How could she have done this? How could somebody I didn’t even know take it upon herself to talk about something so deeply personal and sensitive to another person she didn’t even know?
It blew my mind and kept me in this perpetual state of feeling like it couldn’t be real. Nobody did something like that. Nobody would take those sort of liberties with another person’s relationship. And yet, she had. While I stood there in the parking lot waving goodbye to my best friend, the new bartender, a woman I had hired, was walking up to Mason and telling him I was carrying his child.
Putting my personal feelings and the fact that she just lit my life on fire aside, I couldn’t put myself in that place. Miranda was so young. I knew from my interview with her that this was only the second bar she’d worked in, and the first had been just a few months before when she lived in another state. She moved to town and fell in love with The Hollow. Working there behind the bar was her dream.
So she said during the interview. I found her charming and refreshingly real during that interview. The other people lining up to babble on about how honored they would be to work there were just blowing smoke up my ass. So said Tyler after I described it to him. Not a phrase I would purposely choose myself, but once he said it, I found it oddly fitting.
The point was, the other candidates might have had more experience or come with local recommendations, but it was Miranda’s personality and ability to manage interactions smoothly and coolly that drew me in and secured her the position.
When I was that young, I would never have been able to do something like what she did. My boss had intimidated the hell out of me. I barely felt comfortable letting her know the bottom of her slip was sticking out of her skirt before she walked into a meeting. There would be no way I would be able to bring myself to interject into her personal life to such an astonishing degree. It never would have occurred to me anyone would have that kind of disregard for social propriety.
And yet, there I was.
At least when I went back into the bar after trying to chase Mason down, Miranda had the decency to be crying and look mortified. She rushed up to me, putting herself in my path so I couldn’t walk around her and get away. I didn’t want to hear a single word out of her mouth, but she forced me to listen to her.
“I’m so sorry,” she said. “I’m so sorry. I thought he knew. I really did think he knew you were pregnant, but that he didn’t realize you were scared. I saw how horrible you looked, and I just wanted to make things better.”
I tried to walk around her again. The last place I wanted to be was anywhere in her vicinity. But she shifted to get in my way again.
“I’m sorry, Ava. I was just trying to help. I wouldn’t ever do something just to hurt you. And if I knew he didn’t know, I wouldn’t have said anything to him. Ever. It’s just… I never fit in anywhere. And I just wanted to fit in here so bad. All of you are so close, and I wanted to feel like maybe someday I could be like one of you.”
Her words hit me, and my anger drained away. As awful as the result was, the intention really was kind. And I felt bad for her feeling so lonely and wanting so much to become a part of our group. After all, that was the whole point of hiring based on personality. We said from the beginning we wanted somebody who would be able to fit in with us and get along.
I let out a breath. “I forgive you. I understand. But next time you want to try to make a situation better, you might want to talk to me about it first.”
Miranda let out a slight uncomfortable laugh through her tears and nodded. “I will.”
Thankful to have gotten past that and that there was no drama, I changed my mind about leaving the bar for the night and just going home and got to work. I buried myself in computer and paperwork in the office, only coming out a couple of times to check and see how everything was going upfront.
None of the guys said anything to me. I didn’t know if that was because they didn’t really understand what was going on, hadn’t heard everything, or were just trying to keep their distance, trusting we would fill them in when the time was right. Whatever the reason, I was thankful for that, too. I didn’t want to talk about it with any of them until I had gotten a chance to talk to Mason.