I was still inside her, connected to her in the best possible way, so I felt it when she clenched down on the hyper-sensitive flesh and hissed. “Struggling to breathe… slightly,” she wheezed, moving her legs from where they were still resting beside her head.
“Shit, sorry,” I muttered, lifting myself up onto my hands so that she could move her legs down again. With a bit of awkward limb lifting and shuffling, some curse words, and a lot of groaning noises, we moved so that I was back in my original position on top of her, this time with her legs wrapped around my waist. “I forgot about that.” Jose was flexible, she could get into the weirdest positions and not bat an eyelid at it. That said, it still had to suck being in that position when you didn’t have an impending orgasm influencing your brain into thinking you were comfortable. Realizing I was probably still crushing her, I went to withdraw and drop to the side, but she tightened her legs around me, pulling me even further back inside her.
“Stay a second,” she whispered, lifting her hands to hold my face close to hers. “I have something I want to say to you. I’m not going to bring my past into this moment because it has no place here, but I can say that I’ve never felt more loved, respected, and complete as I have done over the last five weeks. And that’s all thanks to you.” Her eyes lowered to watch as her thumb stroked along my lower lip before she looked back up at me again. “I know it’s really early in the relationship for us to say this to each other, but then I also know that we have a closeness and a connection that we’ve been working on for the last nine months. So,” she took a deep breath in, “that kind of cancels out the rule breaking of me giving you back the fact that I love you, too.”
Man code dictates that men don’t act like fools when a woman tells us they love us - we’re to take it on the chin and ride the wave like a pro. I refused to acknowledge that cool riding ideal at this moment.
“Oh, thank fuck for that,” I breathed, leaning down and kissing her, trying to get it all out in a kiss. I didn’t want to cry, that’s not what I was feeling, but I wanted her to feel it in any way I could get it out – starting with this kiss. Eventually, I realized I couldn’t do this all day – although I would have if I could – and pulled away. This time I remembered to make sure she wasn’t being crushed, and seeing as how her coloring was ok and she wasn’t panting or gasping, I went with the green light. “Everyone has their own timing, just like everyone marches to the beat of their own drum. This is our right time, and I’m beyond fucking happy about it.”
Grinning up at me, she went to say something when she caught sight of the clock. “Shit, Liv’s going to wake up any second. I need to go clean up.”
Happy penis – shrinking penis, this is the way of life, and nothing shrinks it faster than the realization that one of the best parts of my day would open her eyes and be hangry at any moment. Pulling out of Jose, I dropped onto my side and watched as Jose got up and pretty much sprinted to the bathroom. Once the door was shut, I moved, so that I was on my back, and stared up at the white ceiling in my bedroom, mulling over my plans – again. Jose’s house wasn’t going to be repaired anytime soon, and we’d collected the stuff that could be salvaged and cleaned, which thankfully had been the important stuff. We’d brought the shit she needed here, and it had ‘naturally’ made its way in amongst my own when she wasn’t looking, and the rest of it was in storage. Liv now had her bed, new bedding, and all the furniture and toys from her room were in the one we’d set up for her. It all fit perfectly in this house that I couldn’t remember what it was like living here on my own anymore, and I didn’t want to either.
Which led me to what was making me antsy. Marrying Jose was going to happen. Planning the best way to ask her was an issue, but I’d get there regardless of my issues with patience. But I also wanted to become something official to Liv, and that took more time. I wasn’t one of those guys who started beating his chest and appointed himself that honor, and that’s what it was – an honor to be her father. I needed to earn it and prove myself, I also needed to discuss it with Jose and make sure she agreed with it. I had a bond with Olivia that had snapped into place the second I saw her for the first time. She’d opened her beautiful eyes – which had been blue back then, but had changed to her mom’s green now – and I’d been gone. But when I’d held her, an overwhelming feeling of love had hit me, and I hadn’t known what to do with it. I didn’t know if it was natural to feel like that, or what it even was, but listening to her crying that first night and her mom and aunt freaking out had torn me up inside. After a week of it, I’d called Mom, and she’d explained it to me – you don’t need DNA to love a child and bond with them, you need a heart and two special humans who could have that bond together. If Jose said she didn’t think it was a good idea or wanted to wait even longer, I’d understand that, but eventually I wanted both girls to have my name, and for Liv to be mine, too.