I should have known this was coming. I haven’t drawn them in a while but with Ben’s betrayal weighing heavily on my heart, it only makes sense.
I wonder what my parents would have thought if they knew what Ben had done. Were they the forgiving type? Would they have held a grudge and disowned him? My gut tells me they would have done a bit of both, but I want to know exactly how long they would have punished him. I guess no one really knows what they’re going to do when faced with betrayal.
In the end, it doesn’t change the fact that Ben betrayed my parents, but Anton is the one truly at fault here. He’s the one who stormed into my home in the middle of the night, he’s the one who tied us up, he’s the one who forced children to watch as their parents were brutally murdered.
What kind of man does that? Does he get a kick out of hurting people? Does it make him feel all gooey inside? Or does he do it to prove himself, prove that he’s the toughest asshole in the country? Whatever it is, I’m glad he’s now locked up, but my gut keeps telling me that it’s not enough. Sitting in a prison cell isn’t enough. I want him to suffer, I want him to feel it like the rest of the world feels it, but more importantly, I want him to endure the pain of a million deaths.
Jesus, what have I become? That sounds so morbid.
I try to put Anton to the back of my head, right where he belongs and focus on the comforting sound of the ball in the distance while drawing the fine lines of my mother’s face.
I soon zone out and get lost in my drawing. I have too much good in my life to be thinking of the bad. I’m moving forward and while the threat of Lucien coming for me is extremely real, I can’t let it affect how I see the world. I know the world is full of monsters, but I’ve finally found a place that’s going to allow me to shine.
If and when Lucien comes for me, we’ll be ready. He won’t stand a chance in hell. I’ve built an army here and though it may be small, it’s filled with love and there’s nothing stronger. Lucien can withstand any kind of storm, but he wouldn’t be able to match that, not when he’s never experienced love. He doesn’t know what it is, he doesn’t know how to feel it or how to get anywhere close. He doesn’t know its effects and he sure as hell doesn’t know how damn strong it is. In Lucien’s eyes, love is a weakness but he couldn’t be more wrong and that’s exactly how he’s going to meet his downfall.
The sound of the ball comes to a stop and I glance up to find my boys making their way back over here. “So,” Damian says as Slade drops down beside me and glances over my shoulder at the sketchpad. “I know you two are like together and all, but you’re not still down for a three-way, are you?”
“The fuck, man?” Slade grunts as my eyes shoot up to the idiot. Does he have a death wish? Surely, he’s just saying this to get at Slade after getting his ass kicked. He knows how possessive Slade can be.
“Come on, bro,” Damian says with a glisten deep in his eyes. “Ever since your girl fucked up Rachel, I’ve been dry. I need to get my dick wet. What do ya say? We could run back to your place. I swear, it’ll be quick.”
“The fuck?” Slade repeats.
“I mean, if you’re not down, I’m sure Sky and I would be fine on our own.”
I shake my head, looking up at him in horror. “No chance in hell.”
“But you’re so good with your hands. Though, I’d like to see what that tongue can do.”
Slade shoots the ball so hard into Damian’s chest that he’s forced back three steps. “Knock it off before I have to do it for you. That’s my fucking girl you’re talking about.”
“Bro,” Damian groans, dropping down onto the side of the court and placing the ball beside him. “Chill out, you know I’d never cross that line. I just like messing with you, but I’m serious. I’ve got fucking blue balls here. I haven’t gone this long without getting laid in ages.”
“Wow,” I laugh. “I didn’t think you’d ever have issues finding someone to suck your dick.”
“I usually don’t,” he agrees. “But Rachel’s got everyone running scared. If she can’t have it, she doesn’t want anyone else to.”
“Are you serious? Why didn’t you say something? I can handle that for you.”
“No thanks,” he grunts. “That’s exactly how I ended up in this situation in the first place. I just have to find someone who’s not going to be scared off by her.”