“Baby.” He came closer to me, his arm moving around me, his other hand cupping my soaked cheek and directing my look on him. “I believe you.”
My tears stopped instantly because I couldn’t believe his response, how he was so calm, how he was so understanding. I expected him to storm out of the condo or tell me to get the hell out. I expected him to accuse me of horrible things. I expected him to view me like Valerie, like history was repeating itself.
His eyes softened as he looked at me, like my fear, tears, and pain were horrific to him. “It’s alright. Everything is alright.” He wiped my tears away with his thumb, his other hand rubbing my back.
“I didn’t want you to think I did what Valerie did—”
“I don’t.”
“And I…I was so scared you were going to leave me—”
“Never.” He grabbed my hand and held it on my thigh. “I trust you, baby. If you say it was an accident, it was an accident. Pregnancy is a side effect of sex, and we have a lot of sex. Birth control is not a hundred percent effective.” He moved his fingers to my hair and gently pulled the strands from my face so they couldn’t get wet against my cheeks. His brown eyes were kind, the same eyes I looked into every single day when he came home. The love was still there. “Take a few deep breaths and calm down.”
“I…I didn’t expect you to take this so well.” It was a miracle, to be honest.
He returned his hand to mine and held it. “I didn’t. I was upset…”
“What do you mean?”
He was quiet for a while as he looked into my tear-stained face. “I figured it out last night…when I touched your stomach.”
I stopped breathing, remembering the way he’d quickly rolled away once I’d repositioned his hand.
“I don’t know how I didn’t figure it out before. You don’t drink anymore. The fetus is rejecting fish. Your inexplicable mood. Some of the things Tucker has been saying to me lately. That doctor’s visit. It all just clicked.”
“Oh…”
“But then seeing how upset you are, how scared you are, how this has taken such a toll on you…it reminded of who you are, who we are. You would never force me into something I’m not ready for. It just…made me snap out of it.” He watched me for a while, an apologetic look on his face. “I’m sorry that my initial reaction wasn’t better. I was just caught off guard and overwhelmed.”
“It’s okay…”
“But now, I feel differently.” He squeezed my hand. “I wasn’t ready to have another child, but I wasn’t ready when I had Derek either. You’re never ready. You’re never ready to love someone so deeply, with all your heart. But we’ll figure it out. I’m gonna be here, always. There’s no reason to be scared.”
I started to cry again because I was so relieved.
“And you know what else I realized?”
I sniffed. “What?”
“The first time I had a child, it was with someone I didn’t love. But I love you…so much, and that’s going to make this so special. It’s different. It’s the highest form of love, to combine your DNA with another person’s, to create something that will live after you’re gone. There’s no one else in the world I would want to do that with besides you.”
It was a romantic thing to say, in his own way.
“So…I’m happy about it.”
“You are?” I wiped my tears away, trying to make myself look better even though there was nothing I could do to improve my disastrous face.
“Yes.” He cupped my cheek as he looked into my eyes. “Very.”
I moved into him, pressing my wet face into his neck, holding on to him as I finally let go of all the fear, all the stress. I didn’t expect this story to have a happy ending, for Deacon to accept this with open arms. I expected a fight, expected heartbreak, expected to move out and raise his kid as two separate parents. But he trusted me…believed me…loved me.
He rubbed my back as he held me against him and kissed my forehead. “I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this alone. I wish you had told me sooner.”
“I was scared,” I whispered into his shirt. “So scared.”
“I know, but I wish you had trusted me…the way I trusted you.”
“I lost you before, and I was so scared to go through that again—because it nearly killed me. I wanted to enjoy our happiness a while longer…before I lost everything. But you’re right. I should have said something sooner. I’m sorry.”
He kissed my forehead again. “It’s okay, baby.”
I pulled away and stared into his eyes.
His fingers cupped my cheek, looking into my face with a slight smile on his lips.
“What?” I whispered.
“We’re having a baby.”