Or maybe it was just the lab coat, and she wasn't really that smart? Who knew? Who cared? Point was, we were both in the same boat, with Mira having a thief to catch while I had a little snitch to unmask, not just for doing a hatchet job on my reputation but also for forcing me to lie to Hadrian.
The Lord of the Underworld had called me earlier - landlines still existed here, imagine - and because I knew how worried he was, I had denied reading today's paper and practically earned myself an Oscar, just convincing him that everything was peachy, and he had no need to come back and check on me.
A sigh of frustration slipped past my lips. I hated lying to Hadrian, but I had no choice, and it was all that snitch's fault.
There has to be something I can do...
I impatiently drummed my fingers on the dissection table and ignored the nasty look Hadrian's lab-coat-wearing cousin threw my way.
"I'm betting Persephone had a hand with this."
Mira didn't even bother pretending she cared to listen now, but menopause had given me thicker skin than usual, so I went on ranting.
"I mean, it has to be someone on the surface who fed the news to the Underworld Times, and she's the only non-human I can think of who'd have reason to hate me—-"
"Oh, you'd be surprised," she muttered under her breath.
I turned to Mira, asking, "What was that?"
"Nothing."
"Ha! I was kidding, you know. I totally heard you—-"
"I was kidding, too," Mira answered without glancing up from her microscope, "because I wanted you to hear it."
"Mira," I wheedled, "come on. You're Hadrian's cousin. You're blood-bound to help—-"
"Okay, fine." Mira finally swung her seat around. "How exactly do you want me to help?"
"I just don't want Hadrian's subjects to start disrespecting him because of me—-"
Mira cut me off, asking, "Did Hades ever tell you that the Underworld Times wrote about you before?"
"Was it a good piece?" I asked hopefully.
"Oh no." Mira was actually smiling right now, and her eyes were glowing like she was in the middle of reminiscing a rather fond memory. "I believe it said...it's shamefully predictable and appallingly desperate for the upstart to believe she could become a proper goddess just by adding ambrosia to her DNA."
"That kinda sounds like verbatim," I said suspiciously.
But Mira ignored this. "I just want you to understand thoroughly what you're up against—-"
I rolled my eyes. "There's only so many ways you can keep reminding me I'm not the ideal LOTUS."
Mira blinked. "LOTUS?"
"It's...you know what? Never mind. Can we just please focus on solutions? And you must have one, surely?"
"There is one that might work..." Mira's tone became thoughtful. "But I don't know if Hades would approve—-"
"Let's worry about that later," I said eagerly. "What is it...oh." Mira had once again grabbed my hand, but thankfully it wasn't to start tearing my skin open again. This time, she had dumped an object in my hands, and I stared down at it blankly.
A small and exceptionally detailed iron figurine in the shape of a partridge, and sadly...I couldn't recall a partridge in any Hercules episode.
"I'm sorry, but what is this?"
"Perdix is the nephew of Daedalus—-"
"The guy who created the Labyrinth?" I smirked at the look Mira gave me. "Yes, I do—-"
"And that he was killed by his famous uncle?"
"Oh, er, no, I did not know that." But I wasn't surprised she did.
"Daedalus was jealous of Perdix's greatness as an inventor."
Oh, these ancient Greeks. They were such a murderously jealous bunch.
"So when he saw the chance to kill the boy, he took it. He pushed his nephew off the Acropolis—-"
"Seriously?"
"Fortunately for Perdix, Athena saw what was happening, and the goddess saved his life by turning him—-"
"Oh my God!" I stared down at the iron partridge in my hand. "Is this Perdix?"
Mira gave me a pained look. "No."
"It was a logical assumption to make," I said defensively.
"No." Mira looked even more pained. "It's not. May I continue now?"
I started to answer, but it seemed as if Mira was afraid to hear another word from me because she had started talking rather quickly.
"What you're holding is one of Perdix's inventions. If you feed it a drop of your blood, the partridge will come to life and work as a living compass. You can command it to trace the stolen vial, and the partridge will be able to do so since the vial contains your blood."
"So I just command it?" I asked dubiously, "and wait until it comes flying back with the stolen vial?"
"If it were that easy," Mira said patiently, "I'd have done this myself. But it's not. This partridge can only follow you because you are the source of the blood it feeds on. Consequently, you'll need to follow it on foot, go wherever it leads you, and that's why I said Hades is unlikely to approve of this. He thinks you're too weak—-"