The cursor on the screen of my laptop blinks. I’ve started my sentence a few times, only to press the backspace button and erase it. I don’t know how to tell my boss that I’m moving. It should be as simple as, “Larry, I’m moving to Chicago,” but it isn’t. There are logistics at play here such as travel, accommodations—things he’ll have to cover if I leave New York—and I’m not sure he’s willing to pay. I could always freelance, but the pay is crap.
It’s three in the morning and in the next room, Maddy is asleep. Naked. And I’m sitting at her small kitchen island staring at my screen. I should be under the sheets, pressing my body against hers but my mind is racing with fear and anticipation.
I’m excited to start a life with her.
And I fear things will never be the same.
Her apartment is small, and I can hear everything. There are people outside, walking home from a late night at the bar. They laugh and I remember Maddy and I when we’d walk back to my dorm room after we spent some time in the city. She always held onto my arm, keeping herself close. It was the best feeling in the world. Being with Maddy has always been easy, which makes my letter to Larry the easiest thing in the world to write.
Larry,
We need to talk. I’m going to spend an indefinite amount of time in Chicago.
I don’t sign it and hit send before I change my mind. My hand pulls the top of my laptop down and am surprised to find Maddy standing in the doorway to her bedroom, with nothing but the sheet covering her.
“I thought you had left,” she says in a quiet voice. Her words sting. They hurt. But she has the right to say them. I left her once before with a promise to keep in touch and I didn’t. I stand and go to her. When I’m within an arm’s reach, my hand is on her hip and pulling her toward me.
“I’m never leaving you, Maddy.” I mean it. I’m not leaving her. I can’t. In the few days I’ve been here and have seen her, I’ve never felt more at ease. More calm. It’s like she’s the sun making my universe bright and warm. My lips press to hers and instantly we deepen the kiss. My arms wrap around her and lift her gently so I can carry her back to bed.
The sheet still covers her body and even though I know every inch, I unwrap the present I’ve been given. “You’re so fucking beautiful and perfect.”
Maddy giggles a little and then says, “Thank you.” I love her and I love how she can take a compliment.
I hover over her, putting all my weight onto my hands. “I love you, Maddy.” I say the words, knowing she may not feel the same way about me, and I’m okay with it. These words should’ve been said years ago.
Maddy apprises me, looking deep into my eyes. Her hand cups my cheek and her fingers press lightly against the stubble that has grown in since my arrival. “I’m falling in love with you.” I lean down and kiss her, hoping to convey that I’m perfectly happy.
When I push away, “When you fall, I’ll be there to catch you.”
She smiles and brings both of her hands around my neck and pulls until I topple onto of her. Her laugh sends my heart into a tizzy as our legs intertwine and our bodies mold together. Madeline Metcalf was made for me, there isn’t a doubt in my mind.
We make love. It’s slow, tantalizing, and reaffirming. With each thrust, I look into her eyes, conveying just how much she means to me. This isn’t a fling, at least not for me. It’s forever. After she falls asleep, I stare at the ceiling and mentally prepare for what the morning is going to bring.
The best thing about dating the boss is that she calls all the shots. When her alarm went off at six, I convinced her to let her staff handle the days preparations. She eyed me warily and called me a bad influence. I’ve been called worse, but I wanted to monopolize her time. It’s selfish, I know.
After Maddy showers, we head over to my hotel, where I shower, change, and order room service.
“We should come back here tonight,” I tell her as I stand in the middle of my hotel room with nothing more than a towel on. Maddy is standing and facing the large window. My view overlooks the city. She glances at me from over her shoulder and shakes her head. She’s determined to ignore my wet torso because she actually has to work today.
“Why’s that?”
I walk over to her and press my back into her. Her sudden intake of breath brings a smile to my face. I wear the same cologne and aftershave I have since college and she loved it then, I suspect she still does.