"Good morning, Granny."
The earth goddess' smile turned into a scowl.
I am not your granny!
She was seated rather elegantly on a couch, her slender limbs made more slender by the gauzy wisps of her empress-styled gown. Around her were a couple of skeletal subjects: one stood next to a tray of champagne, another looked after a tray of fruits, while a third was busy sketching her portrait.
Have you told her yet?
Gaea's imperious tone made me curious. She only sounded like that when she felt rather embarrassed. Cute, right? But I'd never ever tell her that, natch.
"What's Granny talking about?" I asked Hadrian.
Oh, for the love of myself!
I couldn't help laughing. The correct expression was actually 'for the love of Gaea', but since she was Gaea...
"You are sooooo vain, Granny!"
Better vain than sssstupid—-
"Well, better stupid than—-" Hadrian coughed, and since it wasn't like him to stop us from having our usual fun, I stopped speaking and looked at him in askance.
"Before you start your usual word war," Hadrian murmured, "I think you should know that Gaea has kindly agreed to attend your coronation as the new Lady of the Underworld."
I waited for the punchline.
"No, my love. It's not a joke."
"But you said Gaea hasn't attended a public gathering in millennia."
"I did."
"There's a catch, right?"
"No."
I turned myself into a ghost so I could float down to where the earth goddess was. "You don't really have to, you know. I mean, I never expected to—-"
Gaea's tongue snapped out, but it only went through my ghostly form.
Sssshit.
I laughed, and after a moment, even the earth goddess cracked a grudging smile.
Ssstop making a big deal out of this, ssstupid.
"I just want you to be sure," I insisted. "Hadrian told me you had really bad memories of the last time you were in Mt. Olympus and—-"
It is important that they know the new Lady of the Underworld has my sssupport.
She was being so sweet that for one moment I was just tempted to let it go. I mean, I could always talk about it next time, right? The coronation won't be until next month—-
You have a ssstupid look on your face that I find painfully familiar. If you have sssomething to sssay then out with it. Ssstupid!
"Well..."
Ssstop wasting my time!
I took a deep breath. "Before you make up your mind about attending the coronation, I thought it's only fair for you to know that I don't intend to have the people call me Lady of the Underworld."
Hadrian groaned from the balcony, but I pretended not to hear this. Gaea, on the other hand, was shaking her head in seeming bewilderment.
You want a new title?
"Just a shorter one, like..." I beamed at her. "LOTUS!"
Hadrian groaned again.
"It's an abbreviation," I said helpfully.
Then ssshould it not be LOTU?
"Nope. It's really LOTUS."
But what can the S ssstand for?
I allowed myself a grin, saying, "What else but...Lady of the Underworld, silly."
It took a few seconds...and then Gaea threw her head back with a laugh, the sound of which became the front page of the Underworld Times the next day.
EARTH GODDESS LAUGHS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THOUSANDS OF YEARS!
IS THE WORLD COMING TO AN END?