I suddenly don’t.
This is not a gateway for him to have control and give it away, by talking to me. This is him just plain pushing me further out the door.
“Stop,” I hiss and his grip eases. “Stop, Kace.” I turn in his arms and stare up at him. “I won’t ever be able to love you enough, will I?”
He must sense the shift in me, the defeat, because he softens instantly. “Aria.”
“I can’t give you all of me, and I have, and feel like you’ve got one foot out the door, Kace. I’ve lost too many people. I’d rather just be alone. So just let me off the couch. I’ll go home. I’ll take a flight and—”
“No,” he says, his fingers twining in my hair and dragging my gaze to his. “You go home with me. You go home with me.” His mouth closes down on mine, and his kiss is different now, gentler, but desperate, demanding, but not controlling. A deep, soul-searing kiss, that melts me oh so easily. He scoops me up and carries me to the bedroom, lays me on the mattress, and comes down on top of me. “I’m sorry.”
My fingers tangle in his dark hair. “Don’t push me away.”
“I’ll try.”
“Kace—”
“I need to feel you next to me right now.” His mouth closes down on mine, and I don’t fight him for answers. I sink into the kiss and his touch, and what follows is us making love the first time after our confession of love. He undresses, and I get rid of the only thing I’m still wearing—my high heels. And then he’s kissing me, so many delicious places, that I can say, I’m owned. I’m so very owned by this man and I like it. I don’t fear it. I don’t fight it. I fall into it and him. I feel our bond again, and God, I needed to feel it. I feel our love. With him inside me, kissing me, our bodies swaying together, I am complete, my world is right again. When it’s over, he stands up and walks to the bathroom. My heart is racing with where this goes next, but he returns and brings me a towel, sliding it between my legs, and we roll into each other, side-by-side, facing each other. He strokes my hair from my face. “I do love you, Aria. Like I didn’t think I could love anyone.”
“I love you, too.”
“You are not alone.”
“Neither are you, Kace. You know that, right?”
His lashes lower and he rolls to his back and stares at the ceiling. “I met her at a Riptide event. She was a producer out of L.A. I hired her and she went on the road with me.” He looks over at me. “I never loved her. I never pretended to love her. I have never told anyone but you that I love them.” He looks back at the ceiling, as if the rest he can’t speak while looking at me. “Easy sex. Companionship.” He sits up. “We were together for a year. She told me she loved me. I knew I’d been selfish. I knew I had to end it. And so I did.”
“And?” I grab a throw blanket and wrap it around me. He stands up and pulls on his pants.
“She lashed out. She did interviews and said I’d cheated and abused her, none of which was true. I think it was meant to distract me and it worked. She hopped in Alexander’s bed and used insider information to cut me. One of my songbooks I’d long-wanted back from a studio finally had a contract expiring. She and Alexander bought it out from underneath me. He now owns some of my best, most profitable music.”
“I’m—speechless. I’m—I really am.”
“I wasn’t. I was furious. I became my father’s son. An eye for an eye. I went to war, Aria. I went at her first. I made sure she didn’t work in the industry again. I went at her hard. I ruined her. Alexander was next but he threatened to lock down my music. It didn’t matter. I didn’t care about the money. I have plenty of money but that was my life’s work. It was personal. I was coming for him.”
My throat goes dry because I know she’s dead. “And something happened?”
“Yes. To give you history, she’d met Chris. She knew his story. She knew about my sister—” He looks down.
“And she knew how this would affect you.”
“She did. It was like a final ‘fuck you,’ an ‘I won. I threw the last punch. I beat you, you bastard.’” His eyes meet mine. “Now you see the monster I can be. The mind my father made.”
“No.” I scramble off the bed and rush to him. I let the throw fall away, and wrap my arms around him. “No. You are not a monster. You did what anyone under attack would do. What did you do to Alexander?”