It was quick by our standards, but it was the hottest kiss we’d had so far, which said something. And there, on the side of a road as we made our way home from the best date ever, with a purple bear from Germany beside us, Jarrod took a little bit more of my heart.
What I didn’t realize was that I’d taken a whole lot of his, too.TwelveKatyOne week later…
“This is the happiest moment of my life,” Maude yelled across the table to me, making Maya, Isla, Ebru, Sabine, Sonya, Layla, Scarlett, Jose, Tabby, Rose and I laugh.
Yup, we were all here, but the difference was that only me, Maude and Layla had come honestly and hadn’t had to sneak out of our house to do it. How the men all fell for their women having period pains at the same time I didn’t know, but they had.
“I thought that was when you had your face against Jarrod’s naked chest,” Tabby shouted back.
Maude stopped to think about it as she watched a guy on the stage having a shower and then shrugged. “Ok, this is the second happiest moment of my life.”
Putting her finger to her lips, Maya got up and walked through the darkened seating area to where a man in a suit was watching the show. No one else had seen her doing it, so it was only me watching out for her and wondering what she was doing. The man looked over her shoulder at the table as she turned around to point at us. After that, she gave him a hug and skipped back to us.
Leaning into my side she whispered, “Wait for it.”
“Wait for what?” I whispered back, but all she did was shake her head and look back up at the stage.
“Do you know they wear cock socks?” Tabby asked us, her speech slurring slightly after her Sambuca challenge with Maude earlier, so it came out “cocksh shocths”.
Finding this tidbit of information interesting, I tried to think of what kind of socks a man would wear on his pee-pee. I mean, I wasn’t an expert in men’s socks, I stuck to ones with Harry Potter, Alice in Wonderland, and retro gaming characters on them. They just looked cuter than normal ones to me. But I knew that Jarrod wore these thick ones that had what looked like extra padding on the soles and had a thick part that went up his ankle. Would that be suitable for a penis? Then a mental image hit me of one of the handsome, built guys on the stage pulling a sock on with the Cheshire Cat grinning on it over his schlong and I burst out laughing getting the attention of the table.
“Don’t mind me,” I snickered. “What kind of socks do they use? Like those sneaker footsy ones?”
“I dunno,” Tabby shrugged, eyes on the stage. “All I know is that when they do something where they have to pull their speedos off, they have it all tucked away in a nice little cocky socky house.”
“He looks like he’d wear a penis sock size twelve,” Maude guessed, nodding her head at the handsome blonde on the stage. “Maybe even a thirteen.”
“If he keeps jerking it around like that, he’s going to need one of those socks they wear on construction sites,” Maya muttered beside me, making me burst out laughing again.
And then it happened, something funny to everyone else, but a total nightmare to me.
“I hear there’s a blushing virginal bride in the audience,” the MC said into his microphone as he pointed at our table.
Looking behind me and seeing a wall, I turned back and glared at Maya. “That better not be me,” I hissed.
“Oh, it’s not,” she confirmed, grinning widely before she turned around and muttered something under her breath that I couldn’t hear over the round of applause that filled the room.
“Maude Crew, where are you darlin’?” the MC asked, still staring at our table.
This didn’t call for non-swearing swearing, this called for the mother of cussing. “What the actual fuck?”
Before I could stop her, she was up on her feet with her hands in the air, screaming. “That’s me, that’s me.”
“Well, get your beautiful ass up on the stage, babe. We’re gonna give you something you’ll never forget,” he told her, jumping off the edge and running up to hold his arm out to her.
Rather than say something like hi or that Maya was a big fat liar, she yelled, “Is your cock sock a size twelve or thirteen?”
“Oh, fucking shoot me,” I muttered, sinking lower in my seat.
“Here, have a drink,” one of the girls said and pushed a pitcher and a full shot glass over to me. “It’ll help numb the pain.”
And on that note, I shot back whatever was in the shot glass, and then stuck three straws in the pitcher and went to town.