Ronin made me so proud. Even in his weakest moment, he proved he was still my rock. Perfection wasn’t strength. Righting your wrongs took more strength than anything. You were lucky to dodge the hits. Getting back up after being knocked down showed immeasurable strength and courage.
“You’re my superhero.”
He returned a sad smile, sitting up and dangling his feet from the opposite side of the bed. “We have a few rough days ahead of us.”
Us.
Ronin knew it was, had been, and always would be us.
“We’ve got this. Just let me ski backward until you find your balance.”
CHAPTER THIRTY
Ronin
One month later …
Madeline died.
I got better, and then she died. It was as if the universe was waiting for me to be strong enough to take care of my wife during her grieving. I knew it would hit her hard, even with having so many months to emotionally prepare for the loss. However, no one imagined Corey’s reaction.
Evie’s dad didn’t shed one tear.
Not. One. Single. Tear.
Until … she stopped breathing.
That was why his reaction knocked everyone back a few steps.
Graham made sure Katie got to Denver in time to be by her mom’s side along with Corey and Evelyn.
“I wouldn’t change a thing.” Those were Madeline’s last words.
Corey spent years being strong for her. So when he buckled over her lifeless body and wept, Katie and Evie left the room to give him his moment. They stood in the hallway and held each other, crying for him. Not for their mom—for him.
That was what we did. We grieved for the living, for those who still felt the pain, for those who would spend the rest of their lives desperately missing the ones who left us behind.
A week after the funeral, Corey packed one bag.
One. Single. Bag.
He left for California to be near Katie because she and Tanner were trying again to get pregnant, and he knew Madeline would have wanted him to help Katie the way they had helped us when Franz and Anya were babies. We felt certain he went back to California too because his parents were still alive, and he needed them. We never stopped needing our parents.
“You should take a few days and go through your mom’s stuff,” I suggested, playing on the floor with Anya and Franz while Evie did some bookkeeping on her laptop.
She shook her head. “I’m not ready. Dad said he’s in no hurry to put the house on the market. Besides, I want Katie to do it with me, and she has her mind on other things right now. Maybe if she gets pregnant and feels okay, we can go through everything. Maybe Dad will change his mind and decide to go through stuff with us.”
Madeline wanted her family to bury her and move on. I knew she never imagined them moving on by just abandoning her house and everything inside of it. But … it wasn’t my place to push anyone.
“Okay.” I perfected the agreeable husband role. We had survived a lot of monumental stuff, the other stuff just had to slide.
“Are you going to a meeting this afternoon?”
“Yes, dear.” I continued to do the work—followed doctor’s orders, never missed therapy, and attended group meetings once a week.
“I might take the kids to the library while you’re at your meeting. Then we can meet for dinner. How does that sound?”
“Oomph!” I grunted as Anya jumped on my stomach and squealed,“Da-eee!”
“Sounds like a plan,” I replied as I tickled my little wrestling princess. “I’m going to take a hike first. Who’s in?”
“It’s supposed to rain.” Evie gave me a narrow-eyed look over the screen of her computer.
“Is that a no?”
She laughed. “It’s a you’re crazy and we’re not. Have fun getting wet.”
“Mommy’s no fun.” I nuzzled my face into Anya’s tummy as Franz jumped onto my back, wrapping his arms around my neck. He continued to hold on as I stood. “Looks like I might have a tagalong after all.” I walked toward the bedroom to change my clothes as Franz hung from my neck like a cape, making it a bit challenging to breathe.
“Franz can’t go anywhere until he picks up the toys in his room,” Evelyn called.
“Told ya … Mommy’s no fun,” I whispered, and it made Franz giggle as I dumped his monkey body onto the bed.
After three miles on my favorite trail, I turned around just as it started to sprinkle. The trip down was always quicker, unless the terrain got too slick from the rain. I glanced at my watch, keeping an eye on the time so I didn’t miss my meeting. Then I took a quick swig from my canteen.
Spitting the water out, I coughed. But when I tried to catch my breath, it felt like I couldn’t breathe. Yet … I was breathing. I clawed at my nose and mouth as if something was suffocating me, but nothing was there. Panic set in, and I felt a sense of fear … not just physical fear, but emotional fear.