Deacon walked through the door at almost eight in the evening.
Derek was already asleep.
He was in jeans and a long-sleeved shirt with his black coat on top. He took off his satchel, hung up his coat, and then walked to the dining table where he left his bag. Then he turned to me and kissed me, like a husband coming home to his wife. “Did you make dinner? I’m starving.”
The question was a little offensive, but I tried not to let it get to me. I didn’t mind doing things for him like making dinner, but coming home late and asking for food without saying much else was a bit misogynistic. “Yeah, it’s in the fridge.”
He grabbed the plate and put it in the microwave. “Sorry, I didn’t have lunch today.” He didn’t even wait for it to be fully heated before he pulled it out and grabbed a fork. He took a bite on the way to the dining table. “This is good.” He sat and scarfed everything down.
Since he hadn’t eaten all day, I let his comment slide.
“How was Derek?”
I took the seat beside him. “Good. He did his homework then we had dinner. He’s already asleep.”
“Thanks. I was in the lab all day.” He took big bites and shoveled the food into his mouth, his eyes on his plate most of the time.
“I can always bring you lunch.”
“I can’t eat in the lab, and I didn’t want to leave… It just happened.”
I nodded.
He finished everything then washed it down with the beer he took out of the fridge. Now that he’d been fed, he was much more relaxed, like he’d been hangry for just a few seconds. He ran his fingers through his hair then looked at me, turning apologetic. “Thank you for picking up Derek and watching him today. I’ve never had him on my own like this before. I’m not sure when Valerie is going to want him back… This is unprecedented.”
I understood the situation. “Of course. I’m always here. But what are we going to do the rest of the week?”
He shook his head as he sighed. “I’m not sure. I can’t leave early this week.” He kept his eyes on me.
“Okay. Should we ask Valerie?”
He considered the idea before he rejected it. “I don’t want Derek to be in that environment when she’s like this.”
“Alright. I have a few nannies I could ask.” They took care of other clients in the building, and they could squeeze in some time to make this work.
“I don’t want a stranger watching my son.” His answer was immediate, like he didn’t need to think about it.
“Well, then you’re going to need to leave work.”
“I just said I can’t do that.”
Now I was starting to get pissy. “If you aren’t going to watch him, ask Valerie, or use a nanny, then what other option do you have?”
He was quiet.
“Because it sounds like you expect me to do it.”
He grabbed his beer and took a deep drink. “I guess…I’m just used to you solving all my problems.”
“And that’s true. But childcare is different.”
“I understand that. But I guess I want you to watch him. You’re the only person I trust him with.”
It was a sweet thing to say, and I tried to focus on that. “I appreciate that, but I have a job, Deacon. I already blew off a lot of important tasks today to accommodate you. I can’t do it again.” I would never expect him to do that, so why did he expect me?
He studied me, his eyes narrowing. “It sounds like you’re mad.”
“I am a bit frustrated…”
He clearly didn’t understand.
“Because I’m a woman, you expect me to drop everything to take care of your son.”
“It’s not because you’re a woman—”
“It seems that way. Why do you expect me to make that sacrifice instead of you?”
“It’s not that I expect you to do anything.” His tone started to match mine. “I just want you to watch him. I want you to be the woman in his life.”
“You’re basically asking me to be his mother…”
“What’s wrong with that?” he asked, dead serious.
“Deacon, we aren’t even married.” It was wrong to expect me to play housewife when his ex was being difficult. “This is your responsibility, not mine. I love Derek like a son, but I have a career that requires my focus. I can’t just abandon my responsibilities because you can’t look after your son. You’re putting this on me…when it isn’t fair.”
He looked away, clearly irritated. “That’s not how it is.”
“It seems that way.” I tried to stay calm because I knew Deacon thought differently than other people, that he struggled to express his feelings.
“You’re the person I trust most in the world. You’re the woman I want to be with my son. I meant that in a good way, not a piss you off kind of way.”