I’m just not sure what will happen once our stay there is finished. Will I go back to my crappy place and he goes back to his? We share a room at the moment. It would feel wrong to not sleep in bed with him every night. My heart aches at the thought. I’m lying to myself when I say that I may be in love with Jay. I know without a doubt that I am. I’m just too scared to admit it out loud. What if he doesn’t feel the same? What if I said it and it pushed him away?
The thought of him not being in my life scares the crap out of me. My own mom was always chasing love. One man after another. I am beginning to understand her a little more now. Being in love is the most amazing feeling in the world, one that can never be explained and makes you do things that you wouldn’t normally do. I get it now. She wanted that feeling. She was always chasing it.
Sadly for her, she always picked the wrong men. It was great at first until they left. She would always brush it off, saying that the only love she needed was mine. Yet I know that she must have been devastated. My heart would shatter if Jay walked away from me.
Maybe I’m naïve, but I can’t see him ever doing that. I saw some of the men my mom dated. They wanted a pretty girl to have on their arm. Jay doesn't care about those things. It doesn’t matter what I wear; each and every time he tells me I look breathtaking. Sometimes I wish I could see myself through his eyes.
I start to clean up my work area, getting ready to leave. I requested to get off early because I wanted to do something special for Jay. I’m not the best cook in the world, but I can make a mean meatloaf. It’s my mom's recipe and it’s easy enough. When we had lunch, he told me he had a few meetings, so I’m thinking I can beat him home. My plan is to surprise him with dinner and then let him have me for dessert.
I grab my bag, stepping out of the mail room. I collide with Thomas.
“Sorry sir,” I say immediately. I try not to make a face at the smell of his overpowering cologne.
“I need to see you in my office for a moment.”
“I’m actually supposed to—”
“Now,” he orders, cutting me off. I grit my teeth together but follow him into his office. His personal assistant is always short with me, but this time she gives me a look of pure disgust. “I didn't know you were for sale, Dove.”
I give him a confused look. I don’t have a clue as to what he’s talking about.
He turns, dropping a few pictures onto his desk. I look down to see what seems to have him so upset. I do a double take. But when I look again, I still see myself. All of them are of me. In one you can only see half my face. My eyes are closed. I look peaceful. The next one is the one I focus on. I know it’s from last weekend. I’m in a sheer white dress trying to work the blinds and failing miserably. I’m covered in cookie dough. I recall Jay licking every bit of it from my body.
The only problem was the dress was sheer and you could easily see the outline of my breasts and nipples. Of course that’s the one that Thomas decides to focus on. He picks it up and disgust fills me at the way he stares at it.
“So is money what it takes to get inside of you or was it the Pulitzer Prize that had you spreading your legs?” Before I know what I’m doing, my hand comes out, and I smack him right across the face. He stands there shocked for a moment. I grab the pictures and storm out of his office. I don’t think I need to tell anyone I quit. I think the message was loud and clear.
I pull out my phone as I make my way out of the building to call my sister. She picks up after the first ring.
“I think Jay’s been lying to me.” She doesn't say anything. “Avery. Did you hear what I said?”
“What did he lie about?” she asks a little too slowly.
“Avery!” I snap as I flag down a cab. I’m not in the mood to wait to take the train. I hop in and rattle off the address.
“It’s nothing big, which is the only reason I didn’t tell you. I knew he was a good guy with good intentions and that you would have never given him a chance.” I hear her words, but they still don’t tell me what I need to know.