“Lake wanted to introduce them to Ben’s parents then they’ll be here.”
“I like his parents. Jessica and I met them two weeks ago when Lake invited us to Ben’s birthday dinner.”
“We do too. They’ve stayed with us twice in Tahoe and while I don’t want Lake thinking about marriage before she’s done with college, I hope he’s the one. What would be the chances of all of my kids marrying such wonderful people?”
“Zero.”
They turned to Jessica’s voice.
“But maybe over time you’ll learn to love me anyway.”
“Shut up, half pint, and get your skinny ass over here.” Tom hugged Jessica, lifting her off the ground.
“Tom Jones. God, I love me some Tom Jones.”
“Let her go, Thomas, before you chafe her perfect skin with your scruffy face that you will be shaving Saturday morning.”
“Yes, dear.” He set Jessica back on her feet.
“Louise.” Felicity grinned.
“Thelma.” Jessica hugged her.
“Not this again.” Luke rolled his eyes at their Thelma and Louise thing. He didn’t know why they did it, and whenever he asked they both replied, “It’s our little secret.”
“So what’s Gabe got lined up for us tonight? Titty bars or a private ‘dancer?’”
“What?” Jessica perched her ass on the counter, shock in her wide eyes, but not the kind that most brides-to-be would have at the thought of their fiancé watching strippers. Her shock was an offended shock, but for an entirely different reason.
“I offered to get you a stripper for you bachelor party, but you said no. What that hell?”
“Jess—”
“You offered to get him a stripper?” Tom asked.
“Yes. Titty Tina. She used to do marathons with us, but then she messed up her ankle. I saw her last month at the store and Oh. My. She has some serious new jugs. Of course, I didn’t say anything but she just came out and told me. Now get this …”
Luke narrowed his eyes at his parents who were completely enthralled in Jessica’s story.
“She’s twenty-five and decided to go back to law school and she’s paying for her new boobies and school by stripping at private parties.” Jessica shrugged. “I guess she’s really good and a lot of rich guys pay a shitload of money to hire her. Anyway, back to my original point. I told her about Luke and I getting married, and she offered to do his bachelor party for half-price.”
Everyone’s attention shifted to Luke.
“Don’t look at me like that. All of you, stop giving me that look. Tina competed with us, a teammate of sorts. I’m not going to watch her strip for me.”
“Gabe said he’d be willing to check out her new ‘gear’ and Kelly is fine with it. She’s a nice girl, Luke.”
Luke shook his head. Why did not wanting a stripper for his bachelor party make him into some bad guy in, of all people, his fiancée’s eyes? Only Jessica …
“It doesn’t matter now. We’re going to a sports bar, having a few beers, and watching a game or two. Even Jude was opposed to the stripper.”
“Excuse me?” Jessica’s look of shock returned.
“It’s true. He said real men don’t have to pay to see women naked.”
“He misspoke. What he meant was real men don’t have to pay for sex. Stripping is different. Women don’t strip for him then put their clothes back on and leave. They get paid using the barter system. We’re no different. If I strip for you, I expect something in return. Does that make you ‘not a real man?’ No, of course not.”
Luke didn’t know who to address first: his parents enjoying the back and forth like a good tennis match or Jessica implying that she strips for him to get paid using the barter system. Why did his dad have to mention titty bars and private dancers?
“I will discuss our barter system with you later, in private,” Luke said before turning his attention to his dad. “And this is all a moot point because Gabe will be here soon to pick us up. There will be a limo, plenty of alcohol, but no naked women.”
Tom saluted Luke. “Yes, sir.”
Felicity rested her hand on Jessica’s leg as they both laughed. Separately they were manageable, but his parents and Jessica in the same room always ended with Luke being embarrassed or on the verge of being committed.
“The bachelorette party tonight has a male stripper, right?” his mom asked.
“Absolutely,” Jessica grinned at Luke. “Hope you brought lots of cash, Thelma.”
*
Luke survived his bachelor party. Even with the surprise stripper that arrived in the private room Gabe rented at their final bar destination of the night. Thankfully it wasn’t Titty Tina, just a random girl he would hopefully never see again. She gave both he and Tom lap dances, and like the good Jones men they were, they kept their hands to themselves.
“Goodnight, son.” Tom pulled him in for an awkward drunk hug before staggering to the guest room.