She shook her head, her eyes flashing with pain as they always did when reminded about our screwed-up past. “It’s not a drug. Well, it is, and it isn’t.”
“Not interested.”
She huffed and grabbed her phone, her legs splicing apart before slipping gracefully beneath her. Tapping the screen, she brought up an app with palm trees and an emblem that said: ‘Pleasure in Euphoria is euphoric’.
“This is an app that transports us to a different place. It’s obviously not real. It doesn’t literally transport us, but it’s like a computer program. We wear these—” Putting her phone down, she grabbed a small wooden box from her drawer and placed them on my lap. “Eye lenses and earbud sensors. A bit like when Vaughn plays PlayStation, you know? He wears the headset and headphones? He sees the game all around him. He’s immersed.”
Opening the box, I glanced at the typical small containers for eye lenses and the earbuds. “And you want to play a computer game?”
She blushed. “I want to play a game...with you.”
I tensed as a wash of her emotions caught me by surprise. My condition allowed me to eavesdrop on my wife. I knew when she was pissed at me for leaving my polo gear untended and dirty on our chaise lounge. I knew when she stared at me with love when I kissed and played with our children. And I knew when she wanted me. The hot warmth that spilled from her was full of need and invitation.
In a way, she couldn’t hide from me. She couldn’t lie if I’d annoyed her or pretend things were okay when they weren’t.
But now...
I couldn’t understand what she felt.
She was excited, nervous, intrigued, turned on.
Afraid.
I looked harder at the sensors she’d given me, trying to figure out what this meant. What had Sully created here?
“You want me, Needle. I can sense that. But I don’t understand the fear.”
She looked down at the white bedspread before forcing herself to meet my eyes and blurt everything. “You must’ve heard the rumours too. About Sully’s fantasy world that he’s using on his Rapture islands? That he can code any kink and insert a couple to do whatever they want? All we have to do is wear those lenses and earbuds, choose a fantasy and press this button.” She showed me on the phone, small icons of BDSM dungeons, office desks, kinky playrooms, and outdoor picnics revealed the nature of each erotic fantasy.
My cock twitched in interest. But before I could agree or disagree, Nila said, “There’s something else.”
My eyebrows shot up. “What exactly?”
She pulled a small stopper bottle from her back pocket. “This.”
I took it from her, inspecting the smoky glass, before unscrewing the lid to smell the contents.
It smelled vaguely sweet and flowery—like the exotic orchids growing in our greenhouses. “What is it?”
“Cinta. I think Eleanor told me it’s Indonesian for love.”
“So it is a drug.”
She nodded reluctantly, knowing my tangled relationship with drugs, doctors, and being called crazy.
In the past, I was crazy, and no one had a cure.
Now, I was sane and could balance my nature so I could function in the real world. I wouldn’t jeopardise that for fucking anything.
Screwing the bottle shut, I shoved it at her. “I’m happy to fuck you in whatever position you want. We’ll get the hounds and Wings and go for a run in the woods if that’s what you’re after. I will never say no to you, nor would I ever want to. But...I’m not taking any substance. Especially something that Sullivan has cooked. He’s too proficient at creating things that actually work, unlike the other big pharma with their useless promises.”
“This is different.” She rolled the bottle in her fingers. “It won’t change you. It doesn’t do a thing apart from work on what’s already between us.” Crawling on her hands and knees, she didn’t stop until she splayed her legs on either side of my hips and straddled me.
The instant her body heat came close, my instincts kicked in, and our lust that always infected us sprang into full attention. Grabbing her hips, I pushed her down, rocking her along my rapidly hardening cock.
Her eyes hooded, placing her hands on my shoulders and bending to kiss her way along my throat. “It’s an aphrodisiac.”
I chuckled darkly, thrusting my erection against the seam of her jeans. “Does it feel like I need an aphrodisiac? You are the only thing I need to get hard.”
“I know.” She writhed on me, making my head swim. “But I also know that you can’t fully be in your own thoughts. You feel me. You feel whoever is close by. Your thoughts are always stretched in so many directions through no fault of your own. And I want...” She licked her way up my neck, making me groan. “I want to give you a night where the only thing you think about is how much you want to fuck me.”