I thought it because one couldn’t control their thoughts. But I never would have said the words aloud. That was in my realm of control. Putting those words out there for the world to hear made them too real.
“You’d be it, Evelyn. You’d be the only person I have left.” Graham didn’t cry, but I saw his unshed tears. I heard the weight of them heavy in his voice.
His only person? How could that be? He was the governor! Rich beyond words. And surrounded by family. Arguing these points would have played into his notion that Lila wasn’t going to make it. I couldn’t do that.
And … I needed to find my husband.
Releasing Graham’s shirt, I turned back toward Dr. Allyn. “I want to know the second my husband is in a room.”
She returned an easy nod and kind smile. “Absolutely.”
Graham shadowed me as I paced the space between the desk and waiting room.
“A truce …” I shook my head. “An olive branch. I just wanted to make things right between all of us. How did it end like this? And …” I stopped, looking up at Graham. “How did she get off the run? Where were you and Ronin? I … I just don’t understand.”
His eyebrows knitted together. “We turned left after we got off the lift. Lila went right. By the time Ronin noticed she wasn’t behind us, it was too late. The run was closed.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It. Was. Closed. I … I don’t know why she ignored the signs … the fencing … but she did.” He sighed slowly and heavily. “She’s always said that rules were made to be broken.”
On a tiny headshake, I averted my gaze to the side. “After we got our first tattoos…” I twisted my wrist and ran my thumb over the carbon atom “…we vowed to break rules that held us back from really living.” Biting my upper lip, I grunted. “I’m going to have a serious talk with her when she gets out of surgery. It’s time to rethink that vow.”
“If she gets out,” Graham corrected me.
If …
“Mrs. Alexander?”
I turned toward Dr. Allyn.
“Your husband is in a room. You can see him now.”
“Want me to come with you?” Graham asked.
“Not yet. I need a minute alone with him.”
He grabbed the back of my head and kissed the top of it. “Okay.”
As I entered Ronin’s room, he forced a lopsided smile. “Evie …”
“What the hell, Roe?” I took his hand and kissed his face all over before nuzzling my nose into his neck just to feel his warmth, a reminder that his heart was beating, moving blood, facilitating breaths, loving me …
“How’s Lila?”
I sat on the edge of his bed, keeping a firm hold of his hand. “Still in surgery. What happened to you? What did they find out? Ronin …” My words broke as I lifted his hand to my lips. “Y-you stopped b-breathing.” I couldn’t stop my emotions.
“Shh …” He pulled our linked hands to his chest.
I rested my cheek next to him, counting every heartbeat.
“My heart paused for a few seconds. That’s all.”
“Don’t …” I squeaked out as more tears flowed from tired eyes. “Don’t downplay this. Someone has to explain this to me. What aren’t you telling me?”
“Am I interrupting?” Another doctor peeked her head around the corner, tucking her ebony hair behind her ear, revealing her perfect brown skin and kind eyes. “I’m Dr. Waters.” She held out her hand to me.
“Evelyn.” I released Ronin’s hand and shook Dr. Waters’ hand. “Please tell me you know what’s wrong with Ronin.”
She returned a slight grimace, hugging her tablet to her chest. “I don’t yet. Everything came back within normal range. We’re going to keep running tests and go over a thorough medical history, Ronin. We’ll continue to monitor your heart. If we don’t see anything abnormal, you can go home in a day or so. However, I’d like you to wear a heart monitor over the next few weeks. At this point, we don’t know what caused your heart to stop beating.”
“How can you not know?” I stood, raising my voice because we weren’t talking about a mysterious rash or a high fever.
He. Stopped. Breathing!
“Evelyn.” Ronin grabbed my wrist. “It’s not her fault.”
Dr. Waters rubbed her lips together, waiting for the right time to speak, or maybe she was searching for the right words to say.
“If this were your husband, your father, a son, or a best friend, wouldn’t you need to know? Wouldn’t you stop at nothing to figure out why this happened? How am I supposed to take him home with no idea if or when his heart could stop again? We have two children. They can’t watch their father die!”
She mirrored the anguish I felt—which was probably plastered to my face. I appreciated that, but it solved nothing. I had family and friends to offer sympathy. Dr. Waters needed to give me more. She needed to give me answers and solutions.