“Not ready,” he finished with a nod.
“I’m being ridiculous.”
“No, you’re being cautious. I get it, Katiebear.”
“What am I waiting for?” I asked under my breath as his hands slid around me and lightly over the curves of my ass.
“I don’t know, baby,” he replied seriously. “But you’ll know it when it happens.”
“I’m tired,” I said wearily, dropping my hands back to my sides.
“Let’s go to sleep then.” He stood from the bed and gave me a light tap on the ass, moving around me to grab a nightgown and a pair of panties out of my dresser.
He dressed me gently and kissed my forehead. “I told you I’d dress you.”
Once we were back in bed, he curled around me and fell asleep quickly, but I couldn’t sleep for a long time. I felt like shit for turning him down yet again, but the thought of having sex with Shane caused this weird fluttery panic deep in my belly that I couldn’t ignore.
I trusted my gut.
Chapter 17
Kate
What the heck, Keller?” I yelled in frustration two weeks later, knowing that I should try keeping my voice down but unable to calm myself.
I was staring at a letter that he’d brought home from school, and I couldn’t believe what I was reading.
My boy, my sweet sensitive boy who was protective of Gunner and Iris like they were his children, was a bully at school.
“What’s going on?” I asked, tempering my voice a little.
He stood in front of me, his arms crossed over his chest—which incidentally was no longer cute anymore—and refused to say a word. Instead, he was glaring at me like he couldn’t stand the sight of me. I didn’t understand what was going on.
The first month of school had been hard for Keller. He didn’t like being away from home all day, and he didn’t seem to be making many friends in his class. But I’d thought he was adjusting. He’d snapped out of the funk he’d been in and had gone back to being the playful daredevil we all knew and loved.
“Well?” I asked in exasperation, pointing and glaring at Sage and Gavin, who were trying to peek at us around the corner of the wall before looking back to Keller. “Your teacher says you’ve been being mean to the other kids. That you’ve been calling them names. Is that true?”
He scowled, his eyebrows pulling together.
“Answer me,” I ordered.
After a few minutes of silence, I honestly had no idea what to do. I wanted to send him to his room, but I knew that wasn’t really a punishment. Gavin and Keller had toys strewn from one end of the bedroom to the other. I’d essentially be sending him up to play.
“Fine,” I mumbled, walking over to a kitchen chair and pulling it against the wall. “Sit.”
He didn’t move from his spot, and I finally had to take him forcibly by the hand and walk him to the chair, lifting his ridged body up until he was seated.
“You can stay there until you’re ready to talk,” I said in frustration.
I checked on Gunner, who was playing quietly on the floor, and Iris, who was drowsing in her swing, before sitting down at the table where I could check my email and watch Keller.
He didn’t move. He just sat there staring across the kitchen.
For an hour.
Then two.
By the time Shane came home, I was almost in tears I was so frustrated. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to make him keep sitting there, but I also didn’t want him to outlast me.
“Daddy’s home,” Shane called as he pushed through the front door.
“Keller’s in trouble!” Gavin called, his voice a little wobbly.
“Gavin! Shh,” Sage scolded.
I couldn’t see Shane but he must have acknowledged them somehow because they went quiet. Soon Shane was walking into the kitchen.
He took in Keller sitting in the kitchen chair then looked at me, raising his eyebrows. “How long has he been there?”
“A couple hours,” I said in frustration.
He must have interpreted the tone of my voice wrong, because suddenly he was scowling.
“Up to your room, bud,” he told Keller, turning to face him. “I’ll be there in a minute.”
Keller jumped up from his spot and raced out of the room, sending me a look of triumph as he went past. My jaw dropped in shock.
“What the fuck, Shane?” I hissed, standing up.
“Funny, that was going to be my question,” he said back, unbuttoning his uniform. “Hours, Kate?”
“Are you kidding me right now?” I asked, my voice low.
“He’s six years old, and he’s been sitting on a wooden kitchen chair for hours?” Shane asked derisively, pulling off his blouse. “A little excessive, don’t you think?”
My heart raced as I watched him move around the kitchen, placing his wallet and watch on the counter before turning to face me. I couldn’t speak. The words felt lodged in my throat.