He closed his eyes and sighed. “I don’t know how to navigate this. You’re welcome to stay here. You know that, right?”
“I don’t … I don’t know anything anymore. I didn’t even know if you would be alone tonight.”
He flinched.
“I’m not being cruel, or at least I’m not trying to be. The day I died, I gave up my right to walk uninvited into your home. I gave up the right to know what you’re doing and whom you’re with.”
“I’m here, with Jones.”
“I wanted you to move on. Not for me or any sort of guilt. I just wanted you to be happy. That day in the closet, you promised me you would.”
He lifted his shoulders. “I tried, but then I saw a ghost.”
Jessica wanted to tell him everything, but she couldn’t. Not yet. AJ still lived in her heart and sharing that time with Luke would require her to let AJ go completely. When she opened herself up to Luke, he would flow into every inch of her heart and take everything. That was the only way she could be with him.
Everything.
Forever.
“Can I stay? For tonight?”
“Stay as long as you want.” He turned and walked toward the bedroom. “The sheets in the guest room are clean, unless Jones has been on the bed. Sleep wherever you feel comfortable sleeping.”
After saying goodbye to AJ, there was nothing she wanted more than a warm body next to hers. She followed him down the hall. He turned into the master bedroom, and she continued to the guest room.
Having nothing but the clothes on her back, she stripped down to her undergarments and slid under the sheets. “Get up here, Jonesy.”
He lumbered onto the bed, taking up most of it. She threw an arm and leg over his mammoth body and nuzzled into his neck. “Thank you for taking care of him,” she whispered.
*
Morning came too soon. Luke didn’t wake up, he just got out of bed. Jessica being under the same roof again made it impossible to sleep. Jackson called after he dropped her off at the airport, asking Luke to just “be there” for her. She went to Portland to say goodbye to AJ. At some point he planned on allowing his own feelings to surface, but they would wait.
After a shower he decided to make coffee. The moment he walked around the corner to the kitchen, he stopped. The unfamiliar blonde sat at the table wearing nothing but the familiar red hoodie, her legs tucked up into it, the extra six inches of sleeves doubled as hot pads for her coffee. With her back to him, she stared out the large windows, taking the occasional sip of her steamy morning jolt.
He hated the color of her hair. He hated that another man had loved her body and her heart. He hated that she sat ten feet away and yet she felt so out of reach. If he dwelled on all the things he hated, it would make it impossible to love her. And if he only chose to do one thing for the rest of his life … it would be to love her.
“I missed this view.” Of course she knew he was there.
She missed his car, the dog, and the view. Did she miss him?
“It’s a breathtaking view today.” Luke poured a cup of coffee then leaned against the counter with his legs crossed at his ankles. “Jones has slobbered and chewed on that sweatshirt for nearly a year.”
She scooted around to face him. “I just slipped it on. I only have the clothes I had on yesterday. Today might be a shopping day for me.”
He hid behind his coffee cup so she didn’t see the guilt on his face, the everything-you-owned-is-exactly-where-you-left-it-in-our-closet look.
“It’s Friday. I hope you didn’t take the day off on my account.”
A breathy laugh accompanied Luke’s grin. “I’ve had the whole week off. I flew to Chicago a week ago today.”
Jessica narrowed her eyes a bit.
“Then I rented a car and drove to Omaha.”
“What was in Omaha?”
He sipped his coffee then rubbed his lips together. “Come to find out … not much.”
“You should have looked me up. I could have given you the ten-cent tour.”
“Mmm … why didn’t I think of that?”
Jessica stared at her coffee. “You came for me,” she whispered.
“I came for you.”
“You could have died.” She looked up.
He nodded.
Setting her coffee down, she stood. “I’m going to shower then go buy a few things to wear, maybe some makeup to hide my scars and soften the appearance of my gaunt-looking face until I can gain a little weight. I look hideous.”
“You’re—”
“So help me, Jones … if you even think of trying to compliment my looks, I will make sure your face matches mine.”
He looked her body up and down, taking note of how much muscle mass she’d lost. “I think for the first time ever I could take you on.”