“Please, Kamal.”
Seething, I leaned back in my chair.
“After our first argument, you pulled away. It’s the truth.”
“I left the seat up and you destroyed the bathroom and screamed for twenty minutes. Everything was all over the place. While I understand I should have put the seat down, the punishment didn’t fit the crime.”
“So, I went to counseling to improve my behavior.”
“Yes. I was there. I paid for the counseling. Why are we discussing this?”
Her eyes watered. “I didn’t think that you ever gave me a chance once I started going to counseling.”
“I stayed by your side. You snapped a lot.”
“The pills had bad side effects. And coming to New York after never being to the east coast was difficult to adjust too. I was depressed and. . .”
“That’s fine.” I shook her excuses away. “I understood all of that. The whole time, I remained next to you. I paid for your therapist and prescriptions. I remained patient hoping that all would get back to normal. And I would have waited even longer, but you cheated. That’s that.”
“But I want to explain why.”
“I don’t care why.” I leaned forward and took off my mask halfway. “Look at me.”
She widened her eyes.
“Do I look like I’m confused or questioning our relationship? Does it even look like I’ve lost sleep?”
Her voice went low. “No.”
“Do I look angry?”
She whispered, “No.”
I placed my mask back on. “I’m content with the end of our relationship. We’re done and I’m fine with that.”
Hate filled Amber’s eyes. “Because of her.”
“No. Because of you.” I pointed at Amber. “I wanted to end us the whole time you were being crazy and erratic, but I knew that when you love someone you must stick through it all. So I stayed. Faithfully. I didn’t like the screaming and throwing stuff, but a man doesn’t leave immediately without making sure things could change.”
Tears left her eyes and dotted her gray mask.
“And then you cheated.” I clapped my gloved hands together. “One minute, I’m mad. Enraged. Disgusted. An hour later, I’m. . .relieved. Guilt came because of it. Several more hours later, I’m more relaxed than I’ve ever been this 2020.”
“Don’t say that, Kamal.”
“Your cheating freed me. It made me walk away when I wouldn’t do it myself.”
“There were good times.”
“Not this year. It all sucked.” I held my hands out. “All of it. On the very first day, things were awkward. I thought I just needed to get used to you. What I had to realize was that. . .no. . .we weren’t supposed to live together at all. There was never a sense of comfort or love.”
“Let’s. . .try again.”
“Are you listening to me, Amber?”
She wiped at her tears. “We can go to counseling.”
“Engaged or married people go to counseling. They’ve put real time into their situations and want to save it.” I waved my hands. “I don’t want to save this. I’m relieved, and I will be even more relieved when you are in California. Right now, you have become an annoyance that is hindering on me being happy.”
“Because of her.”
“Because of you.” I pointed. “You, Amber. That’s it. That should be your focus. There’s no one to blame—”
“But me?” More tears fell.
I sighed. “But you.”
More tears came and she coughed under her mask. The cashier rushed our way. “Oh no. You must go.”
“I’m not sick.” Amber wiped her tears. “I’m just crying.”
“You have to go.” He gestured to the door. “You haven’t made an order anyway.”
“It’s okay.” I rose. “She’s leaving, but I want to make an order.”
“Okay.” The man backed up. “But it’s time for her to go.”
Amber coughed some more. “It’s not the virus!”
“Everyone calm down.” I held my hands up. “Amber, we’ve had our conversation. Time to leave.”
The cashier held his hands on his hips and glared at me. “What do you want?”
“Medium cheese pizza with extra cheese.”
“Okay.” The cashier rushed off.
Amber got up from her chair and stood. “That’s it?”
“Goodbye, Amber. You’ll be fine. With this world’s craziness, you should be with your dad.”
“I want to be with you.”
“In a few months, you’ll be happy that I told you to leave.”
“I doubt that. No one ever loved me like you.”
“You’ll find even better.”
She held her hands out and stepped my way.
“No, Amber. No hugging.”
“This damn virus is ruining everything. This is no way for humans to live.”
“It doesn’t matter about the virus, Amber. I wouldn’t have wanted a hug regardless.”
Another tear spilled from her eye. Silent, she turned around and walked out of the pizza joint.
For a few seconds, my heart ached. I had no more love for Amber, but I didn’t like making her feel so bad.
I let out a long breath, pulled out my phone, and dialed my sister. She was the only person that would give me any rational advice. Ross hated her. And Tyler was the last person I would ever take guidance from.