He presses into me, challenging me, daring me to fight back. “What’s your alternative? Living there and being abused every night? Having a fucking arranged marriage? Watching Lucien creep through your bedroom door, putting his hands on you? That’s fucking bullshit and you know it.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I growl.
“Yeah? Why don’t you ask Blake what he thinks? Even if he loses his ability to play, you think he’d ever want to take you back there? You think he regrets his decision to leave with you? I don’t know what the fuck is going through your head right now, but I know what his answer would be. He’d give it all up for you over and over again if it meant keeping you away from that man.”
“I promised him his dream.”
“And I fucking promised you that I’d keep you safe yet you still got shot while I watched the life drain out of you.”
My brows furrow as I look up at his blazing eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean? That has nothing to do with this.”
“Doesn’t it? It’s a broken promise.”
“That’s not fair. You couldn’t have known we were going to be in that situation when you made that promise.”
“Just like you couldn’t have known this was going to happen when you made yours.”
I shake my head. “No, you’re wrong,” I tell him. “I did know. I knew perfectly well that he was capable of something like this but I couldn’t see past my desperation to fully understand what kind of situation I was putting Blake into. My actions have cost him his future.”
“No. Your actions have given him a loving home, somewhere he can be safe and loved. Lucien’s actions have cost him his future. Don’t get those two things confused. You are good, Skylah. You are so fucking good and you put your brother’s needs before your own for so long. It’s time to look after you now. Blake’s a big boy, he’ll understand.”
“No,” I tell him, letting the tears fall once again and hating the way he breaks seeing them on my face. “You don’t understand. I had to beg him to leave. He didn’t want to run but I begged. I was ready to leave without him. I was going to walk out that fucking door and leave him there. He would have had it all. He would have been Lucien’s shining star with the world at his feet, but I destroyed any chances he had. He saw I was hurting and couldn’t bear the thought of me leaving alone so he came. I should have just stayed. Your family would be safe, Shay would be safe, and Blake wouldn’t be in the middle of surgery.”
His voice drops and he leans in, pressing a finger to my chest. “And where would you be?”
My gaze drops, unable to look at him like this.
“Answer the fucking question, Sky. Where would you be?”
“In hell.”
“Exactly. Blake chose. He decided to leave. I feel for him, I really do, but to leave with you was his call. He couldn’t have been naive enough to think that his sister could get him into the NBA. You know just as well as I do that the only person who can get him there is himself. He’s the one who needs to put in the work, he’s the one who needs to impress the scouts, not you. You made him an empty promise and you’re allowing that to tear you apart. Blake will heal and when he does, Coach will assess if going pro is still in the cards, but until then, you need to quit beating yourself up because you have done nothing but try to survive and no one can fault you for that.”
Slade pulls back and releases his hold on me. He takes two steps and turns to face the parking lot, taking a deep breath to calm himself. I sag against the wall, feeling completely deflated, barely holding it together.
Slade turns back to me and the wild emotions in his eyes are almost enough to have me throwing myself into his arms, but I hold back. “Have you got that?” he questions, stern, demanding, and desperate.
I don’t respond, just keep staring. No matter what he says on this one, I’m not budging. Blake is my little brother. He’s my responsibility. When our parents were killed, he was all I had left in the world and I vowed to always protect him and no matter what way I look at it, I failed. I let him down.
Slade sighs, seeing the resolve in my eyes and steps back into me. His arms pull me in against his warm chest and I go willingly. “Come here,” he says as his face buries into my neck. “That’s enough, okay? We’re not finished with this conversation but you’re hurting. I won’t push you anymore.”