“Your shorts are too short.” The authoritative intonation of his voice felt like a tongue dragging over every pleasurable nerve ending in her body.
“Too short for what? You, Sergeant Monaghan?”
“We don’t have a club house or swimming pool. Why the bikini top?” AJ clenched his fists as Jillian moved her feet between his. Her cleavage-bared chest pressed against his stomach.
“Is my body appalling to you, Sarge?”
“The old men in this neighborhood don’t need to have their wives pissed at them all day because the new neighbor gets her mail wearing a little bit of nothing.” His voice escalated with each word as it muffled into pure grit.
“Sarge, are you upset about my mail-retrieving attire or that I get the mail after you’ve already left for work?”
He narrowed his eyes.
“Because you’ve already seen more than the other neighbors.”
AJ maintained a scowl, but his deep swallow gave him away.
“How’s your lip?”
The tip of his tongue instinctively glided over the small red spot that was still there. “Tell me. Are you one of those kinky dominatrixes that like it rough?”
Jillian twisted her lips and rolled her eyes, diverting her gaze from his. “Hmm … no, that’s not an accurate assessment.” Dr. Jones ruled out that possibility years ago.
“And why is that?”
She yanked his T-shirt from his pants and snaked her hand up a few inches against his taut, bare skin. It felt warm, unmarked, and tempting.
“Because I don’t want you to submit to me,” she whispered her words like a potion meant to cast a spell.
AJ secured her ponytail in his fisted hand. “I assure you words like surrender, succumb, and submit are only under the list of things I’m incapable of doing.”
Jillian smiled. She never considered her issue an addiction, but at that moment it was powerful and all-consuming. “I’m going to bring you to your knees, Senior Master Sergeant Monaghan.”
“Only if I’m straddling your body facedown on the ground.”
Jillian heard Dr. Jones’s voice in her head, but saw Luke’s face. The duality was always present: the man who saved her and the one that set her free. She hated as much as she loved that one man possessed so much power over her. But he was gone—forever, and so was Jessica.
It’s in here, Luke would kiss her forehead, and here, he’d kiss her chest over her heart that had found love with his. Not in here, he’d lace his fingers with hers and squeeze hard until her body was the first to surrender. That ability to surrender was the greatest power anyone had ever given her, and when Jessica died, she took that power with her.
Jillian Knight could never surrender.
When Dr. Jones’s voice faded, all she could hear was her racing heart and shallow breath. The tension between Jillian and AJ could spark a blackout across Omaha. Her attraction to him was fueled by her past, but she couldn’t make sense of his unnerving mix of hate and desire, or maybe she could … she just didn’t want to.
As he held her hair tight, he lowered his lips towards her mouth. She inched her hands under his arms and up his back. There was nothing right about them. The distrust—thick. The fear—heavy. The sexual tension—suffocating.
There was no closing eyes and melting into a moment of passion.
He watched her. She watched him.
When their lips touched it went from soft to punishingly hard in an instant. Their tongues dueled like swords. Their lips vied for control. AJ jerked her ponytail back until she opened wider for him and with his other hand he gripped her ass like he was trying to rip through the denim. Jillian yanked the chain off his neck, letting it drop to the floor. Her hands made swift, precise moves with his belt. With one quick, forceful tug she snapped it completely out of the loops, a whip crack piercing the air.
It’s here … that voice.
AJ released her ass and cupped her jaw. His hand slid down to her neck and she could feel his fingers wrapping around, crushing her windpipe even though they were relaxed.
Fear.
It’s here.
Jillian’s hands navigated to his back. Don’t do it, her mind chanted. But her fingernails curled into his flesh on their own accord. AJ dragged his hand from her neck to her chest between the exposed cleavage from her bikini top. She waited for him to push the material aside exposing her hardened nipples, but he didn’t. He left the heel of his hand pressed to her sternum. Her heart tried to beat it away, but he left it there until she swore she could feel his pulse surge against hers. Slipping … her control was slipping as the moment blurred into dizzying confusion.
“Fuck!” AJ growled as he shoved her back. “Knock that shit off!”
Stumbling to a halt, eyes wide, Jillian opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Any other woman would have been flat on her back with the force he used on her. She looked down, twisting her palms up and fisting her fingers. Blood. Her nails were smeared with his blood. She closed her eyes for a brief moment.