Jessica looked around the room, fighting back all the emotions. “Thank you. I feel the same way about every one of you.”
Luke’s hand rested on hers for a moment. She blinked and it was gone, but the way his touch lingered paralyzed her.
They passed around the food. Chattering about kids, the weather, and football ensued. Jessica focused on her mashed potatoes as if she’d never seen them before.
“So, Jess, are you planning on staying in San Francisco or going back to Omaha?” Tom asked.
And just like that … all her illusions vanished and reality hit her as cold as the still familiar five-gallon buckets of ice water. Luke let her stay. He wasn’t taking her back. They weren’t “together” and everyone knew it except her.
The potatoes demanded her attention again. She pushed them around on her plate, knowing she’d never be able to take a bite of them with her heart lodged in her throat.
“Um … I guess I haven’t … I mean …”
“It’s fine. I was just asking. I’m sure it’s too soon to know what you want.”
She risked a glance. “I guess.”
Not even bound and beaten had Jessica ever felt so weak. The thought of a future without Luke sucked every bit of life from her existence.
She gutted down the food on her plate, which was a shame since Felicity’s skills rivaled her own mother’s cooking.
“Keep eating,” Luke whispered for the millionth time.
“If you say that to me one more time I’m going to jab this fork in your eye.” She gritted between her teeth with a fake smile to everyone else still sitting at the table. Half of the family had excused themselves to fall into a holiday coma in the living room.
“Dessert?” Felicity asked.
Jessica ignored Luke’s yes-you-want-dessert look. “Can I wait a little while?”
“Certainly. I think the kids are antsy to open their presents anyway … and by kids I mean Liam and Lake. I think they’re more excited than Gina, and Caleb is too young to understand.”
Jessica pushed back in her chair. Luke stared at her.
“Don’t give me that look. I’ll eat the whole damn pie later, just …” She sighed.
He grabbed her wrist before she could get away. “You’re upset with me.”
No. She wasn’t upset. Fucking livid and emotionally broken beyond the destruction of an atomic bomb was a more accurate description.
“I just want to see you get healthier.”
“I am. I’m not upset. I’m just full. Okay?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t.” She didn’t intend to have an edge to her tone, but she did. “If I’m not allowed to apologize, then neither are you.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
*
They’d planned on staying three days. Luke questioned if it was too long. Jessica seemed distant and angry, but only with him. He couldn’t figure out what he’d done to upset her.
“Would you look at this?” Tom said, staring out the back window.
Luke yawned, pouring a cup of coffee, desperate for a jolt. It was only six in the morning, but he couldn’t sleep with Jessica on his mind. He hadn’t slept much since she showed up at his door.
“I told her I planned on chopping some wood this weekend. She’s about finished a day’s worth of work in … hell, I’m not sure. What time do you think she got up?”
Jessica brought the large ax behind her then swinging it over her head, she killed the log in front of her.
“Think she’s cold?”
A pair of faded jeans hung too lose from her thin frame. A black T-shirt clung to her sweaty torso. She wore work gloves and a red beanie too. The still unfamiliar blond hair hung in a low pony tail over her right shoulder.
“I doubt it, but she shouldn’t be doing that. Her shoulder isn’t ready.”
Tom chuckled. “There’s a six-foot stack of chopped wood out there that says otherwise.”
“You should tell her to come inside.”
“Me?”
Luke sipped his coffee. “Yes. She won’t take it well coming from me.”
“Bad?”
“Not good. I don’t know how to talk to her or what to say. I’m so damn afraid she’s going to leave.”
“She should talk to my son. I hear he’s a brilliant psychiatrist.”
“Some days I think I’m the one who needs a psychiatrist.”
“Why don’t you?”
“I’m not ready to think about me yet. I need to know that she’s going to be okay.”
Tom put his hand on Luke’s shoulder. “Maybe she needs you to be okay first.”
Luke didn’t respond. He knew there was truth to his dad’s words. His fear held him back from being okay.
“I’ll drag her skinny ass inside.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
*
“I’m not going to have an excuse to duck out on laundry this weekend if you chop all that wood.”
Jessica dropped the ax and wiped her brow, smearing dirt along her forehead. “Sorry. I feel out of shape and Dr. Eat and Don’t Exercise won’t let me do anything because of a few little injuries that are just fine.”