As the sun first announced its presence, AJ shifted to scoot a sleeping Jillian off his chest. She felt large hands around her arms and became aware of her naked body. Large hands gripping her arms. Naked arms. Naked body. Her pounding heart sounded like an alarm. “Sorry, doll … but you were an unexpected surprise. Two for one.”
“Fuck! Goddammit! Oh … fucking, fucking hell!” AJ roared.
“What the heck?” Jackson’s voice drew near.
Jillian rapidly blinked as everything came into focus. Her naked body sat astride his. AJ’s face was covered in blood—blood on his hands that were cupping his nose, blood on the sheets, blood everywhere.
“Sorry … I’m so sorry …”
“Get dressed.” Jackson pulled her off AJ. “Let me see.”
AJ shook his head, one hand stayed on his nose while the other grabbed for the sheet to cover his naked body.
“Jesus, AJ, just let me see!” Jackson pulled AJ’s hand away from his nose. “Looks broken and you’re bleeding … a lot. Jillian, get a towel and some ice.”
Jillian stood naked behind Jackson like a statue. She couldn’t move, not even a blink.
Jackson looked over his shoulder. “Jillian! Get some ice and a towel. Then get your ass dressed.”
She swallowed and nodded slowly.
“I’m fine.” AJ pulled himself up to sitting. More blood gushed from his nose.
“You’re not, but you will be after we take you to the hospital.”
Jillian returned with several towels and a bag of ice. “Oh God …” she grimaced seeing AJ’s crooked, bloody nose “…I’m so sorry.”
He glared at her as Jackson brought the towel and ice to AJ’s nose.
“Get his clothes,” Jackson said.
“He just came over in shorts. No shoes or shirt.”
“Just grab him something of mine.”
Two hours later they left the emergency room. AJ’s nose was reset and the bleeding finally stopped. Jillian had been incessant with her apologies, but AJ ignored her.
“It’s been a long night, Jill. Just leave him alone. He’ll come around,” Jackson whispered as they walked to the car.
“He won’t even look at me.”
“Give. It. Time.”
Jillian stared out her window the whole way home. Emotions blurred in her head like the city lights that passed by. Before Jackson had Woody in park, AJ hopped out and walked home.
“Don’t,” Jackson called as Jillian chased him.
“Go home,” AJ mumbled.
“AJ—”
He turned. “You broke my fucking nose!”
Jillian blinked back her emotions and nodded once. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let you stay.”
“No. You shouldn’t have broken my nose.”
“I was startled.”
“By me?”
“By my past.”
AJ closed his eyes and exhaled. “I’m not going to ask … I just … don’t want to deal with it.”
“I wouldn’t tell you if you did.”
He turned and opened his front door.
“I didn’t bite you—” she murmured the words as if they mattered.
AJ turned.
“Or claw you,” she whispered.
AJ laughed a little. “Tell my nose that.”
*
The whiney first two stairs creaked announcing Jillian’s arrival back home. He waited for her, knowing it wouldn’t be long. No man with even half a testicle would let a woman break his nose then crawl into his bed.
Her posture sagged under a cloak of self-deprecation. “Break my nose,” she mumbled, eyes cast downward.
“I’m not breaking your nose.” Jackson unwrapped his hands.
She glanced up in confusion. “What are you doing?”
“We’re not sparring. I thought you needed it, but now I see you just want me to punish you.” He shook his head and walked past her. “I know you won’t fight back. You’ll stand there and let me beat the shit out of you. No thanks.”
“Do you like your life here?”
Jackson paused halfway up the stairs. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because it means I’m alive.”
“Ask me.” The sadness in her voice suffocated all other emotion.
“No.”
“Why not?”
He closed his eyes. Why did she do this to him? Why did she do this to herself? “Because I know what you’ll say.”
“Then tell me.”
“No.” He continued up the stairs.
“Tell me!”
Leaning against the wall at the top of the stairs, he gently tapped the side of his head against it. “Do you like living here? No. Why? Because it means you’re alive. Happy now?” He felt her at his back.
“What if I never find it again?”
Jackson turned, wrapping his arms around her body as she sank into him. “You won’t find it again. What you had with Luke happens once in a lifetime. But I think you’ll find something different … something good.”
She traced the cross tattoo on his arm. “When?”
“When you stop replaying your past.”
“AJ hates me.”
“He doesn’t. But could you blame him if he did?”
“His face is going to scare people for quite some time. His eyes are going to be black and blue, and he’s going to catch shit from everyone when they find out a girl broke his nose.”
Jackson chuckled. “Yeah, that won’t be happening. He’ll say something like he singlehandedly saved Omaha from a terrorist attack, but I can promise you he won’t be telling anyone you broke his nose.”