, they mixed up cream with sour cream, sugar with salt, and didn’t add butter into the base. What we got was a base that was ground crackers only so it disintegrated when you touched it and the most god awful tasting pies.