“He asked me to quit my job.” Lila helped me package the bars of soap in my lab, and by helped, I meant she did it while I sat on one stool with my feet up on another stool because they were achy and swollen.
Three weeks to go until my due date. A boy … we were having a boy, just like Ronin wanted. A boy then a girl.
“He married you.” I thought back to the day of their wedding and the situation I encountered that would forever be burned into my memory.
What Graham said to Lila.
The bloody shrill of her screaming his name.
“But in spite of anything he’s ever said to you, he doesn’t own you. Not your decisions and not your job.”
He didn’t own her ass either (without permission and lube), but I didn’t go there.
With her back to me, she continued packaging the bars of soap. I didn’t feel bad letting her do all the work. My little lab was a sanctuary for her. She visited when she needed a time-out from life. There was something therapeutic about making soaps and turning herbs into essential oils. Maybe the scents that infiltrated the air calmed her. They always calmed me.
“When he’s happy, I’m happy. That’s not wrong, is it?”
I thought about her words for a bit before answering. “No. It’s not wrong unless he can’t say the same thing about you. It’s beautiful that you feel so connected to his happiness, that it fulfills something in your own life. I feel that way about Ronin. But I know he feels the same way about me. Hell, that’s one of the reasons we’re even married. He was a carefree bachelor who loved to travel the world, living job to job. I was a game changer for him. He wanted to be with me and share in my life and my happiness more than he wanted to continue down that same uninterrupted path. My happiness matters to him.”
“I’m happy.” She shrugged.
“You haven’t quit your job. If you quit tomorrow, will you be able to say the same thing in six months? And if you quit, are you doing it because it’s what you want or what Graham wants?”
“Both. I told you. He said it would make him happy to have me experience this with him, being by his side like a partner. He’s serving the people. He has the opportunity to do great things and make a difference. Why wouldn’t I want to do this with him?”
I chuckled. “I don’t know. Why wouldn’t you? And for the record, Lila, it’s me. You can speak freely. You can be selfish. It’s not wrong to choose your dreams over public service. I make soaps. Sure, they keep people clean, but I’m not exactly saving lives, feeding the hungry, or housing the homeless. Should I feel bad about that?”
“Maybe.” She turned toward me, leaning against the counter. Her lips turned up into a small grin. “Maybe you could do more, Evie.”
The wheels in my head spun because our conversation punched me in the gut with a solid dose of reality. I needed to do more. Maybe plant a tree for every gift box I sold. Or for every bar of soap someone purchased, I could donate a bar of soap. Something … I needed to do something that felt bigger than myself or my customers. The ski patrol discount (yes, that happened) wasn’t enough.
“You’re right. I’m going to do more. But I’m not going to close my shop to do it. I love my shop and my customers. I love what I do. So I’m going to figure out a way to do more by using what I love as a vehicle for change. Maybe you could do something with your job.”
“Graham wants us to work together. And he’s governor now. He doesn’t have an engineering degree.”
“But he owns businesses. You could work together in a way that incorporates both of your strengths—”
“Evie …” Lila smiled, easing her head side to side. “I appreciate where you’re trying to go with this. It’s why we’re best friends. But I’m okay with changing directions in my life. Graham won’t be governor forever. This is where our lives have taken us right now. I don’t think it’s wrong of me to seize the opportunity to use my new position to make a difference.”
She made it sound so right. I just wasn’t sure if those words were truly hers or regurgitated from Graham’s mouth.
“Then I support your decision … unless the next thing you’re going to tell me is that you won’t have time for me or to be an aunt to this little baby boy in my belly.”
“Don’t be saying stupid shit like that. You know I’m going to take every opportunity to spoil my nephew.”
“But are you going to give your nephew a cousin?” I tilted my head to the side.