Chapter Nineteen
Knight
Days passed and again it appeared as though AJ had vanished. Jillian helped with the grounds upkeep during the day and sold battery-operated sex by night. She took punishing runs sometimes as late as midnight and sparred with Jackson until her bones melted into jelly under her fatigued muscles.
While her brother seemed to be flourishing in his role as Jackson Knight, Jillian warred with her emotions until her world spiraled on the edge of control. She hated Luke for making her love him. She hated Jackson for making her live. She hated AJ for making her care.
“Great night for a ride,” Stan hollered over the rumble of her Harley’s engine.
Jillian smiled and slipped on her helmet, grateful for a night to herself.
“I’ll leave the notes from the association meeting here on your work bench.”
She nodded again then pulled out of her garage. With less-than-perfect timing, AJ made an appearance. Getting out of his jeep, he signaled for her to stop. Jillian flipped him the bird and kept going with a fuck-all-men attitude that had been brewing for months. They weren’t necessary anyway, and she had a catalog full of PPDs to prove it.
Shortly after finding some open road she tracked a black jeep in her mirror. A full tank of gas assured she wouldn’t be stopping to listen to his meaningless words for many miles. AJ followed her, keeping a safe distance for close to two hours before she stopped at a lookout point up a gravel road atop a bluff.
“I’m not in the mood,” Jillian said as she pulled off her helmet, looking out over miles of grassy terrain in the shadows of the sunset.
AJ stood behind her, keeping his distance. “I’m sorry.”
His words brushed her nerves like sandpaper. “I’m not. I only regret not actually breaking your nose and a couple of ribs.”
“Jill—”
“Don’t!” She turned. “Go fuck somebody else today. I’m not in the mood for your crap.”
“I’m not your knight in shining armor.” AJ pumped his fists. He did it often.
Of course he wasn’t. Her knight wore argyle socks. “I’m not Cinderella.”
The tension between them built. It always did. It was undeniable, uncontrollable, and unpredictable.
“I hurt my wife,” AJ gritted each word through clenched teeth. It was pain woven with anger.
“I hurt everyone I touch.” She spoke with resolution, stating a fact without apology. Acquitting herself of responsibility came too easy. She surprised herself with just how well those old victim’s shoes fit.
“I’ll hurt you.” He swallowed hard, each breath coming faster.
“I’d like to see you try.” She took two long strides and fisted his T-shirt, pulling him to her lips.
The kiss was hard, sensual, and desperate. Their hands warred as each fought for the other one’s clothes—pushing, pulling, tugging. AJ lifted her up to his waist and she wrapped her legs around him. Leaving her black jacket and both of their shirts in the dirt, he shuffled to the passenger’s side of his jeep with his jeans at his ankles.
“You…” he breathed heavily setting her sideways in the passenger’s seat “…I need to fuck you today.”
Her own breath chased his as he tugged off her right boot, dropping it to the ground as she lifted her ass to let him peel down her jeans and panties, releasing them from the same leg. AJ stepped between her open thighs at the edge of the Jeep. Their eyes locked with the intensity of two wild animals tracking each other’s every move. Jillian curled her fingers around the waistband of his briefs and slid them down. The moment she took his erection in her hand he rested his hands on the roof and dropped his chin to his chest, lips parted while he watched her stroke him.
Jillian’s eyes flitted between her hand and the large muscles of his torso and arms flexed like steel as he rocked his pelvis towards her. The high that shot through her veins from seeing him like that was dangerously intoxicating. But it didn’t satiate her need to make him bleed, and for that she felt a pang of nostalgia as Luke’s voice seeped from her conscience.
AJ’s eyes grew heavy as she tightened her grip, circling her thumb over the engorged head of his erection. “I’m going to make you bleed and then you can fuck me,” she whispered, and for the first time her words held an edge of regret … a breath of shame. Once again, he made her care.
He met her gaze, brushed the pad of his thumb across her bottom lip, then nodded once as he slid his hand behind her head and claimed her mouth. Only a self-loathing man would offer himself to a monster. She clawed at his skin as though the earth was trying to bury her alive—desperate, lost. AJ released her mouth as she gasped for air a split second before digging her teeth into the muscled flesh of his shoulder.