“Were you around a lot when he was that small?”
“Honestly, I worked a lot. Valerie did everything. We didn’t really develop a relationship for six months. I mean, I loved him the moment he was born, but all those connections happened when he was much older. But when they’re babies, they just sleep most of the time and cry in between.”
She nodded slowly.
“Should we have his party on Saturday?”
She stared at me blankly, like she hadn’t heard what I said.
“Baby?”
“Hmm?” Her eyes refocused on me.
“Should we have his party on Saturday?”
“Yeah, that should be fine.”
“Everything alright?”
“Yes,” she said immediately. “I was just thinking about the cake and all that. Maybe we could have Rice Krispie treats that look like moon rocks on top of the cake or something.”
“Yeah, he’d like that.”
“When is your trip to Sweden?”
“The middle of the month.”
“And you’ll be gone for a week?” she asked sadly.
“Yeah.” I was excited to go. It was an honor to be invited. But…I didn’t want to leave her and Derek behind. I wished I could take them with me. If it were over summer, I would. But Derek couldn’t be pulled out of school when it was his first year.
“You know, I’ve never seen your Nobel.”
“It’s in my office.”
“We should put it on the wall or something.”
I shrugged. “Seems a little douchey.”
“What?” she asked incredulously. “You think Olympic winners just leave their medals in a drawer?”
“It’s just…kinda egotistical.”
“Don’t you want Derek to see it every day and be proud of his father? For me to see it every day and be proud?”
“I already know you’re proud of me, baby.”
“Well, I want everyone who walks into the place to see it and feel the same way.”
Most people were annoyed with my constant success. I’d been taught to downplay it so it wouldn’t piss people off so much.
“How did you feel when you received it?”
I stared into her eyes for a while as I replayed the memory in my mind. “I was a bit incredulous when I got the call…but also unsurprised. Colleagues had told me there was no chance it would be given to someone else, that my research was too groundbreaking. When I attended the ceremony, that was really surreal, to stand in a room full of the brightest minds and be given an award like that. Leaders across the globe had stood at that podium. Celebrated scientists had stood at the podium. So many legacies had crossed that stage, and I was one of them. My regret…is that my father wasn’t alive to see it.”
Her eyes showed her pain. “I’m sure he did see it, Deacon…”
“I’m not religious.”
“Doesn’t matter,” she whispered. “Science can only explain so much, right? I believe he was there, that somehow he knows, that somehow he felt the pride you wanted him to feel.”
“Yeah…maybe.”
“But your son was alive. And when he’s old enough to really understand, he’ll look back on that video and be totally inspired and enamored.”
That was a thought that did make me happy.
“I’d like to watch it sometime, whenever the time is right.”
“It was just a speech.”
She rolled her eyes. “It was more than a speech, and you know it. Don’t downplay your accomplishments. I appreciate your humility, but I’m your person. You don’t need to be humble with me. I want you to feel good about everything you’ve done, to appreciate every single accomplishment you make.”
She and Valerie were as opposite as night and day. “The last fight Valerie and I had before I left…was because I came home and didn’t really talk. I had too much on my mind, and I was just bad at talking. She screamed at me and threw my Nobel over the fence.”
She inhaled a deep breath, her eyes vicious.
“It was dark, so I had to take a flashlight and spend all night looking for it. Thankfully, it wasn’t scratched up. When I came back to the house, I told her I wanted a divorce. I called my lawyer the next morning, filed the paperwork, and then left for New York.”
She shook her head and pressed her lips tightly together.
“I guess that’s why I haven’t put the Nobel on display…but I think I’m ready to now.” Cleo felt pride from my accomplishments like they were her own. She never flattered me because of my wealth, but because of the things I’d accomplished with my mind. She was my cheerleader, my support. She was never jealous or envious of what I’d done.
“Good, because it deserves to be on the wall…so we can appreciate it every day.”
Twelve
Cleo
When we returned to the city, all the decorations had been removed. Packed and placed in storage, they were out of sight until next year.
Derek was disappointed. “Where did the tree go? And the gross candy dish? It looks ugly in here now…”
I loved every word that came out of his mouth, his bluntness. Sometimes he said incredibly sweet things, and they were from the bottom of his heart. He complained about the look of the living room, but it was a compliment because he missed the decorations so much. “They’ll come back next year.”