She sighed. “I thought so. I’d just grabbed a beer when I heard him talking. He was bragging about winning the frat house contest and having sex with me before any of the other pledges. He’d bragged about how he’d flirted with me in the library and how little effort it had taken him to convince me to come that night.”
“Please tell me you kicked his ass.”
He felt the drop of wetness fall on his hands and hugged her closer.
“I walked out. I walked back to my dorm room and…didn’t eat for three days.”
“Selena,” he groaned, closing his eyes as her pain washed over him.
“For a long time, I survived on water and about two hundred calories a day. On the days I ate more, I’d beat myself up and the next day, I wouldn’t eat anything. Eating was the enemy. Food was bad. My mind twisted everything around. I lost about fifty pounds in two months. Everyone in my dorm told me how much better I looked, which only reinforced the warped thoughts in my mind. It got worse and worse until…”
“What happened?” he prompted.
“I fainted in class. The paramedics were called. Even after they revived me, I couldn’t figure out where I was, couldn’t give them my name. I hadn’t eaten in more than thirty-six hours, so my body wasn’t functioning properly. And I’d lost so much body fat, my body had no reserves.”
“That’s when you realized you had a problem?”
She laughed harshly. “Nope. My parents were called to the hospital. I stayed there for three days while they assessed the damage to my heart and other organs. Thankfully, because my starving was recent, I hadn’t done any permanent damage, but I still needed months of therapy. I dropped out of school that semester in order to heal. I fought it for a long time, furious that my parents didn’t understand. Finally, the therapist my parents forced me to see showed me pictures of my body taken at the hospital and I saw how thin I’d gotten. It was bad,” she whispered. My ribs and hip bones protruded. I was literally skin and bones. Normal body fat percentages are about twenty-five percent for women. I was down to about ten percent which is about as low as a person can go before real damage to the organs starts to happen.”
“How long did it take you to recover?”
Selena sighed. “It’s ongoing. It is a bit like being an alcoholic. They can’t cure the disease. Just as I will always have to be mindful of eating and the messages I tell myself. It’s ongoing. Some days I’m strong and other days, I struggle. I know my triggers and I avoid them.” She glanced behind her, giving him a small smile. “Bacon is the biggest trigger for me, but I have others.”
“We’ll never have bacon in the house. Promise.”
She smiled, grateful for the immediate support. “I’m pretty good most of the time.”
“We all struggle with something in our lives,” he told her.
She turned and looked up at him. “What do you struggle with?” she asked, not believing him for a moment.
“I have the most annoying siblings you will ever meet!” he teased. When she laughed, he turned serious. “I have a bad temper. I’ll never hurt you, but it is easily sparked by triggers. I’m not as conscious of them, so my temper flares unexpectedly.” He pulled her higher. “So how about if we make a deal? I’ll help you with your eating and you help me with my temper.”
She laughed, knowing that it wasn’t the same, but she felt a tenderness inside of her for the offer. “Deal,” she told him.
He leaned forward to kiss her and Selena lifted her face, meeting him halfway.
“I love you, Selena. And I promise, I will never treat you with anything other than respect. Even when I’m furious with you.”
Another laugh and the last of that tension eased from her shoulders. “I love you too, Reid. I really do! And I promise to fight my inner demons harder.”
He nuzzled her neck. “How about if I become an outside demon for you?” and he nibbled on her earlobe, causing her to yelp and laugh at the same time.
Chapter 18
“Are you ever going to explain why we are here?” Brant asked, following his oldest brother into the bar. They’d flown down to Austin, Texas with only one day’s warning. Reid had called him and Mack and said he needed help. They’d both dropped whatever they were doing and got on the flight with their oldest brother.