“I can’t watch her die.” His soul bled into his red eyes.
Her hands clenched his hair like his words did to her heart. “Then don’t.” She released his hair and traced the lines of his face as he closed his eyes. “Watch her live.”
He opened his eyes, brows drawn tightly.
“She’s strong, so much stronger than anyone can imagine. I know you and your family don’t see it, but I do. I recognize that strength. I know you think I’m a fighter, but I’m nothing compared to her. She’s healing … just be patient and let her body heal. When she wakes up you’ll be here to help heal her heart.”
“It’s going to break her.”
Jessica shook her head. “Ben’s death and her leg … it will crush her, but it won’t completely break her. You won’t let that happen.” She kissed him. “And if I’m wrong, if it breaks her … we’ll love every single piece of her.”
He smiled. “Those were my words to you.”
“You have a way with words.”
“I have a way with you.”
Jessica shoved him onto his back, covering his body with hers. Capturing his bottom lip, she dragged it through her teeth, baring a sly grin. They’d come so far, so far she’d slit her wrists before drawing a drop of blood from his beautiful skin.
“I don’t want you to have a way with me.” She sat up and so did he. Lifting her hips, she inched onto him, both of their breaths catching, waiting, begging time to stop. “I want you to have your way with me.”
And he did.
They banned all clothing and interaction with the outside world for the rest of the weekend, with the exception of Luke’s phone which they agreed he would only answer if it was his family calling, but they never called.
*
Lake’s condition didn’t change over the next two weeks. Jessica believed with everything inside her that Lake would live. Luke took her optimism and fed it to his parents every day, just enough to keep them going. They needed him, his medical background, his patience, and his reassurance. He became their lifeline. Although Jessica missed the them they had for one amazing weekend, she knew his family needed him.
Early on a Friday morning, she drummed her fingers on the keys of her computer at work without actually pressing any of them. Between the almost-wedding and Lake’s accident, she’d fallen behind with work. Her concentration was nonexistent and the fact that it was Friday made it even more difficult to feel motivated.
Her impatient tapping brought up her calendar. She sighed at all the appointments and dates that lead up to the wedding. The following weekend was blocked out for “honeymoon in?” because Luke wanted to surprise her. She never did ask where he’d planned on taking her. It didn’t matter.
She stared at her P day. H days were for hair appointments. C days were for teaching self-defense classes. V days were for taking Jones to the vet. But P day was the start of her period, which according to her calendar was ten days late.
“Shit.” Having children with Luke was high on her life’s priorities, but the timing was all wrong. She wanted to share that kind of news when he could jump up and down, squealing like a little girl. That would never happen, but the visual brought a smile to her face and that smile felt good.
Bugging out of work early, Jessica stopped by the drug store for a pregnancy test. If it was positive she wasn’t going to tell Luke until Lake came out of her coma, if it was negative she wasn’t going to tell him at all. That’s why she took the test, all three of them, in the bathroom at the drug store. No evidence needed to go home with her.
Pee wait.
Pee wait.
Pee wait.
No more pee. No more tests. She waited.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Knight
“They were all negative.”
Luke blinked, diverting his gaze away from hers. She couldn’t read him. Disappointment? Relief?
“I would not have left with your child. I wouldn’t have taken something like that away from you.”
“But you did.”
She flinched. Another stab to her heart.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it to sound that way.”
“I deserve it.”
“You don’t.”
“I left, but more than that, I left you behind. I didn’t have to, I chose to.”
“I understand.”
“I don’t want you to understand.” Anger flared in her words, sending tears of regret down her face. “I don’t want your compassion, I don’t want your forgiveness, I don’t want your …” She bit her lips together.
“My what? My love?”
She nodded, squeezing her eyes shut.
“That’s not your choice. It’s mine. Don’t ever ask me to not love you.”
“I’m so tired,” she whispered, keeping her eyes closed.
“Jess?” His voice cracked.
More tears found their way out.
“I need you to live.”
“I’m already dead. You know that. I saw you … at my funeral.”